


Without Emilia

by pseudomancer



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:07:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 54,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26108452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudomancer/pseuds/pseudomancer
Summary: So, Tappei has decided to not update Arc6 in almost one year. What are his fans s'posed to do, in-fact? Create garbage, I suppose.This is a continuation/imagining from roughly Ch79~ of Arc6's WN in which:1. Emilia's name is eaten and does not receive any aid from the dragon.2. Rem wakes up3. Subaru-camp must accommodate the "half-baked past" created as a part of Emilia's erasure from history.It assumes WN is largely canon. Anime-Only should stay away.Some overly gratuitous content in later chapters (aka secks).
Relationships: Emilia/Natsuki Subaru, Natsuki Subaru/Rem
Comments: 62
Kudos: 111





	1. Nameless One

**Author's Note:**

> This story assumes you have read Arc6 up to chapter 75, where Subaru leverages Cor Leonis and subtasks his allies to take on the myriad of dangerous threats in the tower. Since we don't actually know what happens next, I am glossing over some detail of how this all resolves itself. Leave it up to your imagination.
> 
> Because Emilia's name was eaten, history "corrected itself" in the best way it could manage. The details of which will unfold in the ensuing chapters.
> 
> I think writing rezero fanfiction well is an impossible task (it has too many moving parts for me to track). Please denote any logical errors or inconsistencies in the comment section so that I can make corrections.
> 
> One of the interesting things that I think also holds back rezero is how important Emilia is to the story. If you cut her out, it lets Subaru have way more freedom in his actions. That said, this story is not really about that, so much as Emilia suddenly being "cut out" at such a late point in the story - how would she fit herself "back in" would she even want to.
> 
> This story will at times fluctuate between being serious and being overly silly. It will probably read as something as a silly IF story rather than a serious continuation.

Below the great Pleiades tower, the eroded ground looked so inviting and soft. As much as she would like to, Emilia could not admire the serenity of the sky's heavenly light upon the world below. She noticed hundreds of approaching shadows closing in all around, their gangly limbs and sprawling bellies rippling in grotesque horror. Witch beasts were slinking across the sands toward the tower in erratic, bloodthirsty groups; all aimed toward Subaru's tiny speck. Many disgusting airborne creatures were drawn into the battle raging between Shaula and Beatrice, with Subaru clinging to her and becoming one in their gravity-defying twirls. Emilia was in awe, but she couldn't dally. She knew she had to hurry before her allies spent themselves fighting without her.

She could not allow herself to be distracted by any of it. All she could have was faith in her knight, that he would somehow find the way through another impossible obstacle. All she could have was faith in herself, that she would overcome this calamity in the final minutes, somehow.

"Subaru," she murmured, a glaring wind scraping across her tattered skirt, "I need to get back down there, he needs me."

She just needed to finish this trial. That was her burning goal. All her friends were counting on her, everyone was depending on her!

The top of the stone tower was nearly absent of flourish; like it had been finished with haste. A dais was raised in the middle with a small stone structure behind it needling the clouds above. Sitting on the raised throne was not a man, but a man-sized dragon. Emilia had read many books of mythological creatures in her studies, as well as all about the Divine Dragon that watched over Lugnica. Volcanica had appeared few times in recent history, one of them being to stop a plot by Stride Vollachia years ago, but it had also stayed out of the mixed-blood wars to much controversy over five decades ago. It was his prophetic stone that had chosen her, as well as four others, to run for future Queen of Lugnica. She supposed she would be meeting him up here...? She knew of no other living dragon, though there had been more in recent memory, supposedly.

What she did find was surprising. Seated on the throne was a demihuman, at first glance, perhaps even an gaint or ogre like Felt's Rom. But upon making her stride closer, she made out more and more features. Emilia could not immediately discern whether this was Volcanica or some other dragon, but she knew she was staring at a creature of legend. She had never heard of the dragon, or any other, being this "small", but as she drew in, she could comfortably say he - or it - was smaller than Rom, but far larger than herself. She heard her heels click against the stone, her regal march somehow eclipsing the sound of the fighting below, or the harsh winds dragging across the unfurling desert. 

She could hear her own heartbeat. A fear so irrational making her heart race. Emilia gathered her own resolve to approach the stoic dragon-man, who had since locked eyes with her, but neither said nor did nothing in reply. His arms were thick columns, buried into the arms of the throne.

Emilia attempted a curtsy with her frayed skirt, then a bow, "Excuse me, Dragon-sama, might I know your name? I am Emilia, the candidate for the 42nd ruler of the noble land of Lugnica. I am here to take the third trial of this tower." She did not hesitate or show any fear, even if she was anxious to have this be over with right away, she knew she couldn't afford to retry this so many times like back in Sanctuary. She had to pass the very first time and with haste.

It spoke with a delicate enunciation of its long lips, "Mineself know what thouself are, Nameless One."

It spoke with a languorous heat in its haughty tone, "Mineself have carved the song of Od Laguna into mine own heart."

It spoke with anger, "Fallen leaves.

"At the water's bottom.

"The deep sky."

Emilia was left in abundance of confusion, as it spoke no more, spoke so simply, spoke so angrily at her. She approached it without regard for herself and the dragon sat up straighter, its nostrils becoming swollen, its eyes filling with hate at her incomprehension.

"I'm sorry. I don't understand." Emilia offered it a smile and an incoherent tremble of her leaf-like body, "Will you tell me your name? Are you really Volcanica? Or how about the trial? What must I do to succeed?"

It shook its head, "Mineself will not bestow mine name unto thou, Nameless One," the dragon spoke louder, "Mineself have no trial for you, Nameless One."

It seemed mirthful, if only for a moment. Hate returned to it casually.

"For thouself are already an ordeal upon the world, Nameless One."

Emilia was frozen in her next step, alarmed.

"I'm not an ordeal, nor am I nameless, my name is Emilia and I beseech you! Maybe there are people out there better deserving of being tried, maybe there are people out there better deserving of being Queen, but whatever reason you have for denying me, please humbly reconsider. So many precious people are depending on me. And just as importantly, I want to atone for my past mistakes. I want to heal the wounds of this world. I want to restore the faith in everyone. I want to rekindle the bonds that unite man and beast in common good. Please, let me hear your wisdom, Great Dragon."

It wouldn't take the divine wisdom of the dragon to see through Emilia, to recognize premeditation. Her words were hers, but born from isolation. She had studied for over a year in preparation for meeting Volcanica, ruminating over these very words.

It didn't even seem to register to it, or seem to care what she had come for. The dragon spoke with hate and loathing, its claws digging into the arms of its stone throne:

"Pulling out and pulling out -

"Attachments of the weeds,

"Pulling out."

Although momentarily stunned by her complete inability to understand, she shook the disorientation through sheer empathy. Emilia was immediately reminded of a time she was in the gardens, helping Rem pull weeds out. At the time, it had seemed like such easy work, but the weeds never stopped, there were always more, and it felt like she could pull on them for all eternity, like Roswaal's garden had an endless rope of stubbornly clinging weeds. To pull on. And pull on. And pull on. A never ending, infinitely fraying rope of tangles and threads.

The dragon did not stop there. Its eyes regarded her with disdain, evaluating her worth as less than filth:

"Ah, how peaceful the sky,

"Then with citron fruits,

"One or Two."

Emilia puzzled over those words, sure there might be a trial or clue within them. Emilia recalled the last time she peeled and bit into a fresh citron. Its tartness tingled on her lips. The memory was vivid, but it failed to help her in this moment. She didn't understand how any of it connected.

"I don't understand, please at least give me a name to call you by, so that I am not disrespectful, Great Dragon. There must be a trial for me. I need to pass, for the sake of everyone depending on me. Please? I am truly humbled, and I-"

The dragon shook its head and this time spoke out of rhetorical turn: "Nameless One, thouself is dependended upon by no one. Thy fate is cut away like a citron is cut away from a tree. Thouself are a freed strand from the eternally spun rope of Fate. For thouself, there is no trial. For thouself, there is no past and so there is no future. For thouself, your ordeal upon the world is over. Go finally now, depart this world that mineself preside, may thou wretched and nameless soul abandon attachment and find ultimate repose."

The way it kept saying 'ordeal' made Emilia falter, her face screwing up in frustration. The way it spoke of fate, of death; it shook her. She did not yet succumb to her fear. She clung to hope, to logical appeal. The Great Dragon was wise and fair - all of the books had agreed.

"Are you confusing me with Satella, the Witch of Envy? Because I am not a witch, I am not Satella, I am not anyone's 'ordeal'. I am Puck's, Elior Forest's, Roswaal's, Beatrice's, Ram's, Patrasche's, Meili's, Julius's, Anastasia's, Petra's, Frederica's, Subaru's... I am everyone's friend! I am everyone's ally! I am everyone's future Queen!" Emilia stomped her foot and smeared her heel into the stone, "I have put up with being put down everywhere I go, but the least I would expect is for a divine dragon to understand the difference and not make me out to be a witch!"

While it seemed to stir at the word 'Satella', it did not give her any clues beyond a simple articulation of its scaled brow.

It continued, its anger abated, it cruelly mocking her with a smile: "Nameless Citron," 

"The house where thouself was born,

"There is no trace -

"Fireflies."

Emilia chewed on her lip, clearly able to imagine the scene. Like she could ever forget the house she grew up in, or how it had looked in her dreams: abandoned and emptied of all its love. How it would look in the dead of night, surrounded by floating, flickering fireflies. Hollow and empty, like those nearly seven years spent alone.

Emilia pleaded with the dragon, "Please give me a trial."

"Mineself cannot give a Nameless Citron a trial."

Emilia shook her head, "Then, won't you tell me how to restore my name? I know you have to be talking about how my name was eaten by the Archbishop."

The dragon shook its head, "Mineself cannot give thouself a name."

Emilia produced two tight, small fists, "Why can't you? Why must this always happen? What did I do to deserve any of this? Please, overlook whatever sins I've committed for now, I know I must atone even for things I don't completely understand, but right now I just need your help! I need to save my friends. I need to finish these trials! Can you discuss my misdeeds with me later?"

"Thy 'friends', those within the tower's watch itself, are in-fact already 'saved', Nameless Citron."

Emilia nearly looked relived. She wiped her eyes, "Do you mind explaining what you mean?"

The dragon held no pity in its eyes. In them she saw an utterly empty, tar black road into a starless night sky.

"Seeing them off,

"On a muddy path -

"Coming back alone."

Emilia trembled as she witnessed herself trailing back alone across a road of sludge, downcast gazing at all the recently left footsteps, her body being gradually buried in mud until it too vanished.

It continued to speak:

"Thy past,

"Thy future,

"The snow's radiance."

Emilia shook her head, "I don't understand what you're wanting to tell me, but if you're insisting there is no trial for me, then I can't stay here and waste any more time." She hesitated, her brow knitting in pain for even considering what she might do next, "If you won't tell me who you are, then I don't even know if your blood would help me."

It dared her to attack it, flexing its claws, "Nameless Citron, thouself were one of two keys. Now that thouself have dropped from the tree, the very world is safer and made more perfect and independent from your ruin. Reflect on this."

Emilia wiped at her eyes, looking perplexed.

"I don't know what you're saying."

It was more of the same, everywhere she went. If it wasn't for the few merciful people she could count on as friends... how had she not been driven mad with grief?

"Just what now, will thouself do, mineself asketh you?"

"I don't know. Is this supposed to be a joke? Everyone is always so hard on me, expecting me to just to know what to do. What did I ever do? I just want to help them!"

The dragon suddenly began to turn to sand, it leaving her parting words:

"Nameless Citron,

"Only the Sage can save thouself.

"Nameless Citron,

"Only thouself can save the Sage.

"And yet... as mineself see it, 

Both cannot be true."

It pointed to her heart:

"Each person,

"Walking alone,

"Snow falling."

And vanished.

Emilia was left lost and defeated at the top of the tower, unaware that her help truly had not been needed. Siphoned of strength and of will, coming back empty-handed, she arrived to provide what support she could. If the dragon would not give her the tools to reverse the course of fate, Emilia was determined to fight for her friends anyway, even if it might be in vain.

Unexpectedly, or perhaps true to the dragon's words, things were wrapping up when she arrived. There was no heroic upheaval; no need for Emilia's sacrifice; there's no story to tell. Emilia's resolve hadn't needed any testing for there truly was no trial for her to undergo. As anticlimactic as it was, through the efforts of her own friends, one by one, the foes the tower presented began to fall.

She ended up only providing minimal support for the battle against Reid. In the end, Subaru had found a way to save all of them without her. The battle ended without apparent injury, with her dropping to her knees, just lost in awe as Ram shook with a vigor unlike she had ever seen, Rem shining from tip to tip like a star; Julius's nameless side-arm crumbled away to dust and Shaula squealed as her Master collapsed, bleeding from incomprehensible wounds, but still whole.

None of it made sense, even Anastasia had cast unbelievable magic at Reid, yet she was somehow standing tall.

"S-Subaru?!" and her shattered mind became whole again, rushing toward a bloody puddle, "Subaru!"

\---

Blood was pouring out of Subaru's gaping wounds in his chest. Saliva was foaming out of his mouth as he staggered down the stairs in Rem's arms. So many stupid stairs, he wanted to scream at Julius for counting them all. He could feel each one of Rem's hops traveling through his battered body.

"Subaru-sama, please don't waste your strength complaining," Rem was carrying him with his legs hooked under one arm, his head cradled in her other. She was not crying, for she had already spent all her tears. 

He tried to speak, but he coughed instead, blood leaping out of his throat.

"Subaru-sama! Don't talk! Nee-sama, we need to stop, something is wrong with him!"

"-Hhhkk! Hhhk!" 

"He's choking!"

They stopped and Ram grabbed Subaru away from her sister. She plugged up Subaru's chest wounds with both her hands, turning him up side down and viciously plumbing the blood out of his throat with a vigorous shake! Heave! Heave!

"Hhhhhk! KKkhkkhhHhhhkkk!"

"Nee-sama!"

"Barusu will be fine. He's survived much worse than this."

Somehow, she unclogged Subaru's throat. He started breathing again, but with a look that seemed like he was going to murder her...

"Are you trying to kill me?! You'd better hope my save point-- Gyaaaaaaaaaah!" he twisted in pain ... partly the witch's doing.

Ram plunked Subaru back into Rem's arms. The two shared a look that made Ram want to puke blood herself. She could feel her sister Rem's emotions through their bond; that saccharine coagulation of overflowing love - it was more vile than any of the Gluttony children.

"Subaru-sama..."

The tower was still crumbling and collapsing around them.

"E...eh, R-Rem, don't give me a look like that, holding me like this... w-we have to keep moving! Tower!"

"The t-tower! R-right!"

They started moving again, Julius tripping up ahead. Sweat falling from his brow. Entire steps from the stairs slid away, coming undone thread by thread. Rem staggered, hopping over the growing gaps.

"Nee-sama, S-Subaru-sama is leaking again!"

"Rem, your deplorable Barusu is always making a mess! If you intend to stay with him this time, don't expect your Nee-sama to be the one to clean up after him!"

"Nee-sama, please take this seriously! Rem still doesn't know what's really going on!"

"The to~wer is collapsing~" Meili was riding a small witch beast, its wings flapping lazily in the air high above them.

"Meili!"

"We're saved!"

Behind her was a flock of beasts, all of them swooping in by pairs to hoist them up.

"Ah, do I really have to ride one of these, Master?"

But Subaru was already unconscious, subbmitting to exhaustion's hold.

And so things neatly came to such an end.

\---

In the reticence of space, gossamer ribbons of sand coiled like celestial dragons in the air. Demonic cries of wind raked their fangs across the eroding dunes. In the distance, the faint outlines of mabeasts nudged together in a retreating formation. Rem watched them fade away completely into the rippling heat. Traveling further and further away, finally the crumbling fuselage of a fallen tower sank into the heavens.

The ride home was never going to be politely quiet or uneventful. Shaula was just as animated as Subaru was on a good day, filling what would have been a wary, albeit restful silence with her noise. "Woooow, that's a desert flower, I think I knew the name once too!" "Oh, look over there! That's a skull!" "Julius~ is that a sword over there? It looks so rusty! I haven't seen rust in forever!" "I think I saw my first mirage, Master? Masteeeer!" A stream of endless banality that Julius, Meili, Anastasia, and her partner-spirit Echidna took turns enduring for the rest of the party. It did at least provide some distraction from the aches and pains of their ordeal. (Beatrice could not really endure it however, "You are far too unburdened I suppose, the outside world is not that much more interesting than the Forbidden Archive.") Their beleaguered caravan was sufficiently chewed up from travel, so they'd had to travel at a slower pace. It was a fitting gait, because everyone was solemnly holding their breath, awaiting or expecting their luck to reverse course. After taking on multiple archbishops of Greed, a horde of witch beasts, and an ancient swordsman, it didn't feel like they had any right to all be alive.

Emilia had done everything she could for Subaru, but it was not quite enough, it seemed.

"I do not know the particulars, having been disabled during it, but in addition to the physical wounds, Subaru is spiritually exhausted, I suppose. I can merely deduce that his 'bringing back' of Rem was in particular a large strain to his soul, in-fact." Beatrice had explained as they had floated away from the tower, clearly struggling with her own inability to protect her contractor and to fully diagnose his current condition.

Subaru's head was in Rem's lap. His eyes were peacefully sealed shut. He looked a little different than Rem remembered, but there was no doubt in the maid's mind that the good boy in her lap was Rem's Subaru. Rem's needle-like fingers stenciled vague shapes into his soft face, playing with his short bangs. She had found a concerning growth of black tar to his fair, smooth skin around his one hand and foot, but she refrained from commenting on it for now.

Outside the wagon-train, the restive sands of a forlorn desert stretched wide and far. Needle-like fingers stroked those soft dunes, something quiet and sad resting just as well underneath the surface.

"Rem, that look... are you still unwell?"

Ram was propped up against the side of the covered wagon. She looked completely dilapidated. All of her sisterly radiance was covered in blood, dust and sand. Her steadfast uniform was in an unsightly state of disrepair, just hanging off her shoulders in numerous thin ribbons and strips. Rem's was no better, a large rupture over her heart. The hole was patched in with old rags from the tower. As she had promised, Ram had eviscerated the one responsible for Rem's annihilation, but it had left her totally limp and exhausted and barely useful in the fight against Reid - at least until she mysteriously found a second wind within her. Ram seemed just ever so lightly jealous that Subaru was receiving her adorable sister's care, when clearly, she was in just as much need of her 'younger' sister's tender stroking. They had been apart for over a year, but had it even felt longer than that.

"Nee-sama, you should be resting. Please don't mind me."

"That fawning look of yours, it doesn't suit you."

"Nee-sama, I cannot apologize for how I look right now, but please accept Rem's sincere gratitude for your concern."

"That is a shameless and reproachful way to address the older sister who went so much out of her way to bring you back. Do you not see the current state your dutiful sister is in? I have had to shirk my duties to Roswaal-sama to come this far and right this whole mess. Do you fully understand the sacrifice I made for you?"

"Nee-sama, please accept Rem's sincere gratitude and golden words of thanks," Rem had a lone blue eye trained on her. She was radiant and resolved not to move an iota. Her happiness was so irrefutably resplendent it glowed as a starry raiment over her entire being.

Ram's lips twitched, but her near smile was interrupted by Rem's immediate return to doting. She was wearing far too an angelic smile for a demon. She was being far too fanatical in her fawning.

"I refuse to accept it, I did not come all this way for my little Rem to be stolen away from me again. Come here."

"Nee-sama, I must make sure Subaru-sama-"

Beatrice interrupted their argument before it could get any more traction.

"If you have the energy to argue right now, then you should sit watch outside. Our numbers of watching eyes are too thin for bickering, I suppose."

The red-coated spirit was also eyeing Subaru. Her small hands were rubbing themselves enviously. Rem could just tell she wanted an excuse to be holding Subaru. That was really too bad for her, Rem concluded.

Rem had nothing more to say. She was simply quiet. The oni had many questions about what had transpired in her absence. Last she knew, she was headed back with Ferris for treatment, Subaru having just triumphantly rallied with her to slay that accursed whale. Rem also wanted to talk to Ram about many things, as well as to apologize for causing so much pain and extra work for them, but even so, she had nothing more to say in the moment. She had just slept for over one year, but it still felt like she might need to sleep for days to recover.

Ram yielded in tacit defeat, glaring first at Beatrice, and then Anastasia, who had her head hung low in the most shadowy corner of the wagon. Anastasia had no real reason to be depressed or upset, but she was quietly ruminating on the sacrifices she had made and the little she had to show for it. Although she had been ultimately successful in splitting her essence from Echidna's (a result of Echidna somehow casting spells that should have outright killed them both, but mysteriously had not...), she had taken considerable damage to her od while traversing the tower with Subaru-camp. Her goals had not been shaken, but she wondered how many productive years she would actually have as Queen, before succumbing to an early demise.

Julius poked his head in from the front, the reins couched in his fingers, "Everything okay back there?"

Shaula twisted in her own seat beside him, her obscene breasts wobbling around as she bent low, "Is Master still sleeping?" it was too dark for her to see well into the wagon. 

To Julius, the outside sands were hot, reflecting painful light around them. 

Rem's hands shielding Subaru's peaceful eyes and face, Beatrice leaned back.

"He exhausted everything, as usual. He will not be responsive for many days, in-fact."

"Subaru-sama will wake up very soon, I know he will." Rem disagreed, making Beatrice twitch.

"Heh. If we require a timely awakening, then Barusu will usually meet the occasion."

"Nee-sama? That is high praise from you."

"Me praising or approving of him and me feeling that he is causing an unsuitable face for my cute Rem are two different concerns. Besides, you do not know the extent to which he has been causing trouble in your absence."

"Rem thinks she's very suited for Subaru-sama. And I know his nature very well. You will have to tell me all about it, though."

"I think not. Have him tell you, Rem."

Meili was hanging off the back of the wagon, her head peeking in as she draped over the back door, "So much a~do about nothing. Hmph! S'just a dumb boy that's a li~'l tired."

Meili's intrusion startled Emilia, who had been resting. She stirred. Her eyes fluttered open like a sparrow's wing. She sat up straight, immediately noting Subaru in Rem's lap: she was instantly resuscitated. The sight was very reminiscent of a dream she had just ended. A complicated smile overtook her thinned lips as its lingering images stoked her heart warm with fear. She was wrapped in a patchwork blanket, her clothes too damaged to be proper. She rubbed her eyes to hide a single tear.

"Good morning Emilia-san," Rem canted her head, "I'm glad to see you are well. Thank you so much for saving Subaru-sama. I have not properly thanked you for healing his wounds." She paused, "And all of us, too. Are you more rested now?"

"S..save him," she mumbled, pausing, "No, I'm not responsible for that..."

Emilia was still not used to again seeing such formal (but distant) looks from everyone. She nodded in appreciation with a natural smile. Nevertheless, she was also not prepared for Rem to call her 'Emilia-san'. It made her unable to suppress a deep cringe...

Whether it was humility or anguish, she smiled: "I'm also reeeeally glad to see you're okay Rem," her voice was a gentle as powdered snow, "Ah, I'm a little rested," she trailed off, "But, I don't think I can be at ease yet until this is all resolved." She was pushing down her words, her voice trembling with a desire to detonate, but she knew she had to be strong, "Rem, you know you were sleeping and forgotten by everyone except Subaru until just...yesterday?" Rem nodded and Ram creased her eyes shut.

"Yes, of course. Subaru-sama explained everything to me, back then." She did not elaborate by what she meant, or what the two might have done when Rem had just awakened inside the tower. Emilia only knew that they had been fighting Reid together, with Ram and Julius; that Subaru had endured too many awful wounds and wound up fading in and out of unconscious and coated thick, all over in blood. Inexplicably, the sisters were unhurt; so too did none of Reid's attacks not have any affect on Julius or Anastasia, merely injuring cloth and ornament.

Emilia was reluctant to ask about that. She was still reeling from her awful dream. The top of the tower. And...all this. All of it, from the very moment she had met Subaru, everything had gone in such a turn.

After a long silence, she continued the unbroken conversation, at least able to smile that everything was starting to calm down for the others.

"Then I should let you also know that I'm uhm, in a similar situation."

"Oh? I see, so we should know each other, then. I think I noticed that, with the way Subaru-sama was acting before he collapsed again! But that clearly explains everything between us. I'm sorry for not remembering you, Emilia-san."

"Yes! Of course we should know each other, I think we are suuuuch good friends, actually." Emilia felt like she was emulating Subaru a little, being soo forceful with her opinions like this, "You make good tea," she was smiling again, but actually a little ashamed she did not know Rem as well as she felt she ought to.

"Then I will be very happy to befriend you all over." Rem had such a beautiful and simple smile, "At least until we surely sort out the rest of these memory-related issues," she looked down at Subaru with a crease in her lip.

Emilia climbed up onto her knees and waddled over to Rem, crowding beside Subaru. The battered half-elf winced from minor discomfort in her thighs, but rested her bottom on the backs of her feet. She took one of Rem's hands and squeezed it, "How did everyone remember you suddenly? What did - was it you, Ram? I know you went off to fight one of the archbishops! It was such a frantic time, I didn't even realize I had forgotten you, until I saw you so suddenly defending Subaru." Emilia had clearly never seem Rem fight so ferociously and it was shown in her awe-drunk voice.

"I did, yes, but defeating him alone was not sufficient to restore my precious Rem. To bring her back, Barusu did something very reckless to my cute Rem. I know no more than that."

Rem just nodded, unable to supply more detail.

Meili was poised like a lazy worm over the back ledge of the wagon, her smooth and childish skin all sloughed over in a glib smile, "I was there when he did iii~t. A who~le bunch of miasma came out of onii-san's mouth when he touched Rem. He could barely stand after that!" Meili was gloating that she knew something so special, "He said some really embarrassing things about Rem onee-chan~"

"Miasma," Ram mouthed, "Explains why he stinks worse than usual."

"Stinks? I see," Emilia's voice was fragile - she knew how much Subaru pushed himself for her sake. 

But she also had never paid quite enough attention to these little clues. And now the dragon was making her question everything. She knew this was not the first time she had heard such talk. There was always something happen, so she usually let it wash over her, but...

Rem was hiding her face in the shadows. As an average maiden, she needed a private moment to relive that moment in the tower. Letting that memory take over her here and now would have been really bad, but she was afraid to let it pass, because she did not want the moment to ever be taken from her mind, but she did so. She pushed it down. She was far too tired to maintain her composure amidst them. Subaru...

In that frozen moment of time, in that single glance, Rem had seen all of his virtue and beauty. There was no way one could not awaken upon seeing such a stare; how crushing a look that it was, so wound in anticipation; a face like an open wound, a face like a tourniquet, yet even still the blood of that feeling poured thick into her chest. It made her sick, holding onto him. She was going to be pulverized by this feeling. She could not believe love could ever feel this oppressive.

"Then, we don't yet know what Natsuki-dono did, quiiiiite exactly." Anastasia shook her head.

"Given all the crazy things Subaru was shouting earlier, I'm sure he won't delay in restoring our memories of Emilia-san, I suppose, even if he does not understand the full ramifications of that, in-fact. Hmph."

Julius joked from outside, "Don't forget about me, too?" though he was clearly not having much fun with it, "I need my name restored, or I'll be not even a quarter as useful to Anastasia-sama."

"You've so far been just swell, Julius~! Are y'sure you want that name back~?" Anastasia joked.

"Master will fix everything," Shaula soothed her riding companion in the front, "Oh! Is that a village?! Woooooow!"

Rem stroked Subaru's face, holding back a thin scream. They were putting such lofty expectations on him, like always. He was already too hard on himself, doubling the burden on his back unnecessarily. These were not the words she wanted to hear. He needed more of their support.

Her face tensed up tighter and tighter until she could endure it no more. She started to cry again. She brought her lips low, pressing them firmly to his forehead. She rocked him silently. Emilia watched, looking and staring down the darkness creeping into those peaceful eyes of his. She hesitated throughout, smiling steadfast as the oni wiped her eyes dry with a hankerchief hidden in her skirt. Gazing across those sealed eyes, she could only recall the other times he had cried or leaned into her side. To be sharing this moment with Rem made her realize something important.

But Emilia didn't say what she wanted to say. She reached out and took Rem's face in her hands. Emilia's fingers were soft, silkier than the silky sound fresh leaves made when they scraped across the grass. She looked into Rem's eyes and started to cry.

"Emilia...san?"

Smiling the half-elf ensnared the maid in a hug.

"Emilia-san."

"I'm so glad you're back. Rem."

"A-ah," Rem patted Emilia awkwardly, grinning.

"Are you okay, Emilia-san?" Anastasia canted to stare.

"I don't know how Subaru endured this feeling," She pulled away, shaking her head. 

Rem wiped the half-elf's face of streaks with a (useless) hankerchief.

"We forgot you, Rem. Almost everyone did. Subaru pushed everyone to save you from this." She was referring to herself, so Rem finally understood, "I'm sor-" she stopped as Rem wiped her face again, "Thank you."

"Everything will be okay," Rem asserted.

The half-elf looked unsure, but nodded with a little embarrassment fresh on her swollen face. She ended up crawling back to the back of the wagon away from everyone else without another word. Meili watched her with a sly smile. The scene was too much.

"Mmmm, act~ually, is he really going to be o~kay after being banged up so much?" Meili's melodic voice was somehow straddling the line between concern and trolling, watching the emotions play upon her jailers' faces, "He looks too peaceful. He never looks like tha~t." The placid expression was contrasted by all the morbid blood soaked through that tracksuit. 

Beatrice huffed, throwing a sidelong glance of contempt, "I'm sure he is fine, in-fact. Even though I am not a healer, I can diagnose that there is nothing obviously wrong with him." She forced an intrepid grin, "Other than the usual, I suppose." She wagged a finger, "As I comprehend it, recovering a stolen name requires interfering with the world's flow of mana. That likely just made him tired. Based on how those books worked in the tower's library, I'm sure that place has a special connection to the leylines of the world. And -- then there is the fact we had to face so many monsters all at once." 

"Just how did you learn of that, Beatrice?" Anastasia said, Echidna stirred on her shoulder, "The world's flow of mana? How could Natsuki-dono do something like that?"

"Subaru shouted something awfully convenient before abandoning me to run off to Rem, I suppose. You will have to ask him."

Rem giggled (though her laughter was not bright, but instead rather clogged and wet) and stroked, "Always acting before thinking... that's him."

The wagon swam through coarse sand-covered rock. Stone teeth chewed through their wheels. Everyone grabbed onto something as the wagon shook and vibrated. Rem covered Subaru's face with her hands, cradling his skull. Because of this, she slid around, skidding until Emilia grabbed her and shored her up against the side of the wagon, bearing her weight onto the pair.

Patrasche whined as she dragged the cracked chassis back uphill. Everything settled down again and Emilia exhaled a sigh. The wagon churned lopsidedly for a while afterward, but it endured. Everyone breathed another sigh.

"Hehe, are we even going to make it like thi~s?"

"You could at least sound a little concerned, Meili-san!" Julius chided, "Of course we're going to make it. We'll be just fine. The tower's foundation is already so far away now. Just look, we're almost out of this awful desert."

"I'm going to miss it a little..." Shaula sniffed, "Master worked so hard on it, too."

Beatrice glared at the "tilted" girl. Shaula had been living in that tower for centuries and was a frightful monster inside. Somehow, Subaru had convinced her to join them in a way only he knew, but that didn't mean she had to extend the same sort of courtesy. Subaru was not really *her* master, which meant she must still a liability. Not everyone could turn out as blessedly perfect as herself after 400 years of isolation! And so, Beatrice regarded Shaula with great skepticism. 

But the sage was ignorant of that pressure directed at her. Shaula settled into her seat, "But I'm glad he came back for me."

Her ire ignored, Beatrice slinked away from an uncomfortable reminder of her past, kneeling beside Rem to escape that unsightly tower of hanging breasts. She too touched Subaru's face, "Mmm, still the same, in-fact." She had been checking on him regularly, but only because Emilia was too tired to provide any more medical attention. It wasn't like she needed to do this. Beatrice was sure Subaru was fine. She wasn't looking for excuses to touch him at all. Who would be so conceited as to need excuses to check on someone's health?

"I am so happy you're out and about Beatrice-sama," Rem giggled at that stern expression wrinking into itself; going so far as to even fondle her cheek. Beatrice did give her the smallest of meaningful looks as her face gave some slack, finally recalling their many (stifled) conversations in the manor after having suppressed those memories out of sheer guilt.

Beatrice deflected her own blush with a small pound of her fist, bopping Subaru in the cheek. "This absolute dummy has assembled far too many well-wishers and yet he cannot even be here to appreciate them, he is a massive fool, one who has gone so far as to cause even more unnecessary worry, in-fact. If I did not make a pact with him, he would have died many dozens of times over by now, I suppose. Does he not understand what kind of an inconvenience this is for anyone?"

Emilia cracked a giggle. It reminded her of something very nostalgic.

Rem pulled him up into slouched embrace from behind, slumping her head into his neck. It was almost a little too much, but Rem was shaking shamelessly; Ram could not chastize her sister, looking on with such a look of astonishment. And once she had become aware of Beatrice's feelings, conveyed ever so insincerely in those words, she pulled her into an embrace too, bundling up contractor and contractee in the soft hammock of her breast.

"H-Hey! What are you doing! 

"If he ever wakes up, I will have to murder him for taking my sister away from me again." More disingenuous words could not be spoken, for not even a single muck-filled word Ram uttered was coherent; her true emotion was clearly legible, but it was fine, since Subaru was not conscious to bear witness to any of it.

And so it continued like this. Silence turning to frustration, turning to more silence, until night fell. The sands washed away into tall red rocks. As night plunged, they found themselves at a familiar border town, one of the last stops they had made before approaching the tower. The bar-owner was surprised to see them. Emilia announced they were the ones to have destroyed the tower and that the witch beasts would likely disperse over the coming weeks. The small town celebrated that night. Although no one was in any mood for liquor, Julius and Ram did share a small drink quietly in the corner of a ram-shackle inn. 

Emilia had found a quiet corner to herself, dwelling on their hardships, as well as the last time they had all had alcohol together. She smiled, thinking of how easy that night had been. She could not allow herself to relax and be free, but she hoped at least one more time, she might...

They had taken Subaru inside to rest and Emilia had left Rem alone with him. Part of her cried out at the thought of leaving him alone like that, but another part of her was entangled in many regrets. Anastasia and Echidna had found her, though they hadn't been able to coax much conversation from the half-elf. Unsure what had transpired, they simply watched her from afar and tried to get her to seek out rest.

Julius found many tension-lifting topics to speak of, one of which being Rem's remarks about how well Subaru fought with him. Julius did once more talk about that regretful and piteous duel in the capital, but this time in reference to how Subaru had changed. And how he himself had grown.

"Barusu does nothing that is overly worthy of praise," Ram countered, "Don't illuminate his misdeeds in a gorgeous light. It's disgusting."

Julius could understand many of Ram's concerns; her harsh tone was part of her charm, and she did genuinely care about her sister, and even Subaru; however, something did not sit right with him. Of course, he did not know what Roswaal had told her, either.

"You should never put someone on a pedestal." Ram said reluctantly, "It just makes their fall that much harder to endure."

Julius conceded to her point, thinking it a little too spirited of a conversation to have over wine, but he wondered about that which she meant. He did not choose to challenge her.

"Humility is a virtue," he said, gently; thinking of his inadequacies. In spite of them, he had proven to be a valuble asset to Anastasia and an even greater friend to Subaru. He would not forget the lessons he had learned, facing a monster like Reid, "But in a way, it's good you are trying to be a voice of reason. But don't you think you're being too harsh?"

A little tipsy, Ram merely averted her eyes, "Whether or not I'm being harsh aside, Barusu needs someone to keep him from drifting off course. Will you temper him? You were just trying to coddle his past, idiotic behavior."

Julius laughed, "I find his mercurial nature appealing, in some sense. Although it is unbecoming of a knight, he cuts straight to the heart of the matter. That caused us to initially clash, but it has also caused him to pierce through the truth even in spite of his own failings. For that I will respect him." Julius was introspective for a moment, drowning in Reid's words, "He honors himself and Roswaal-sama by fighting and speaking so earnestly for his cause. He will make a fine king, indeed. I can say that without regrets - even if I thought I believe in my heart Anastasia-sama is the ideal one to rule, I can concede, that he has shown resolve worthy of taking her place, should it ultimately come to that."

Shaula enjoyed herself, mingling with the peasants. She was very popular, however, she did not call herself, "The Sage", she merely introduced herself as "Shaula". She ranted about many inane things, becoming quite perverse and vulgar under the influence of alcohol. Beatrice had a chastizing look directed at her, but Meili told the drill-haired loli to back off. 

"Don't you think he'd wa~nt you all to relax and pla~y? We got out of that death trap a~live and nobody di~ed."

"Mm. I suppose."

Meili had nearly killed her contractor, but Subaru had vouched for her; that faith was not entirely misplaced, as the girl was precocious and sharp. In a way, Beatrice could vaguely see how Subaru could overlook her faults. She was just a child and he was skilled with them, she supposed. It didn't mean she had to like this arrangement, however.

Beatrice reached out and touched the stuffed panda clutched in Meili's chest, "When this is all over, do you suppose Subaru will be a king or a seamstress?"

The girl shook her head, "Doesn't matter, he'll still just be a big dum~my." She grinned, "If you're worried about him, I think you should ke~ep him far away from naked onee-san~"

"I didn't say I was, in-fact." Beatrice glared at her, but suddenly her expression softened, "You know, you don't have to sound so insincere, I suppose."

If Subaru had been there, he would have never let her live down that remark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rough copy. I still need to clean up some detail here later when the story is completed.
> 
> I was really tempted to use "cintra" instead of citron, but I actually want the reader to be able to know what the heckin' kinda fruit I was talking about. An appa would've worked, maybe for the memes of suggesting our Great Dragon really is an appa vendor, but... I couldn't do that either.


	2. The Oath

At the inn they had hastily settled into, night continued its course. The moon rose higher. Stars illuminated the sky.

Of all those in Subaru-camp, Rem was the only one who did not try to avert her eyes. In her mind, she was still carrying Subaru down from that shaking tower. She was caught up in so many gnarly weeds of feeling, wondering what might happen next. Had they truly escaped unscathed? There had always been unlucky complications; the stars never aligned for her or her sister.

Rem fretted and fretted, but remained largely quiet. Emilia came to peek on her throughout the night. They were both there when Subaru stirred during the moon's apex. Rem scurried about, touching his forehead and bringing her hand back to her own. She noticed he was developing a small fever.

As he stirred, Subaru was speaking incoherently to himself about "next time he'll...". So many jumbled words about phone calls and unexcused absences, about mayonnaise and instant ramen. Rem could not construct in her mind a feasible story to go along with any of it, but she wasn't bothered by that.

Subaru's entire life story was a mystery to her. He had such soft hands, such a kind gaze, and yet she was so athletic. He was entirely ignorant of the world, unable to read and write, yet he showed just enough wisdom that even her Nee-sama had noticed he was not slow. Subaru was far from a perfect person, he was utterly ordinary in many respects, which made his position in all this so curious.

She wasn't worried. She knew that one day, it would all make sense to her.

Rem stayed by his side, changing washcloths to soothe the heat and still quite curious about what night-delusions he might be having (she was hoping they were not nightmares, or instead might just be about her). They were entertaining or concerning enough to keep her energized and awake. So when the already late hour was pushing on deeper and deeper and others began insisting again to take watch, Rem could easily find the words to turn them all away.

"Rem, please allow your Nee-sama to watch in your stead for just a while. You need to rest."

"It's not like Rem's doing anything that'd make me tired, Nee-sama."

In the crowded hallway just out of view, Emilia cracked a groggy giggle at that. It sounded very familiar to her. But those good feelings were fleeting. Emilia got very little sleep that night also, it showed in her bloodshot eyes the next day.

In the morning, they resolved to move on instead of lingering. Rem did have protest briefly, thinking more rest might help Subaru, but she was incredibly eager to get far away from the tower, as well. Ram had already caught her up to speed on the likes of Elsa and other assassins that had targeted their group thus far, so she really wanted to get back home as soon as possible.

"We'll need to get everything ready for travel," Rem said, a little rust and fatigue in her voice.

"I can help with that." Emilia was determined to volunteer.

Everybody wanted to help. Everybody wanted to rest. Nobody wanted anybody to do work. These were all tenants that were untenable. Naturally, getting home in a speedy manner would require sacrifice. Julius went to gather supplies. Beatrice had to watch Meili, even though there was only a little doubt she might try to flee. Anastasia was not physically fit for much work, though she was seeing to negotiations with the town's chief.

Someone had to go to the stables to actually prepare their vessel for travel. Upon arriving, it was apparent what the shadows of night had masked: the wagon looked utterly derelict and unfit for journeying anywhere, but Patrasche was rested after one night. She was again looking the strongest of all of them. She roared at their greeting, even shocking Rem, who was finally forced out of Subaru's room by her sister. The sight of the ground dragon made Rem think it was maybe possible for them to go home, Patrasche was strong enough to carry all of them on her back, maybe.

"Patrasche is a remarkable girl," she murmured, stroking the dragons cheek.

They were preparing to load Subaru back onto the wagon. And for that they needed his ground dragon's cooperation.

"Yes," Emilia observed too. She was alone with Rem in the stables, "Rem... I'm sorry you didn't get any sleep. So let me help you with that."

Although she was strong, the demon girl was not-so-subtly wavering. She was not indomintable in the face of fatigue. Emilia watched her knees bend and quake and twitch, her back straining with cords of pain shooting through her. The half-elf was quick to embrace her, to steady her, to hold her by the shoulders and whisper gentle things to her. Rem watched and gathered herself, as Emilia got out empty buckets and ran out back.

She returned a minute later, looking quite spry and strong despite her apparent softness. Emilia had fetched some water and helped her scrub down Patrasche, removing irritating sand from under her scales and cleaning out her saddles.

"Thank you, Emilia-san. You are a good friend."

The half-elf merely smiled reluctantly. Rem could not puzzle it, but didn't peer deeper.

They enjoyed a peace together, but both were burdened by their obvious troubles. A certain unease still floated between them, but it was one Emilia was determined to part with. She finally spoke up.

Emilia said, "You know, although she's strong, Patrasche is quite good at hiding her exhaustion. It was good we stopped here, I actually think she would have injured herself if she pushed herself anymore for us." 

Rem brushed the steed's face as she empathized with that hidden strain, "We're sorry," she mumbled in agreement, "We were in such a hurry to leave. And I was selfishly thinking only about Subaru-sama." She patted Patrasche, "But you need to speak up more, Patrasche-san." The ground dragon roared in agreement.

Emilia had a distant look, just thinking about what all Rem had said, "You know... when Subaru found out what had happened to you, he was so distraught... but he tried just as hard to hide it from me, just how much he had been hurt." A small smile, "But he's less able to hide things from me now."

"That sounds like him. I'm sorry if I caused you undue worry, too."

"No. I don't want any apologies Rem. We all worked hard to bring you back and we're glad you're finally with us again." She chirped a giggle, "I had no idea, all along, he..." she shook her head, "He worked soo hard for this. He faced soo much. Yet. I just wanted to see him when he was finally relieved of all that. I still remember that look on his face... I just want to see him when he sees your smile." 

Subaru had done everything in his power to stand at her back. To keep her moving forward. After saving her life on multiple occasions, after standing by her faithfully for so long; even if his methods were so unclear to her at the best of times, she wanted nothing more than for Subaru to stop looking so determined. She wanted to see the face of that boy who had been so carefree as to put a crown of flowers on her head.

They finished washing Patrasche and resaddled her, releasing her from her post and checking her over.

"Don't you think it's strange? When we first met, I thought he was sooo strange, he did sooo much for me, but all he wanted was to learn my name? I couldn't understand it. And when he started working at the mansion, I was a little let down by his actual ability, because of the way he acted, I expected sooo much more of him. But all along, he was actually capable of...this. Don't you think that's strange?" she shook her head, "I feel like I was just totally wrong about how I did everything."

That was the nostalgic feeling in her. The worst sort of nostalgia - seeing a squandered past. She had been greedy, failing to appreciate the little things about life at the Mathers estate; doing "radio calisthenics" in the morning, making mayonnaise at lunch, and studying into the night (though she had been often interrupted by Ram, Rem, Petra, Frederica or Subaru).

"Subaru-sama is really special, Emila-san." Rem wished she could say more, but she had no memories of Emilia of back then, "But that very much sounds like him. I could not believe the sort of person that he was, I had a very negative first impression." She giggled, "I didn't think much of him when we first met, especially for a Dragon Maiden candidate. But..."

Hiding her face, trying to stay strong, Emilia clenched her fists. And then she stopped.

"A... Dragon Maiden c..candidate?"

Rem nodded, "Yes. Of course. Did he not tell you Emilia-san? I could maybe see why, it's a little embarrassing..."

Emilia had been so ready to burst forward with her dramatic soliloquy about Subaru but --

"About a year ago, is when I met Subaru-sama." Rem sparkled, "He had found a royal insignia proving his legitimacy, but he had been attacked by a dangerous assassin, Elsa the Guthunter. He got wounded protecting Felt-sama, who had also been there. Because she too was found out to be a candidate, Roswaal-sama offered to heal him in exchange for a favor from her. It was a very shrewd move! I'm not sure how he got involved with it though," she hummed, "It was only after Subaru-sama arrived at Roswaal's estate and I went to change his clothes that...ah...we learned he was not actually a girl," Rem giggled, "I am still wondering to this day if he will ever explain to me why he was crossdressing in the capital. I can only imagine it was because he was running away from his former life, but part of me is a little worried it was for some other reason..."

"Cross...dressing?" Emilia blinked, then recalled what Petra had been telling her about...Otto and...Garfiel...the three of them 'wearing girl's clothes' and doing strange things. Was this also part of that...? "I'm sooo confused."

Rem patted Emilia on the shoulder. "If he didn't tell you about that, then I'm sure he didn't tell you about the fool he made of himself at the last gathering. When he's trying to act like a girl, Subaru-sama can do an adequate job, but he slips very easily. He challenged Julius-san to a fight and... the whole kingdom found out he's not actually a girl..." Rem shook her head, "In a way, I think it worked out for Subaru-sama. He learned a little humility and now we don't have to make him dress up when he goes to meet the other candidates."

"Subaru is...a candidate?" Emilia was reeling, "But, that's impossible. He's not a girl. Is he?"

Rem blushed, "Of course Subaru-sama's not a girl. But, the Dragon Stone is not entirely rigid in what it calls a 'girl', I think Ferris could qualify? I think it's looking for some emotional part of you, some part of you that's pure and noble and good... that's what I think. You know, because most men have to taint themselves to provide or to be strong for others, but Subaru has always had such soft hands. That's what I think, anyway. Only the dragon would really know, I guess."

Emilia looked so lost.

"I'm sorry, maybe I should have let Subaru-sama talk to you on his own time," Rem stroked her cheek.

"No, it's okay, I just. Now everything is really messed up, I'm realizing. I really, really messed up. I'm in sooo much trouble, I don't even know if there's any way to fix this?"

Rem shook her head, "I think there's always a way to make things right. It's easy to give up. I know in the face of things that's hard to admit, but you have to keep trying, Emilia-san, whatever problems block your way, you can count on me to help you."

"But, you don't really know me, Rem-"

"You're Subaru-sama's precious...friend," Rem winked, "So of course I'll help you. You're important to him. So that makes you important to me, too."

Emilia sagged, looking properly chastized, "H-how am I being lectured like this? I... I feel soooo strange."

Rem pressed her forehead to Emilia's, "We didn't really get much sleep. So maybe we should just focus on doing simpler things until we challenge the harder stuff?"

"N...no. No, I need to talk to you about this Rem. You're really close to Subaru. There are a lot of things about him that I don't understand and I'm worried if I don't understand... what if I make another terrible mistake." Although she could not make any direct connections, the way the dragon had regarded her as so calamitous, had spit on her with such utter loathing, she could only imagine what kind of an Elior Forest-like disaster she might create through misunderstandings.

Her heart sinking, Emilia stood steadfast, clutching Rem's hand, she looked chillingly into the maid's cyclops' eye.

"You can make mistake after mistake, but you'll be forgiven by everyone here, as long as you're trying your best and never give up," Rem said simply, "It's nothing to be worried about."

"I know that, but there are some mistakes that even if you're forgiven for, can never bring things back to normal."

Rem nodded, "Emilia...you're a half-elf, so I can only imagine what you've endured." She nodded with sympathy, "I can tell why you're Subaru's friend. You have exactly the same attitude."

"I, uh, do? I mean, we have a few things in common, I suppose, but I can't say I honestly measure up."

"Rem thinks you're being too hard on yourself. Subaru-sama has the same problem."

"Yeah he does, doesn't he?" Emilia sighed, her voice contorting, "Then, can you explain what happened back there? How come he's the one who's hurt... I-- he was counting on me and I-- not only did I do nothing to help, but I was late. And-- I know he got hurt because I only got in the way." She shook, "I'm just relieved he's not dead."

Rem knew to what she was speaking of, of course. Fighting Reid, challenging Shaula and the archbishops; Subaru had somehow come to be the one with the injuries others were meant to bare.

Reacting purely to the hurt in that voice, Rem suddenly embraced Emilia. She was shivering, but she was the one to push Emilia's head down into her breast, "Shh. Emilia-san. It's not your fault. S...somehow, it happened like that."

"S..Subaru can't use magic without Beatrice-- he can't do anything special-- he's so ordinary it's-- so why, all of a sudden, when Ram fell, when she got back up, could *he* not stand up straight?"

"Emilia-san..."

"Is it true Subaru smells different to you, Rem?"

She looked uncomfortable, her voice was delicately balanced between comfort and despair, "If you heard of that, then.."

Emilia could read the wariness in her voice and proceeded without pushing too hard, "Rem, please don't say anything. But, when I spoke to the dragon." She gave Rem a meaningful look, "What he told me...something is very wrong, and-" 

Rem shook her head and closed the distance to stroke the half-elf's back, silencing her with a finger. She had guessed something bad had transpired at the top of the tower, "We'll sort this all out later. Roswaal-sama -- and Beatrice-sama -- both of them will surely, once Subaru wakes up -- he'll tell us I'm sure what he knows. If we work together -- We'll figure this out together. Subaru-sama- he's always had a few secrets he could never trust us with, so- with everyone together, if all come together, I know he'll do the right thing and we'll come up with-"

"Has he told you anything, Rem? I've always understood... Roswaal doesn't trust me. I've always respected that. I don't need to know everything to play my part. But with the way-- with the way things are looking-- Subaru is going to be hurt. And it will be my fault. I have to take responsibility. So, is there anything you haven't told me you think I should know?"

"About those occult sorts of happenings, do you mean? I'm afraid, even if there was, I wouldn't remember what I have and haven't told you, Emilia-san."

She winced, the half-elf crushed by her own rampant self-centeredness. She was clearly disoriented by it all. The world was closing in on her, slowly.

"No, I know that, I understand, but..." she trailed off. "I know Subaru has his secrets, but I thought maybe you might know? It's not that he doesn't trust me, but I know he maybe treasures my opinion too much, Rem." She smiled a little wistfully, "But it's not like I-- we can't tell. He's honestly so bad at hiding things I feel like I have to just brush it all aside in the moment! But it's not like I can stop asking myself: But why he would go this far for me? But why would he say such a thing? When we first met, it felt like I'd actually known him. He wasn't that hard to get along with?" Emilia wiped her eyes, "Pushing and pushing, he was always pushing his own thoughts onto me, even at the very onset of it all. Yet, in spite of all that pushing, I feel like we're further apart than we ever have been." 

Rem was patiently listening to this tearful tirade. Emilia felt so closed up and selfish, like she was truly alone. Yet Rem was being so patient with her, listening and listening. But wasn't that her job? No, not in this instant. Right now, she wasn't Rem's benefactor, but merely a stranger. Was her heart just that open, to carry more burdens on top of her own? Emilia was sick. Sick for understanding. She understood none of it.

"Subaru-sama has a lot to answer for," Rem agreed, "But I know in my heart patience is the answer." She said, "It took me years to come out of my shell, from that fateful night, when my entire life burned up." Rem said, "If you need someone to listen, I'll be there for you Emilia-san."

"I don't want to burden you with my aimless worries or my bad dreams, Rem. S...so I'll just ask you...stupidly: Subaru was one of the only people to remember you Rem. Would you have any idea why?"

"I know in my heart, it's because Subaru-sama is special." Rem said, those words especially said, "The good rising with the bad, together."

"I never tried to ask him how, or why, not really, I just assumed it was because he was close to you, but it's not like Ram remembered," she looked away, "Is it really okay to believe Subaru is simply special?"

"Everything will work itself out. His good parts are..." She smiled, "I...I'm back. Subaru saved me, again. So now, we just have to work extra hard to save him, too." She squeezed Emilia, "We'll save you too, Emilia-san. I'm sure I will remember soon." She hesitated.

"Save him." She clouded, "But...what if he can't be saved?"

"Emilia-san, we can save him."

"But...what if he's connected to something that's too..."

"We can save him, Emilia-san."

"What if I'm the reason that he's..."

"I was the reason Subaru-sama suffered so." She smiled, "But I know he would never want me to push him away, for just his sake."

Emilia shook her head, truly beginning to ramble and tumble, "But I can never give him anything back in return? He's constantly doing things for me and expecting nothing... He's always thinking certain things through like that - or he's just going off and charging into trouble without thinking - but you know he's never sharing his ideas. He doesn't lie, but Subaru doesn't tell the truth either! I trust him! And I know he trusts me to handle things too, but-- he wouldn't ever ask me to sacrifice a hair on my head for his sake..."

"That's just who Subaru-sama is."

"He's...just the sort of person who would waste his entire life for me..."

"That's just who he is, Emilia-san."

"I..." Emilia released a sighful.

/~We'll just catch everyone when they fall, we'll soar and we'll lift up everyone at once!~/

She had said those words so clearly, with so much blind faith. But what was it based on but bruteful ignorance? She had an inkling of why Echidna had been so preturbed with her answers. And yet, she had to stick with that answer even now, didn't she? How could she turn back on herself after something like this.

"No matter what," Rem found the half-elf's hand, lacing her fingers tight, "We'll save Subaru-sama. Together. Okay?"

Blushing, Emilia fidgeted. She trembled, searching herself for an answer to that pledge. They had been such easy words, before. She could not just allow herself to yield to Rem's faith. She needed her own--

Rem calmly spoke, encanting her voice and stepping in closer, "There is something Rem probably has not told you, Emilia-san." She beamed, "I'm sure I wouldn't have told anyone...the story about how Subaru-sama almost ran away with me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rough copy, I will clean it up after I finish the story. I actually want to finish this thing and not get bogged down in cleaning up some of the detail work.
> 
> Made a mistake by having Rem use -kun for Subaru. Little details like these ugh.


	3. Woman of Dream

Anastasia lingered in the early morning hours. Her fingers toyed with Echidna's mane. Julius tended to her needs in the barren room of the inn. He admired Anastasia's resolve, not many merchants or nobles would put up with these stifling conditions. The air was dry and remarkably unpleasant. Had she not already endured so much time in the tower, Julius was concerned she might be threatened by heatstroke. 

"The heat can cause swelling of the feet and a lack of apetite."

"I don't've any of those, Julius." She was smiling, "'M just a little sore, s'all, and I just want t'relax. I'm just glad t'have my body back. You don't understand what it was like, t'be trapped inside the shell of yourself. Worse than bein' stuck in a closet with no way out." She made a face, "Or an outhouse. Eugh."

Scarfdona piped up, "It is understandable you would still be exhausted or even a little woozy, but be sure to report any symptoms of ill health, Ana." She did sound somewhat apologetic, even going far enough to overlook being compared to an outhouse, "If I had known..."

"S'fine, I don't 'grudge you for it." She patted her, "Though your imitation o' me at times t'was just a little crude."

Echidna made something of a yip or a giggle.

Julius smiled at the friendly cadence in their tone. Although Julius had not been privy to this relationship, he still wished Anastasia hadn't felt the need to hide it from him, even with their estranged state.

"That's a little hypocritical coming from you, Echidna." Julius shook his head, "How long did it take for me to discover you were possessing Anastasia-sama? You should have come forward instead of thinking I would doubt you."

Ana chuckled, patting the guilty 'scarf' resting in her lap, "It's fine. It's all fine now. Let's just look past those trifles and go back." She looked at her feet, "Though, we can't go back until we convince Natsuki-dono to return your name Julius."

The knight looked skeptical, "But if doing that puts him in the current state he's in, I'm not sure I'd have the conscience to even ask."

"Let's worry about that after he awakens. Don't let your sense of duty override the importance of your own history, to youreslf or to everyone else. It's not a good trade to walk away, just because we don't want to inconvenience Natsuki-dono. He's still our rival, you know? He's a good boy, so I don't mind gettin' indebtted to him either. He's not the sort of shark to screw us over." Anastasia nodded, recounting how he had stormed in after making such a fool of himself, yet delivering on the bounty of the White Whale. "It's actually a good investment, t'make him think we owe him. He'll want to cash that in at some point. And that's when you hit em' with a deal they think they came up with~"

\---

Still in the stables, time passed by with an awkward rhythm. Rem and Emilia shifted from cleaning to drying Patrasche. Rem had said a lot of kind things to her, but the opening of their hearts had also made things a little awkward. Emilia was unsure how to return things back to an amicable tone. 

But Patrasche saved the day on that. When they were wrapping up, Patrasche suddenly lifted her head from below. Emilia wailed in surprised as she and Rem were scooped up, sliding down that strong trunk of neck, they both mounted her together. They both giggled, the ground dragon practically treating them like royalty as she strutted out into the light.

"Patrasche-san seems to be eager to get moving..." Rem cheered, "What do you say Emilia-san?"

Emilia smiled as they exited the stables. Although she did not have an answer yet to Rem's assertions, she knew she couldn't just go back on her earlier promises; she had to keep trying. Rem's words weren't enough to seal away her doubts, but they bolstered her faltering optimism. 

Rem had given such a heartfelt story. Emilia was still ruminating on the fact Subaru had tried to run away from them. This whole time, she'd never considered he might have such a moment of self-doubt. Everyone was doing their best right now, but that didn't mean they didn't also have moments of weakness, either. If Rem hadn't been there to stand Subaru back up, what might have happened to them all? It was thanks to the both of them the catastrophe at the mansion had been averted back then.

The dusty, dry town looked flimsy, like another dust storm might topple it over. Patrasche took strong steps across its worn road around to the front of the inn. As they came to a stop in front of their covered wagon, Ram was there with a most grave expression. A chill shot through the girls, because Ram rarely looked so grave.

"He's gone."

"Gone? What do you mean he's gone?"

"Barusu is not in his bed."

Not even did those words leave Ram's mouth before Rem went flying into action. Emilia drew everyone into the inn with a flare of magic. They searched the town for him, turning over every rock and interrogating every villager. The village was nearly emaciated and nearly submerged in dust and sand; it was one of the poorest the group had traveled to together, so there were not many places to hide. Only the most stubborn and hardy sorts of people lived out this far from civilization.

But they did have one clue.

"Shaula. Where is she?"

\---

The town was a large gray and brown blob in the distance.

Shaula squatted down in her short shorts. Subaru was scalding hot to the touch, but mostly 'cause he had been straddling her neck, riding on her back and baking in the sun. Shaula was at least fast enough to get away before he would sunburn, but it wasn't ideal for someone who already had a fever.

"There's a trick to dealing with fevers that Master taught me~" Shaula pried the shaking boy off her back and ...

Dropped him into the water. He sank deep, dropping like lead. But because Subaru was too weak to struggle or fight, he actually bobbed back up to the surface of the oasis.

"Okay Google! Huma!" Shaula pressed her hand into the pool, causing it to shiver and streak over with a thin coating of murky ice. 

Although Subaru didn't awaken, he did flinch, his body convulsing, arms wrapping around him in a tight seize. Before Shaula could actually freeze him to death, she lifted him out of the water and dried him off.

"It's been a long time since I got to help anyone like this, Master." Shaula said gently, wiping his cheek. "But a good cold boot's the best way to restart the body!" Shaula giggled excitedly, "I'm hel~ping!"

\---

"Tch, I knew we shouldn't have trusted her, in-fact," Beatrice floated outside, "I will check the perimeter for her. Be patient."

Everyone was bottled up and ready to detonate, especially when Beatrice and Julius did not return right away. Thankfully, Shaula had not gone very far. Beatrice found her bathing Subaru in a small oasis of water, the boy totally unclothed and dripping wet. The girl had apparently subjected Subaru to repeated dunkings. Surely, the cold shock should have made him awaken, but he was still so deep in sleep he did not.

She was given a severe scolding. Rem was especially agitated by it. They returned to the inn. Nobody was happy to have their already high tensions strained by Shaula's whimsy.

"Please don't ever do that again, Shaula-san," Rem poked her gently in the stomach, quietly agonizing over the fact she had left Subaru's side for just a moment, that this would happen!

"I'm really, really sorry~ But he was really sweaty and musky and there wasn't any water left to give him a bath, so! So!"

Ram apologized to her sister, "I should not have asked you to go with Emilia-san. Please forgive your blundering sister for her lack of vigilance. Even a task as simple as this, I cannot do right."

"Everything is fine, Nee-sama. Shaula-san would not really hurt him, Rem can tell. You don't need to apologize. Everything turned out okay. Look, Subaru's even breathing more soundly."

Shaula teared up at Rem's words, "Master! You have so many good disciples! I'm jealous."

"She is a little incosiderate, but perhaps she could be instilled with a little discipline back at the manor."

Rem giggled with a weariness creeping into her most subtle of features; just too relieved to see Subaru was okay and happy to wear a facade of calm, but she was now on the verge of exhaustion, too.

They checked Subaru over again and clothed him again. Rem couldn't believe how different he looked in something other than his usual "armor". Ram had said he hadn't come to the tower with it, since the heat would have been too hard to endure with it on.

To Rem's relief, his fever was gone now. Ram wondered aloud: Was that just a coincidence? Or were Shaula's instincts just that timely? "I don't know. But anything is possible, Nee-sama."

Unbeknownst to them, Subaru could not be shaken from his sleep simply because of an old interloper. 

\---

"Ah, welcome back."

Subaru rubbed his eyes, a sea of green endlessly sprawling into blue skies. A nostalgic and familiar sight, standing in the middle of a meadow of flowers, he witnessed a loose wind as it dragged its fingers through waves of chroma, ruffling blooms and blowing a cloud of black across long-boned legs. Those white, bushy eyebrows - like caterpillars ready to cocoon - stared down at him. She was offering one hand, the other steadied on her knee. It was a radiant and picturesque moment captured beautifully through the grass' fuzzy spectacles.

Subaru didn't take that hand. He pulled himself up with a grunt.

"When a pretty girl offers you her hand, do you always refuse it? Or is it just mine?"

"Have you been standing there holding that pose this entire time? Waiting for me to wake up? You're a really badly scripted NPC, Echidna."

"It's of course not that been that long. You of all people, don't tease me. You know what it does to my heart."

Subaru breathed a sigh. He scanned the billowing grasses. A hypnotic moment of calmness overwhelming, his eyes searched and searched for anything of interest, but all he could find was a facsimile of life; green emptiness. There wasn't even a table and chairs set up for them to sit down at this time. He wondered what was going on. 

"What am I doing back here again? I'm not in Sanctuary. I vowed to never return to this place. Besides, XP has been deprecated for security patches for at least four years now," he sighed, adding under his breath, "-you know, I don't want any viruses in my skull, so would it kill you to finally update?" 

Echidna just smiled a long worm of a smile, "Hmmm? You sound so displeased."

"While I didn't want to return here, I didn't think I even could if I wanted to - the magic around that trial is all used up. You shouldn't be here. I can't be here. Unless you're telling me the tower is somehow connected? Did I die again? Go insane? What gives, Echidna. This is really lame."

Echidna turned a half quarter, angling a flattering side toward him. Subaru resisted the urge to blush, reminding himself Echidna was dangerous, for all her intentional wiles. She had won his heart, charmed it utterly; only to betray his myopic trust like it meant nothing.

"You are obviously no longer in the Pleiades Tower. Recall when you drank my tea so liberally, do you think I would really let you go without leaving at least some small part of me inside you? Giving you at trial, strengthening a witch factor, seeking a contractor; do you think my motives would stop there? Do you think I would not plan for a time like this? You were a most fascinating conversationalist, I wanted to shore up my investment in your protection, of course. I could not simply let you go as I so seemingly did. I am not a generous witch, even to one such as you."

He said nothing in reply, not even lifting a brow. That made Echidna slant and slump, her candor and cadence deterred by such a simple indifference.

"What? What did I say?" Echidna pouted, "Are you mad at me, still? About the contract? Or is it 『The Witch of Envy』? Did her parting words sway you so? Or do you just not like that I left a piece of me behind? Do you really value your privacy so much? Do you think my continual peeping is a problem? You know, I don't even need to do this extreme a thing to simply *watch*. Hmph. This isn't the reaction I was expecting. You're not really mad, are you? You seem totally disinterested in what I have to say, in-fact."

Subaru just shook his head, "No, it's not that, I'm just disappointed you already launched into- uh-"

"Soliloquy?"

"Is that even a word?"

She chuckled, "Yes. It's a lovely word, in-fact. It should be used more often."

"It's got a lovely sound to it, maybe I should make that your nickname."

"As『The Witch of Greed』, I believe I have a sufficiently impractical alias. But I will accept a pet-name from you. Echidna-tan, perhaps?"

He shook his head. "Only does Emilia get that special access sort of VIP treatment," then Subaru scoffed, "Okay, so, I've kind of had it with you Echidna. Hasn't it been more than a whole year? And now you decide to show your face? And to get back to what you said - please don't use the phrase 'inside you', I already feel quite violated. Thank you."

Finally, she smiled so happily at that. This was what she was after, "It has been too long since we last spoke, but I couldn't very well manifest right away. I didn't want to use this moment up as soon as it was secured! I just wanted to wait for an opportune time, or maybe, perhaps, I simply wanted to watch you from afar for as long as I could, as intimately as I could. You are so interesting, that just chance to intervene makes me writhe~ Even after everything that has already transpired~ Even if we could not form a contract, there's so much I wanted to see. You were such an interesting and (largely) a very hospitable guest. I don't get to call many others my 'friends', so can you fault a lonely girl for pining after you like this?" She seemed so spry, so easy to cheer up just by showing the vaguest of interest in her, "'Fault' is a good word. Do you find this witch too faulty?"

Subaru endured one more familiar speech by Echidna. 『The Witch of Greed』 delighted in speaking her heart, running her mouth for as long as she could; totally and without regard for others, in-fact. She seemed incapable of empathizing, like an old grandfather who wanted to tell you about how he walked for kilometers in the snow, or how he fought overseas and disliked the "new" way they did radio calisthenics, or how he had worked *so* hard to provide for your parents and--

Echidna was old and worn-out like that; clinging to herself and refusing to indulge in the moment, to partake in the beautiful dalliance that she so readily immersed herself in. In some ways, he could empathize with that. He had always pined after regrets and lectured after himself, running forward as hard as he could. Echidna seemed even more pitiable than that however, because there was no one to forgive her, to say to her, "I will accept that failing of yours, Echidna." And even in her rest, she held that unyielding obsession for knowledge and refused to let her existence be erased by death.

"I think I gave you a one star review when I left, you know." He tried not to sound hurt or angry, it would only just please her, "I thanked you for what things you did for me, things that I can never repay you for; but you also went too far, you also overstepped your bounds. There are some things you're not to just supposed to forgive. Betrayal is one of them."

Echidna nodded, "Betrayal, yes, I know the feeling well. I suppose you feel scorned. Do you recoil at the sight of me? Do you want to scream? If you will cry, I will allow you to rest your head in my lap."

"That you deliberately abuse my memories and my woe to try to instigate a wild swing in my chest, it really suits you, you know."

Echidna almost seemed to *giggle*, though it never quite got to actual palpatations of the chest. She smiled so wide, "So you do hate me."

He took a breath and a long look. His eyes turned away.

"You know, even after everything you did and tried to do to me, I still feel sorry for you. Maybe it's just because you're hot." Subaru said it so flippantly, he was clearly easily amused by being able to call a feared and infamous witch hot to her face. In her territory Subaru felt invincible, like no harm would ever actually befall him. This was of course, a rare thing for him. Maybe it was a foolish thing for him - but something told him he could trust Echidna to not lash out like a nightmare. He wondered why.

Of course, there had been times he would rather not recall (such as the time Daphne caused him to eat his own hand off the stump of his arm), but Echidna had protected him from that. He knew he could not trust her, but in spite of that he still did for some things. For whatever reason, it felt wrong to view this antagonist as a foe. She was simply Other.

"My, you are still so skilled at making a girl's heart flutter. Have you even improved? Just who have you been practicing with, I wonder."

"I wish I had time for something like that. No, my charms have only gotten worse. If my current standing with Emilia-tan is any indication, then I only have a talent for teasing the girls I have absolutely no interest in at best." He sighed -- he could not make Rem anything but smile so innocently (because she saw right through his facade, knowing oh so well what a fake he was when it came to romance); Emilia was also a lost cause in a related regard. But Echidna? Apparently he could tease her to pieces. But maybe he was giving himself too much credit, maybe she was just an easy girl to fluster.

"So let's get this over with. What are you here for? You know I'm busy with too much shit, right? You've seen my everything by now. In-fact, you've been watching since it all started. And you'll never stop, I imagine. You know what I've been fighting for. Where I'm going, why I'll stop and why I'll press on - is it really so interesting? I need to wake up right now, even if you're going to tell me time's standing still, I can't just lounge around indulging you. I need to save Rem, Emilia too, you know; everybody. Your selfish whims don't mean a damn thing to me. You're just a damn ghost."

She stopped him, "Yes. It is. It is really so interesting. Every morsel. Every cuticle~ I can see why 『The Witch of Envy』is so greedy when it comes to you. I really have no regrets, even in using her own language in this vein. Do not underestimate how much praise I am heaping onto you with those words, for I would love nothing more than to differ from that thing. But when it comes to you? It is apt. I desire you. I cherish you. You, an anomaly in my heart."

She walked closer and corrected his posture with one hand, other fingers brushing his jaw, scraping up. Subaru did not flinch. He met her gaze, folding his arms over his chest. She was smiling so smugly with her lips thinning, coiling.

"You are too diligent. What is the rush? As you said: Time has no meaning inside your own dreams. We could linger here like lovers for eternity."

"I have no idea why you think I would want to spend eternity with you." He laughed, "You'd get sick of me real quick, at any rate," he brushed off her confession just like that. He had no love note to give her, "I won't be that interesting forever. I'm pretty easy to figure out. But if you want to bring Emi-"

"Sorry to interrupt. Mmm. It is true, nothing sustains my interest for very long. How utterly mysterious, that. But so far, you have remained interesting. Is it wrong for me to continue seeking it? I want you. There: I said it. I've decided, I want you, even if I must compromise a little. Is that wrong of me to say? Of course not, so I'll say it just one more time: I want you."

"No, it's not wrong. I even appreciate such honest words. I wish you'd just come out and said it back then. I think it's amazing, actually. I'd like to think, if things were different, that we could simply be friends?" he shook his head while hiding a sly smile, "I'd much rather hear Emilia confess to me like you have, but hearing a confession from anyone is still nice, you know?" Subaru had a really complicated expression; having your memory wiped and then spoon fed back into you piece by piece would do that to someone, "Is it weird to want to be friends with a witch? Even one as toxic as you, Echidna? I don't know, but I think you're almost my type." He paused, to wonder if he had changed, or if 『Returning』 over and over had made him go insane. If it had, he couldn't be the judge, "You're the sort of girl I wouldn't have minded scolding me for showing up late to class again, or the sort of girl I wouldn't mind turning me down when I ask her out, or the sort of girl who would walk home with me, just because she finds me interesting." He could rattle on like Echidna, blathering about what-ifs, if only just to enjoy the nostalgia of Japan with her, "I do think it's wrong to not appreciate what you already have in spades, but if my hunch is right-- and to be honest: we've made plenty of memories already. Those of which I'm still grateful for, but anyway, I also know you're planning something, living it large; there's no way you wouldn't be. I will see you again soon enough, so I'm not so worried. Yeah, we'll see each other again. Am I wrong?"

"Oh, I wouldn't know. If the rest of me is doing anything in particular, I would not learn of it. I am cut off and separate. Though I'm sure I did have many plans when I split off from the progenitor, the Omega."

He nodded, still shaking off memories of Japan. He wasn't really listening too closely. Whatever she just said, she was probably lying in her own way. Echidna could know anything she wanted to, if she was willing to look at her book.

"For now, is what you're saying. Or what you want me to believe. But in either case, I'm not really all that interested in what you have to say. I know talking to you is a twisted endeavor that reaps nothing but misery for me. It's because you're always thinking of tomorrow - that's what I think. How about right now, Echidna?"

"You are never truly interested in what I have to offer, it's quite infuriating. I am『The Witch of Greed』, yet you never seem to spare more than the minimum for me. It almost worked in my favor, when you nearly walked into our contract with a blithe smile," She dismisses him, "But for everything else, it's annoying. I don't have the luxury to consider 『The Now』, when I must amply arrange my schedule for what awaits me."

"Is it that refreshing? No, of course not, your schedule is all freed up. Don't act like you've got a dozen girlfriends all monopolizing your time." Well, she did in some sense...

"Refreshing? As I've already said, I find it frustrating. It's unrelated to my desire to see you again. But it is something I don't mind exploring with you-"

"Seems kind of pointless. I take it you're just a fragment. When you die, isn't that it?"

"When this dream of ours ends, perhaps I will reunite and share the knowledge of this meeting with myself? Is that what you *really* think?"

"I wouldn't put it past you. I didn't think you could do this. But you somehow are. So there must be some catch, is what I think."

"Haaa? You're not wrong to think so. Seeing as you travel with another aspect of myself, one that will someday assuredly rejoin the rest of my scattered sprouts - you're not wrong. Yes, you've correctly seen through me and realized I am in-fact a world-class schemer. You're not wrong to think I would be so conniving, so careful, and so very thorough to make sure I become aware of all things without fail. I want to experience everything, as I've no doubt told you now many times. You remember, don't you? You're sharp. You pay attention. I should be flattered by your care, I think? You've been thinking about me, 『The Witch of Greed』; Echidna. We've been apart, but you still spare thoughts for me. I'm touched. I'm flattered. Does it mean my plans are working? I think so. I'm elated because of the fine things you've said to me. Do you not see it in my smile? It wears me like a silver raiment. It is ever so charming and beautiful. No?"

"You're such a god damn pain." He brushed her away from him, taking a step back, "You're at least predictable in how you behave, Echidna. And you're not wrong, you should feel flattered. I don't have such a big heart I can care about everyone's problems. I'm unfortunately selfish like that. I regret to inform you both my hands are full - as well as my mouth. Maybe you'd fit on my shoulders, but..."

"And you are not so predictable, though in some ways I believe I understand how you think. But nor are you at all selfish, I am sure that many would describe you as selfless, at least in some narrow way~ So humble, it would almost be fitting of a king. And that image you conjure is delightful, would it really be so bad if I wrapped my legs around your throat~?"

"Stop praising me - And don't say weird stuff like that out loud! Emilia-tan might misunderstand! - I don't want any of what you're selling, so stop spamming me. And, of course you do. You wouldn't sound so insufferably smug all the time. You're honestly worse than all the Tutorial givers I had to deal with growing up. You just go on and on and on about nothing, expecting me to learn from you; you think you know how I'll play the game, you tell me how you want me to play it too, but then there's a little satisfaction when I break the rules and come out on top. Developers like you shouldn't be so conceited. Put a little more faith in the people who play your games. Tch!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but that's an interesting way of putting things." Echidna smiled and opened her mouth- "But about your shoulders-"

"Before you start running your mouth again about things you think I know about, or think I'm trying to *imply*. Just cut the crap. You're right that I have been thinking of you. There is something I've been meaning to ask you, Echidna. It's been eating me up, but don't take it to mean I have that many dying, unanswered questions for you. I only have so much time to think about 'what-ifs' or 'what-might've-beens'. You know my answer to your offer and it hasn't changed. And even if it did, it would never be worth sacrificing my Beako for. So what more is there to discuss? Why initiate this? No, don't answer any of that, I don't even need to know I think."

Echidna did smile radiantly, "That you cherish my daughter is at least of some significance to me~"

He didn't believe her, but he didn't know the extent to which Echidna truly 'felt'. Besides...

"If you cared so much for her, why did you condemn her to suffer for centuries? Just for the delight of 'knowing'?"

"I suppose my contract with her was not well-worded..."

"You never do anything half-assed Echidna, so if you think I'll believe you unintentionally flubbed something that important, then you either think I'm a fool, or you have less knowledge than I thought."

"..."

She maintained a placid smile, then spoke up, "As for your question - it's only fair that I let you go first, seeing as I'm going to be asking you some things as well."

"Deciding things on your own again. But if we have the time, maybe? I don't want to ask you anything, honestly. I'd rather keep you off balance than play into you like I was. I know I can't trust you and I'm in a hurry like usual, so I'll just get it off my chest," he surprised her by reaching back in, snatching her hand, pulling it up and twisting it onto his heart. Echidna felt it beat through that thin tracksuit that covered his soul. It was a strong rhythm. Underneath, she became aware of the broad physicality of his strength; Subaru kept himself in top form. He was constructed from many ambling buckles of muscle underneath that disheveling garb, "Echidna. I think about our conversations a lot, okay? I didn't expect to run into you like this, but I'm grateful you decided to show your face anyway. I was sure I would see you once more, like it or not. Ever since we parted, you had me worried. Some of the things you told me were simple in nature, but the whole time you kept me in the dark about a lot of important stuff, that in retrospect, I never asked you enough about. And after visiting the Pleiades Tower I have but one question."

Echidna was stupefied. Surely her brain was liquefied and putrefacted into gray goo. She stared and stared, a starry crimson glow bloomed onto each cheek. She felt his heart pound against her hand, looking utterly baffled. He had twisted in and out of his words, telling her he didn't care, but that he did, saying he wasn't curious, but then he was; Echidna was struggling to dance to this rhythm, it was far too scattered and jumbled like her smile.

"You're the smug-sounding one now." She finally smirked playfully, groping his breast, her thumb pressing on it with a teasing wrinkle - the ends of her long lips coiling tighter and tighter, "So enlightened. So *sagely*. I like it. I like this part of you. I want to see more of it. Lots more, in-fact."

He refused to be baited, just biting into his question: "Why do you never address me by my name, Echidna? Why have you never said the words Natsuki Subaru to my face? I can't think of a single time you've said my name. Not. Once. Is it that offensive of a name you won't say it? Is that it?"

Her thick brows shot up, that smile disappearing.

"Typhon, Minerva, Sekhmet-- so far, none of the witches showed any shyness in calling out my name, in some form or another. Except you. Except you, Echidna. What about my name do you find so disagreeable? You've never lied to me, but you also refrain from telling the truth." He stepped into her guard, being so brazen as to lean in so close, their lips nearly brushing past, "Why is that? What are you keeping from me?" he waved his hand, "You know, Beatrice used to be terrified about saying my name, too. Is it something that girlish? Is she so much like you?" 

She chuckled, "What an intimate closeness we now have. Am I so familiar to you now that I must call you by your name?"

Subaru awaited her answer, brushing her away and stepping back.

"I cannot answer your question, I'm afraid," she said simply, "But you are so sharp. You continue to become so praiseworthy. The dust is coming off you layer by layer, exposing such a prized specimen. I think I might have a crush on you, I'm afraid. Mmhmm, perhaps that could explain my nervousness when calling your name? Yes, like mother like daughter~" Echidna looked away, "I don't have a good grasp on how to feel right now. Will you give me a hint? Do you want to kiss me? Or am I supposed to kiss you?"

"You could feel some real damn honest remorse for once in your life."

Echidna darkened, "I am acquainted with that feeling, you know. Do not treat me so-"

"Do you care how anyone but yourself feels, 『Witch of Greed』?"

"Have we not spoken...about my nature? I am so sure it has come up, one way or another. I was born a witch. I have lived among witches. Men who approach me suffocate on their own vomit. Very few humans can actually converse with me. Do you expect me to be able to understand feeling, when my whole existence I have had to candidly speak with a quaint few? Would you expect a plain human girl to be able to understand human emotion, when they have only been raised among wolves? Among vampires and miserly spirits?"

"I'm sure you've observed enough people to have some idea." He shrugged, "And if Meili-chan can be a good girl, that means there's still hope for you yet."

A shrug and a nod, her entire tirade coming undone in a simple tug of a nod, "I see. How optimistic. Indeed. I have some ideas about it. But I do not feel the same way you feel. I am a witch. I will always be at a disadvantage when it comes to that. But when it comes to the procurement of knowledge, emotions get in the way. But perhaps I will acquire them, only once I have finished gathering all the rest of the knowledge. Perhaps it will give me some perspective on what I have learned, then. What do you think?"

Subaru refrained from commenting on something so radically inhuman. He couldn't tell if she was lying, but if she was telling the truth, he wanted to explain to her that you couldn't *choose* how you felt about things, no more than you could *choose* who you loved. He was sure, if an outsider looked at his life, they would criticize him for loving two girls or constantly crying like a baby - but he could no more change who he loved than he could who he hated. He simply did.

"Then let me ask you another question. I will never forget some of the things you said to me - when you had me broken, on the verge of total despair. You told me things no one else could. You said you would forgive me. You would acknowledge me. You would praise me - for doing things no one else could understand. That by being able to 『Return by Death』..." he trailed off.

"Yes?"

He shook his head, "Where did those words come from? Did you come up with them - from seeing my memories of Rem? Did you hear them from somewhere else? Are those your words, the words you came up with on your own, using just your own heart? Or are they words that were spoken to you once before, from someone else who supported and *loved* you? Just what made you say them? Were they your own feelings? Could you understand my pain? Or were you just trying to manipulate me? Which was it?"

"..."

"I have my doubts, but I think - given enough time - maybe you still could change. Even a witch like you doesn't need to be alone like this."

The endless field breathed a sigh, a limp wind and beating sunlight revealing through the parting shadows the ugly weeds hidden deep under the tall leaves of grass.

Subaru almost wanted to intterupt that nasty expression in the witch's cold eyes - to tell her to alter the scene, maybe even invite Emilia over for tea; but he did not, even though it did give him a flash of inspiration.

"That stings. That really stings. I said you were a charmer, but it's more apt to say you wreck hearts. With expectations like that-"

"What's even sadder, Echidna? I think the reason you won't say my name is because you're afraid. You're afraid of what will happen if you become Natsuki Subaru's friend."

Echidna did not look baffled or startled, she simply appraised him.

"What? You're overeager to talk. No reply to that?"

"What's with such the overly hostile manner? You're giving me mixed messages. It's simply, if you'll recall, my original offer-"

"No, I'm being perfectly clear, Echidna. I've been journeying with that other fragment of you." He was tempted to call her 'Scarfdona' to her face, but he didn't need another interruption, "I didn't like her at first. I can't say I'm her friend. But I know what she wants. I know she's trying her best, so I want to support her and Anastasia, too. And if you're here, then to me that sounds like an opportunity. I'm just being my usual opportunistic self, saying whatever brave thing I feel like. I hope there's no problem with that."

"The only problem is you're not really making any sense, as usual. It's not a bad problem, though. I like making sense of you."

"I know. But if you want to find out what I really mean..." Subaru offered a hand, "Then come with me. I don't care what you have to say right now. What you want to ask me doesn't matter; I don't owe you anything, so thanks for coming by. I'm leaving. You can either choose to come with me, to call Natsuki Subaru your friend, to use my god damn *name* when you talk to me, or you can go home empty handed. That's my offer. Take it or leave it."

Echidna scrutinized him, as if expecting this to be a joke - but only found seriousness.

"What is this?" she looked at his hand like it was some disgusting thing, "What are you even saying? Go with you? Choose you? Don't think I don't know what you're saying. Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do. Are you so fake and shallow you'll use those words on another? Imagine what Beatrice would think of you. Haven't you even used those words on the maid girl you love so much? You're a criminal, you know you're not supposed to reuse words like those. They ought to be special."

"Again, like daughter like mother, I suppose. I just figured it'd work on you, too." He shrugged with a silly grin, "And if it works, it works. I'm so pathetic, I only seem competent because I try the same shit until it works. You would know."

Her anger melted and she presented yet another sublime smile, "True enough, I confess I find it a little cute, seeing you use your little tricks on me. Yes, you do get along with my daughter well too - surely that's a means to scoring me. It's very wholesome, the person that you are. I do approve of that, at least. Though isn't it also rather twisted?"

He knew what she was trying to imply, but Subaru refused to say 'MILF' in a sentence, he refused to denigrate himself with such a word, though he did think it would have landed as a good joke.

"Echidna, I've been thinking this past year what I would say to you if I ever saw you again - and now I've said it." He shrugged, "I don't get witches. I never will. But I think I was too hasty to push you all away. I recognize you're all bearing a certain brand of loneliness that we share in common. So I figured, why not? If we can be friends, all the better. And now that I've offered it to you finally - I'm satisfied with myself. If there isn't another opportunity, then I'm glad I got it out before you vanish for good. You can come with me and have your questions of meaning met, or you can leave empty-handed and speculate on your own about nothing. Like I'd care at that point."

"For a witch like myself, there's no precedence for agreeing to such a forceful request-"

"It's called friendship."

"Friendship with a witch, at least between non-witches - there is..." she trailed off, "Well, there is precedence for that."

"I don't give a damn what shitty predence there is for anything, it almost sounds like you're looking for an excuse, or a riddle to distance me with. I have no expectations. I'm just picking the "hidden" dialogue option. The one you unlock after you meet enough random criteria and reset the game enough. I mean, I think I qualify for NewGame+ already. I refuse to think of you as just another "boss character", so of course I've been thinking about it - all of you witches - you didn't deserve the lot you were dealt in life. So I don't see why you couldn't just start over with me. There's room for more. Plenty of room. Roswaal has deep pockets we can fleece together. Don't you want to have some real tea with me and rankle that clown while you're at it?"

That nostalgic name made her pause. And she did seem to consider it. Obviously, Echidna wanted to be in the outside world, she didn't want to disappear, she was that greedy thing Subaru had clearly indicated. But she also didn't like 'following'.

"Even if you say it in such a manly way, there's no-"

"Are you saying, after you've been riding around in my pocket for this long without saying a word, that you haven't thought of something similar? The thought didn't occur to you to even ask? 'Please help me.' Are those words so hard for you to say? Do you *like* being a ghost?"

"Obviously I do not, obviously, but this is all very sudden. This isn't at all what I wanted to even talk about. You're really derailing-"

"If I let you talk, if I shut up and just 'let you finish', if I dance to your bullshit tune, you will really just continue to be another Tutorial NPC to me. That's kind of sad, isn't it? Get off your scripted bullshit and join the party."

"Where is this even coming from?" Echidna was turned off, cocking her hips aside in sassy defiance; but her face rode another ribbon of scarlet, "I must be missing something. My original offer-"

"I don't know. If you've been watching, I'm sure you could guess."

"I...did want to talk about what you saw - that was the impetus for this whole meeting, so I'm glad you finally nudged us there. That Rui girl. It was interesting. I was sure you would be crushed. Yet, you became whole again. Somehow. It defies explanation. Will you not let me ask-"

It continued like this for some time, Subaru and Echidna talked about Subaru's insistent proposal. She was too stubborn to cave in so quickly, even at Subaru's insistence. Even though he was trying to force her hand by being hasty, Echidna kept hesitating, making him think he was winning, dragging it out more and more-

"This feels like you are bullying me," Echidna said, "That you are proposing something unfair. None of my plans are going to account for this derailment, should I accept - accept what is honestly, an inane proposal to begin with, *friendship*- considering you sincerely rejected my mutually-"

Echidna was really getting pissed off. Subaru kept interrupting her. But she was a disciplined witch if nothing else, those hard lines in her face continued to get schooled away. Or maybe, she simply was unfettered by emotions to the extent she could simply remain calm in the face of his bluster, flipping between them like the pages of a book.

"I'm just making up for the unfair proposal you nearly trapped me in last year. And besides, if it's unexpected, I figured you'd like it more. Though, I really have to wonder - if you've been in my head this whole time, it can't be that much of a surprise."

"That very fair and equitable proposal, you mean~?" she wryly waggled her smile, "And I don't like what you're implying - I won't literally read your introspecting thoughts, that is very much cheating. But so is not letting me not finish my thoughts..."

"Good enough. But if you won't be a friend of mine, then simply say so, Echidna. I'm out of arguments. If you don't want another friend, then the answer is simple. A powerful witch like you can obtain anything else she wants, it's not like you need me for anything. No, you certainly don't need me - and don't get it twisted: I don't want your help either. I don't want your knowledge, or your wisdom. I simply asked for Echidna to be my friend, not『The Witch of Greed』. My aspirations are ultra low on this, too. I just want some skits and to goof around with you; I don't need you to be the party's Nuker or something."

"You are...again, proving to be skillfull with your words, is what I would like to say. But you are still ignoring the most important part-"

Subaru sighed, "Fine. If your reluctance has won out, then I will leave."

He turned-- and she so suddenly grabbed his shoulder. She had him in a deathgrip.

"Wait. Are you sure you don't have any more leverage to use against me?"

He half-turned his head toward hers.

"You normally wouldn't use leverage to befriend someone."

"Of course. Then why... you almost have it, right? I'm at least half-convinced, you can tell that much. You don't say such things to a girl and then back off, do you? Or is that why your relationship with that half-elf is in such a s-"

"Maa, sorry, but I can't let you get away with finishing that low blow of a remark~" Subaru shrugged sheepishly, looking just a touch forlorn, "But I'm really out of things to say and I'm just trying to show my doggedness. I'm gonna leave, it's not like I have it in me to push that boulder the rest of the way. I just thought it would be nice, if you could come back with me. Assuming it's possible. And surely it is. And this was an awfully convenient encounter, so, I was just thinking, why not? You're making it so damn dramatic."

"It's not convenient in the way you think. I didn't manifest just to be flirted and toyed with."

"Yeah. You have 'questions', which I'm not really obligated to-"

"This conversation has left a sour taste in my mouth. I am normally the one to steer a conversation, but then you go and suddenly interject something so utterly tasteless and it all comes to this." Echidna rolled her eyes, her face blossomed and prickled, "Fine. Forget my questions. Just let me give you a warning and the reason why *I'm* exiting your thick skull in peace, and *firmly* not the other way around."

"Oh? Yeah?"

"Are you aware you nearly unmade yourself, rescuing that simple maid girl from oblivion?"

Subaru scoffed, "Obviously. Even if Rui wasn't being forthcoming, I could tell that pulling free Rem's name - and her memories - from that twisted loli - it was going to be a dangerous task. Being so uncooperative, I had to get my hands dirty..."

"Don't say it like that, others might infer something rotten. But do you know the only reason that you succeeded in that graceless endeavor is myself?"

"Nothing rotten did happen, and -- no, but that adds up."

Echidna shook her head, "You really mustn't do that again. Your willpower is an attractive facet of you, but it is a rather useless muscle in the face of Od Laguna's algorithms. It will defend itself if you try to force something through so clumsily. You got off lightly. And I cannot help you again with it. This speck is all used up."

"I hesitate to even ask, but what did you do?"

"I sacrificed my essence to briefly camouflage your very soul. When it sought to send some dangerous 'antibodies' to the interloping actor, it did not find what it was looking for. However, in the process, I have thinned my presence considerably... and so I will not last a mote longer."

"So you made a self-sacrificial act for my sake? What for?" he would have said it didn't seem very 'greedy', but then Subaru could recall all those times he had selfishly sacrificed himself for 'Emilia's sake', but really it was just fulfilling his own ego. "What compensation are you expecting?"

Echidna gave him a mysterious smile, "Nothing. And... I can't..."

"Ah. You keep too many secrets, Echidna."

She remained still so inscrutable (and paradoxically, also an open book to him).

"Yes. Perhaps I do."

"Are we done then? You told me the thing."

"Still in such a hurry I see, even when that facade is spent." She paused, "Very well. Where are we headed to?"

"...we?"

She folded her arms, imitating a very shy look; he could tell she was imitating something from his memories, a "Student Council President" type expression, where the love interest is so shy about being asked to hold the hero's hand.

"Well, you were asking me out so boldly, I assumed you had a plan to take me somewhere. Or did you just assume I wouldn't accept so readily? Was this just a ploy to plant a seed, before I return? It is true, the contract I have with a certain dragon prevents all aspects of my death or rebirth." She chastized him, "You know, when you ask a girl out, you're supposed to have planned at least *one* date already in advance."

"Yeah, in one way it was like that. To get on a route like yours, you usually need to trip way more flags. But as I think I said, I assumed you had a way to come with me anyway. You wouldn't just 'hitch a ride' without something like that in your pocket?"

"You have such high expectations of me."

"Are you really deciding to come? Or not?" he rolled his eyes, "And of course I have high expectations of you, witch."

"I don't know," she smiled, fluttering her long lashes.

He said it again to make it clear, "Come with me. Choose me to add to your short list of friends, Echidna."

"Even if you say such a nice thing to an undeserving woman like me, I can only entertain it with a wistful smile and slowly vaporize into figments of ash and dust. Now, I am very much used up, you see."

"The hell you can't come with me. Don't give me such a look. Do you want me to feel guilty?"

"Suppose I do."

"I don't think you do. I think you're messed up. I think you've done some horrible things. But I don't think all of you is rotten. *Or* used up. Who even could use you up? You're inexhaustible. Otherwise, I wouldn't be asking like this." He scoffed, "You've been running on fumes for centuries. I'm sure even a molecule of Echidna can survive if she really wishes to, forget about whatever contracts you have - that of which I have no interest in hearing about, by the way."

"Your incuriousness continues to baffle me and yet you've been thinking about this for a while? Assuming it would just happen? But yet, you assumed I would just be able to join you so easily if you convinced me... your thinking is all jumbled, as usual."

Subaru hesitated, "I feel like you're just trying to make me excuse you for letting you go again. I'm not. Do what you have to do. Stop trying to milk me for conversation - we have to get on with our lives here - if you actually say yes, I can show you how to *savor* something. Yes, I know I can only contract with one spirit, so I know that isn't an option; 'sides the fact I don't trust you with that much power over me anyway, but I'm sure you can still vacate this part of me. Why don't you join up with Anastasia's spirit? That's the only idea I've got in mind, but I have a feeling she wouldn't decline. Is that really not possible?"

"So you did have something in mind. Such a convenient suggestion... perhaps I was waiting for you to have the idea so I wouldn't seem so conniving~ And yet I doubt it will go over so well, but..." She mulled over it, seeming to recognize it was still a possible route, "Fine. But going to such lengths for me and we haven't spoken in so long, or even been on that good a term... whatever caused this, I wonder. In either case, it can attempt it, no problem."

"I guess you'll have to find out, some way. But don't misunderstand, I'm not going out of my way for this. I'm not going to kill myself over and over until I find a way to convince you of anything. I'm not so greedy we need to be friends that badly. I just thought... Isn't it sad? That's all. It was just another throw away thought like that, from a guy who's too hasty and reckless to do anything right, somebody who always cuts twice." He laughed, "Or more."

Echidna returned his smile and finally did giggle, "I don't know about anything being sad. I worry you might be ascribing too many things to me, but yes, I suppose you're right. It wouldn't be like me to even let a figment of myself fade away..." She took his hand, "Very well, Natsuki Subaru. But if this unreasonably likely ask has any chance of succeeding, you will have to do a simple thing for me. If you should take too long, I really will fade from here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was Echidna really being herself I guess. 
> 
> The anime has my understanding of her really jumbled, honestly. Apparently she was "always watching" Subaru? And yet, she's not supposed to know anything about the events that happened after her death...? I'm confused as to what she knows and how she precisely knows it, so I am actually just assuming now she is totally omniscient of everything but the inner monologue of Subaru's mind.
> 
> And of course I wanted to include her in this story, so it was only natural that wall of text would appear.
> 
> I did scour arc4 to find out if she ever calls Subaru Subaru, and she never does to his face, in-fact as far as I could find, she only refers to him in the third person one time. I think it could be an interesting clue; either about her personality, or about what Subaru's true name might be, assuming he has one.
> 
> I also don't really like how Subaru concludes the arc4 WN by rejecting the witches as all being "Crazy". I know he has more empathy than that. I think he was just so frustrated and frazzled.


	4. New Route

He opened his eyes. The fuzziness cleared. Fading and fading, harsh light entered him.

"Subaru-sama!"

He smiled, looking up at Rem, "Heyoo," he coughed - his body aching from stiffness, he had been lying for far too long, even if the lap underneath him was sublimely soft, "How're you doing Rem?"

That he could say such words so casually made his smile split open and split deeper into his face.

She immediately began to cry, there was no hesitation or reservation, her emotion rising like a moon. She pressed her forehead to his, "Subaru-sama."

"G-geez," he laughed, "Rem," he thought he had already cried his eyes out before in the tower, but here he was again-- being so unmanly and uncool, "I'm sorry, ah, I guess I worried you. Did I pass out? I know I didn't die, so..."

The wagon started to slow to a halt - the drivers noting Subaru was now awake.

"Subaru!" Emilia scooted in, "Are you okay?"

"Good morning, Emilia-tan." His eyes rocked back to Rem, "Emilia-tan, meet Rem. Rem, I'm sure she looks fa-" he stopped, realizing his lame joke would land soundly flat, "-you don't actually know each other right now, if I'm not mistaken. Sorry, that's on me."

"It's okay. Rem and Emilia-san have become a little acquainted since we were in that dire situation. But yes," she stroked his bangs with crusted-over eyes, streaks of gloss still fresh on her cheeks. Rem's smile was truly blinding, "We do need to remediate some of these lingering issues of memory... But what's important is everyone is okay right now. Right? You are okay, right Subaru-kun?"

"Almooost everyone is okay," Subaru stretched with a wince.

"S-Subaru-sama!"

He giggled, "Relax Rem, I'm not so weak I c-caaowwwww!" he cringed - his muscles protested his sitting up. He found himself lying right back down into Rem's lap. Emilia admonished him with a (cute) fiery glare.

"Subaru! You mustn't move! I healed you as much as I could, but you're still in dire need of rest. Don't you dare move!"

(She's so cute when she's mad. I remember how I fell for her now.) -- such unsaid words were plain on Subaru's face, even Rem could see them and she was immediately troubled by it.

"Ah-Tttch! I'm sorry Emilia-tan, Rem. I acted too hastily." He was smiling so much. A smile so demanding and feverish. Oppressively heavy, a smile that looked desperate and achy. All of these things and more, were still quite mysterious to Emilia, who only had the rudimentary sense to feel her heart close up in the face of them. But to Rem -- Rem poked him in the cheek.

"Rest. Lie back down."

"Don't I at least get to hold Beako's hand first?"

She grumbled just out of view, "Subaru, please don't joke, even I am concerned for your health because of how strange your ailment was earlier, I suppose. Just lie back down and be good."

"Beako is concerned for my health? Nothing could make a man happier."

Rem giggled, looking at Beatrice's cheeks. Emilia looked so out of place in her new clothes - the village donating her a peasant girl's attire. The girls of the desert apparently wore long white dishdashah. Emilia was beautiful in everything that she wore, so Subaru could not complain, but he did want to comment about her new attire.

"You look so beautiful Emilia-tan, Rem..."

Rem's lip creased at the 'ordering' of that statement, she glanced between herself and Emilia, but she still smiled. For now.

"Please rest, Subaru-sama." She poked his cheek again, "We can talk about everything later. It's enough to know you're finally awake. Are you thirsty?"

"Ah, just a little, but- before that-" his voice was a little dry, but it wasn't so bad it couldn't wait, "We need to stop the wagon for a bit. It's important. Anastasia, would you come over here?"

"Stop the wagon? But it's already stopped." Julius was peeking in from the front to watch the commotion, his eyes brimming at seeing Subaru already so lively once more, "Subaru, are you truly fine?"

"Yeah. Yeah, maybe my head's... but more importantly, Echidna needs a little help."

"Eh?" Anastasia had waddled already over to Subaru, staring down at him - and her stuffy spirit had risen up off her shoulders, vocalizing its confusion, "Echidna and me 're fine, actually." She grinned, "'specially thanks t'ya on that, Natsuki-dono."

Echidna raised its head from Anastasia's shoulder, nodding, "Our sincere thanks."

Subaru could feel his body still protesting from what it had been put under as he kept his head up. He started to move again. Emilia and Rem argued against Subaru doing anything but he insisted. After the heated glares ceased, Anastasia came forward, Echidna hopping off her shoulder and skidding down her short arm to that fragile hand of hers. Subaru sat up just enough to take Echidna's paw in both of his.

Then, at Subaru's instruction, Echidna simply touched Subaru's forehead.

Then, nothing happened.

"Ha. What's the deal with this Barusu? Are you trying to make some sort of dramatic entrance back into the world? You've already had everyone in this wagon fawn over you for a whole day. Isn't that enough gluttonous-" she stopped to correct her word, Ram wasn't sure she would ever enjoy using *that* word again, "-isn't that enough for one person already?"

Subaru chuckled, glad to hear the ire in Ram's voice, "I'm sorry for being so greedy. It's just, sometimes you want to help someone, even if you get nothing but pain in return."

"I'm glad you're awake, Master," Shaula was standing over him, her breasts...hanging out, drooping down vertically. They probably had their own gravitational pull. Subaru actually had to resist being sucked in, even at a time like this.

Subaru was trying very hard not to blush as she smiled so radiantly at him, "But I agree with the others, you're not making a lot of sense. Are you sure you don't need to go back to sleep?"

"When Shaula is sounding more sagacious than Barusu, I'm beginning to wonder if I shouldn't interfere with the relationship you have with my Rem, Barusu..."

"J-just, be quiet. Echidna's concentrating. Don't interrupt her." They were still connected from paw to temple.

Anastasia frowned, "Just what are you doing with my spirit, Natsuki-dono?"

"Echidna said she wanted to discover herself, right?" Subaru shrugged, "I'm merely giving her the opportunity."

"Just what do you mean?"

"It's complicated but -- basically, I learned I made a small mistake, healing Rem the way I did. If it weren't for Her, things might have turned out for the worse."

"Again, you speak in riddles, Natsuki-dono." Anastasia did smile, "But if it's truly something Echidna wants that-"

"I made Echidna promise not to do anything Echidna wasn't sure about."

"You did? Since when-"

He looked at the spirit touching him, "Not...that Echidna. But the other."

"Barusu..." Ram suddenly had a dangerous glow, she had a bad feeling.

Recognition flashed in Anastasia's eyes, "You- you mean- "

At that moment, Echidna withdrew her paws from Subaru's forehead. There was something different about her, that much was immediately noticeable to Subaru the spiritualist, though he had been expecting a flash of light, or at least some kind of particle effect- these kinds of powerups were supposed to be represented properly!

The spirit, Echidna, turned to her Master and bowed her head with a small smile, "Thank you for being patient," she then regarded everyone in the room, "It ah, was 'wise' of Subaru to stop the wagon for this. I would have had to endure a little vertigo, otherwise. It would have been very unpleasant. Although I am acquainted with vomit, I would not say it's to my liking."

Already, Anastasia could tell her long time companion was acting strangely, "Echidna...?"

"You needn't worry, no harm has befallen me. I'm still the Echidna you know, the who inhabited your body for a time, provided consultation and companionship for the other past decade. For the things I have been inadequate at, many apologies are necessary, but I will rectify my mistakes now that I have some proper notion of who I once was."

"Once...was?" deep creases of worry sank into Anastasia's face.

"It's difficult to explain, but in time I will divulge it in full so that it is clear. For now? As tacky as it is, I will try something to hopefully expedite this process of fully understanding. I'm sure it's already plain to you though, Anastasia-sama." Echidna concentrated, drawing a pitiful amount of mana out. She transformed slowly, growing long limbs and full white hair. 

Subaru could recognize that smile from anywhere, there was no one quite as conceited as Echidna. And she bore that smile readily and easily, seated in the wagon. While he was a little worried everyone might start vomiting-- that wasn't the case-- though maybe it had to do with the fact that--

...she was now completely in the nude.

"D...do you think we have any more clothes?" Emilia said, full of recognition. Her eyes had a rare hardness.

Subaru was trying very hard to look away, blushing. Rem helpfully covered his eyes.

"Julius, please look away."

"Yes Anastasia-sama."

"She's pretty stacked, Master! She looks so familiar, too... Oh! I know! I know! Master, can I tell, please please please?"

In the end, they had to wrap her in a blanket. They had no spare clothes. Echidna ended up surprising them by radiating a little mana to weave the drab brown cloth into nightsky shroud, a simple black dress floating over her ankles. Julius was astonished by her beauty.

"Is this where I give my name, Subaru-kun?" Echidna asked, her voice leaking with petulance, tacking on that 'kun' in the most teasing way imaginable.

"-kun?" Rem blinked.

"I mean, if you tell them now," he said, sitting up in Rem's lap, Beatrice holding one of his hands, "it'll be a pain? Gah. But some people already know and they'll just--" he shook his head, "Either way, we might not get the wagon moving again until tomorrow if we try to really explain it... Besides, you already sort of have an alias, you know, y-you're still the Echidna they know, right. So, you don't have to-"

"My, my, you have such little confidence in your merry band of misfit friends~ I happen to believe they are quite accomodating. A half-elf, with silver hair? Two artificial spirits? Everyone of...us. Everyone of us is rather unique. And yet, there seems to be some spirit of equanimity among us. From where does it originate, I wonder?" she looked at Emilia with a glib smile of knowing, "I am Echidna, formerly 『The Witch of Greed』, though I cannot hold that title any longer in this artificial body of mine. I am merely Echidna, Anastasia Hoshin's confidant and artificial spirit. One of three artificial spirits in total, in-fact." she traded glances, holding a particular one along Beatrice's fairy eyes, "I will perhaps be using this form in your company, if it does not bring discomfort, as a means of defining a new role in this party. Now that my previous self's memories have returned to me, I now know who I once was, and whom I shall be from this day henceforth, neither a witch, nor a spirit, but something of an amalgam. I'm quite curious where it will lead."

"Di...did you say that right? 『The Witch of Greed』?" Julius sat stunned, twisted over the front of the wagon, his astonished eyes glazing over. He stumbled into the shade to get a better look.

"『The Witch of Greed』 ..." Ram stared, "Such a thing was hiding out in Barusu's skull...?" a dark look befell her, "R..Roswaal will.."

"『The Witch of Greed』 ..." Rem stared, "Such a thing was hiding out on Anastasia-sama's shoulders?" a dark look befell her, "S..Subaru, why..."

"A-ah, let's not focus so much on those details..."

"Dummy!" Beatrice's eyes were crackling with tears, smacking him with her open hand, "What were you doing in-fact! You had Mother inside you all this time and you never said anything!"

"I-It's not like I knew until now! I- how picked it up aside, as soon as I learned she was in my head, I offered to reunite her with the spirit I obviously knew about! A-and look, it paid off!" 

Subaru was grinning - at least glad his insistence had paid off? Or maybe this was a giant mistake in the making. But it felt right to him. He could remember those days when he first met Emilia, talking about doing one good deed a day. This to him, felt like one of those. That's all this was, giving Echidna a second chance to start anew.

"I suppose I am further indebted to you, Natsuki Subaru," Anastasia sighed, her body scared stiff, "Or is this another burden for me? Or have you done your faction the disservice of giving a temporary ally such a powerful benefactor. I truly wonder. I am completely beyond words."

Echidna chuckled, "I am technically not any more powerful now that I have recovered many of my former memories, Ana. Even in my prime, I was the weakest of the 『Witches of Sin』, and in this body, my greatest asset to you is simply my accumulated knowledge. Technically, I am not 『The Witch of Greed』 at all, for...a few reasons I will not get into, the least of which being that I am a spirit and not technically corporeal or sinful. Of course, I do have forbidden knowledge, of which, there is some I am willing to share with you. I do suppose, however-"

Beatrice interrupted her, "Mother."

"O-Oh?" Echidna stopped from recounting her now powerless state, watching Beatrice's eyes stream thin rivulets of tears, "It has been so very long, hasn't it, Beatrice. Are you upset with me, perhaps?" she looked at Subaru, "The results of our contract were never something I could have anticipated."

Beatrice made a small gesture with her hands, causing Echidna to approach casually, then hoisting her up into one of her arms. Although Beatrice did not go so far as to hug her, she was rewarded with a simple pat on the head and a long, lean smile. Beatrice made a fulfilled sigh.

"Hm. You seem...different now." Subaru observed, surprised Echidna had no actual words to share with her daughter.

He had his reservations about the witch and what pain had been dealt to Beatrice as a result, but he was willing to overlook them for now for Beako's sake.

"Whatever differences between your expectations and reality, we may discuss later. Suffice to say I am no different from the Echidna you all knew just moments ago, I have merely recovered my memories, just like your beloved 'Rem' over there. Or are you saying the Rem you knew, and the Rem you know now, are so substantially different?"

"That's a low blow, Echidna. But also completely different in nature, too."

She chuckled.

Emilia walked around, standing in front of the prone Subaru in the wagon, "Echidna?" her voice was thick with defensiveness, "What were you doing with Subaru this whole time...? Did you hurt him?" she couldn't believe what she was seeing, "You're supposed to be dead! I saw you - aren't you a ghost! How did this happen!"

He immediately pulled on Emilia's dishdashah, "Emilia-tan, easy, easy! I know you don't have a good relationship with-- ah-- Sa--Satella-" he shivered at saying the name, recalling that time he *called* Emilia that, "--but Echidna is nothing like that! Though, she is a bit of a-"

"I know who she is!" Emilia was confused by what Subaru was saying most of all- she had never considered what he might really think, when it came to witches.

"Oh. You do? You met her? Wh-" he blinked, "When?"

"The trial! She was the proctor!"

"Emilia-tan, nobody really says proctor anymore..."

Subaru pounded his fist into his palm with a grin - then winced - his hand hurt!

"I should have asked you about that at some point." He sighed, chastizing himself for always being so cautious about peering into what people knew. It was always so hard for him to keep track of what he could or could not reveal, afraid what his questions might prompt others to ask of him. 'How do you know that, Subaru?' was often a terrifying question he only managed to scrape by on luck alone.

"That is a fine thing to say, Subaru," Echidna nodded, "My reputation, as justly wicked as it is true, still puts me apart from that wicked and foul monster who took away everything from me. She and I are not on equal terms. She is in-fact my mortal foe."

"So she's a good witch, then." Julius tried to determine, his voice a little hollow.

"She wasn't so good to me..." Emilia muttered, "But she wasn't all that bad either. In-fact, she's just a person, like anyone else."

"I would have no recollection of that," Echidna thumbed her chin, glancing at Emilia, "Though I do have a sense Gluttony's Authority may be the cause of that. What a trifle. Still, thank you for defending me, Emilia."

"As much as a witch could be considered good, I suppose," Beatrice said finally with a small cough, "The morality of it is not a simple thing, in-fact. Mother has done many questionable things. It is understandable that there be some apprehensiion."

"But one of them was not Beakoooo~" Subaru chimed in, causing her to blush and get knocked out of such a pensive state.

"I suppose so, that much is true, in-fact: Betty was a masterwork~"

"How rare of you to be so genuine and self-congratulatory. You have changed, Beatrice," Echidna observed, her eyes twinkling with greed. She set her down slowly.

Meili was unpreturbed, "So we have a so-called former-wi~tch, a half-elf, an artificial spirit, two onis, a spiritualist-knight, and two Royal Selection candidates-- plus myself. Did I forget any~one?"

Ram said dryly, "Barusu, what part of this seemed like a good idea to you? Do you know what will happen to Roswaal-sama when this comes out? Do you know what this will do to *me*?" she pointed at Echidna, "That! That is my greatest rival!"

"I am not simply a "so-called" former witch, without my Authority, in this state, I am merely an impotent echo," Echidna's pompous smile deflated, as everyone was no longer quite as concerned about her, "If every soul is a book, then I'm simply a new abridged edition with some pages torn out."

"Should we ask Subaru if he has any other witches hiding out in his skull?"

"Barusu's skull is certainly thick enough to be protecting another large secret or two."

"Ask? He should be checked out. Clearly he cannot be trusted."

"Yes, it really would not surprise me if has been hiding something just as big! He's soooo-"

"Mou! Emilia-tan! You're betraying me too?!" Subaru wrestled in Rem's lap, the girl anchoring him down with a fidgeting smile, "Don't talk about me like I'm not even here!"

Everyone became a little more acquainted with Echidna, who seated herself with unnatural grace at Anastasia's side. Anastasia's mouth hung ajar, just regarding at her with awe. Anastasia finally smiled, taking Echidna's hand fearlessly. It couldn't be said they all accepted her; a witch of sorts was still a witch to those who had grown up in fear of their legend; Julius himself was honor-bound to try to 'deal with her'. However, they agreed to set aside their differences for the moment. They needed to reach Roswaal and recuperate. Anastasia was anxious to rest. So they resumed their travel, the day burning away slowly. There was too much to talk about.

Anastasia was wise enough to steer the conversation in a positive direction the rest of the way.

"I am glad you were able to find yourself again, Echidna."

She nodded calmly, squeezing her partner's fragile grip, "I owe you many thanks for coming this far."

She shook her head, "Shucks."

Ram was looking between Echidna and Subaru, she was wearing a feisty look, "This is going to cause so much trouble at the mansion."

"Actually, I've been meaning to ask since it happened, but with Emilia-tan erased from everyone's memories, just what sort of relationship do I even have with Roswaal..." Subaru chuckled sheepishly, "You know, I never asked to be called 'Subaru-sama'."

Ram grimaced, "Do..does Emilia-san constitute that important of a personage in our camp...?" she apologized, "That I could not protect your Name from being devoured, please accept my sincere apology, Emilia-san."

The half-elf shook her head, "It's okay, we all tried reeeally hard back there!" Emilia rubbed the back of her covered head, "Everything's fine!"

Rem looked at Emilia with understanding, "She's so charming. It only makes sense, Nee-sama. And Subaru-sama really cares about her. It only makes sense she'd be important. We need to set this right," but she trailed off, a little concerened.

The way Emilia had thrown herself into harm's way for Subaru certainly had made it equally obvious to Rem, that it wasn't so one-sided, either. That she might just be 'important'.

Ram sighed, "I feel like we are way off track. Barusu, this was a bad time to introduce more complexity."

"There was no more time!"

Emilia was definitely struggling to keep up with the sudden shift in topics - just how easily could their camp accept a witch, former or otherwise? These witches were half the reason Subaru had almost died numerous times! Half the reason Roswaal's estate had been attacked and innocent people nearly murdered! 

Subaru reached for Emilia's hand, pulling her down with him and Rem. Emilia was hesitant, but followed his pull into a one-armed embrace. Subaru looked really weak, cringing as his muscles ached. Although Subaru could not read her mind, he did have a pretty good idea what was going on.

"I don't know what the official story is, but Emilia-tan is the reason we're all together right now. S'not got a damn thing to do with me! And Echidna, for all her faults, is also a friend who helped me a lot, whether she had the best intentions in mind or not. So let's all try to get along for now. We'll work out something! And - just to refresh your memories - Emilia-tan's most selfish goal is to make it so that everyone in the kingdom is treated equally! So if we can live up to her word by treating a witch with equality - then we'll have proven that anything is possible!"

Subaru had such a speech prepared. That he did not bungle it was quite shocking, even for him. He was being exceptionally competent today. Although that speech did not completely dispel disagreement, it did deter any actual conflict. 

They resumed the wagon's journey back home, though Echidna did take up a new seat beside Anastasia, keeping an even more 'friendly' distance from Emilia. The two were not fighting, but the dragon's words had clearly riled the half-elf up when it came to anything occult. 

Anastasia acknowledged Subaru cordially, "I fully support our alliance, Natsuki-dono, even if this has become undeniably messy. However, could we all agree to keep a secret regarding Echidna? I'm sure you understand why."

There was a mixture of tentative agreement and simple nodding. 

"Of course, I mean, this was practically my idea to begin with."

"Barusu... what you have done is going to cause many problems. Do you have any idea what Roswaal-sama has been doing all his life? This Echidna-- If she really is 『The Witch of Greed』 -- Then he will--"

"Oh yeah. You mean that creepy crush he has on Echidna-chan?"

"-chan?"

"Yes Barusu, this will stymie my chances with Roswaal-sama."

"Those chances...I still don't understand why you like that guy. He has a bad character, Ram! He's a clown!"

"Please do not disparage Roswaal-sama, Barusu. Besides, your character is as bad as the miasma was in the tower-- but did we refuse to breathe back then? No, of course not, Roswaal - and even you - both you are improving constantly." 

"You started to say something really nasty there, and yet it came out sounding so nice instead." Subaru was amazed.

"Do not misunderstand, I am not equating you to Roswaal-sama, however... you are mysteriously competent at certain things that matter to me, Barusu. I won't misrepresent that. I am obviously very pleased to have my dear Rem back, but that merely allows me to forgive you for losing her in the first place. And so, I won't say I'm pleased you are bringing *her* back. Besides, isn't Shaula-san enough new friends for us to manage?" she glared, "You are a detestable man, Barusu. Don't think I don't notice how you were holding my darling Rem's hand at the same time you held Emilia-san's."

Rem squeezed his hand, resting her chin on his shoulder. Subaru's entire face blossomed scarlet as he turned and looked into her exhausted gaze. Rem was truly siphoned of all her strength; she hadn't gotten any real sleep, but her desire to see Subaru was so strong, she was refusing to yield a single moment.

"A-ah, I'm not sure I can handle even faint praise from your onee-chan, Rem." He chuckled, "So I'll just apologize for being a scumbag."

"Nee-sama is on an entirely other level, isn't she, Subaru-kun?" her voice was dreamy and wet, her lips on the verge of kissing him, "I love that Subaru-sama is so forgiving. He'll reach out to anyone. I believe in him, even if it is a little scary. Even if I'm, well," a little hardness returned to her soft eyes, "-a little concerned about how you were holding Emilia-san's hand as well."

Subaru sank into despair for a moment. Likely, Emilia's name becoming erased had also erased any declaration of love for her from Rem's mind. This would certainly ... considering he had planted a lot of flags for Rem in advance of all this, to avoid this kind of situation, it happened anyway. This was the luck a scumbag like him deserved. Subaru knew he could never be forgiven for holding onto two hearts like this. Still, Rem was at least beside herself enough to be holding him like this, so maybe the situation was not yet that dire.

Subaru was not against a little PDA, even if it was sort of frowned on where he came from, but he didn't want to make Ram any more upset either, so he put some polite distance between them. Cutely enough, Beatrice was struggling to contain herself, totally absorbed in the moment. On one hand, she wanted to sit at Subaru's side, but on the other hand, she wanted to sit with Echidna. It was clear she was trying to obfuscate these feelings, but she was actually still really bad at that sort of thing.

"Putting Roswaal's reaction to my presence aside for now, that you are here instead of the Mathers estate, it must mean the Forbidden Archive is no more, I take it? Or perhaps did Subaru have it moved?" Subaru knew that Echidna was aware of that particular detail, so he did not approve of her toying with Beako's feelings. He glared at her.

Beatrice sank, having pushed those painful details far away, "Ah...in a way... I suppose..."

"Aren't those matters the private concerns of the Mathers faction, Echidna-sama?" Ram glared at her, "Although your memories may link you to Roswaal-sama and necessitate good relations, that does not mean we need to answer all your inquiries."

"Maa, maa, Ram, let's not start any fights-" Subaru waved his hand, "Echidna-chan, let's save heavy discussions like that for later. Please. Everyone almost died like," he did a mental recap, "One hundred and seven times over, back in the tower."

Echidna had a small smile of understanding, "Oh. That many, huh~? That sounds so very serious. But you're right, we're all very exhausted. Please try to keep calm."

"Subaru, I don't like it when you call her Echidna-chan..." Emilia nagged.

He cringed, "E-Emilia-tan! I'm just trying to-- Echidna's personality is a little-- I'm just trying to help her be friendly~ And can we please not talk about the tower? It's gone now." he waved to Echidna.

Echidna chuckled, squeezing Anastasia's hand, "It's fine, Subaru-kun," looking over her fondly, "You needn't force it."

(Shaula wined up in the front about 'Master's tower'. She was of course fond of anything Master had made and the witchbeast-girl was still mourning its complete destruction.)

"We should never go to such a place ever again, in-fact." Betty declared, "Never, ever, ever."

Subaru laughed, somehow, through all those insane things he had endured. To end it all by hearing Echidna call him by that name, it was oddly fulfilling.

Shaula whined, "Gee, but Master's tower wasn't all that bad, eeeven if it did get kind of boring waiting for stuff to finally happen!"

Patrasche took them along more and more popular roads toward the estate, where Anastasia could rendezvous with her allies, but their wagon was creaking with rickety weakness and struggling through up-hill mounds of muck. Recent rains had made the wider-traveled roads clogged with pustules of quicksand-like mud. Everyone was so tired, it was a struggle to keep a watch on the road for them. Julius's sharp eyes caught one giant pit of it just before they were about to fall victim to it. The wagon struggled to stop in time, just barely making it.

"We probably should turn around," Julius suggested, "I know that we are close to respite, but there is a peaceful town not far back. We could rest there while the roads dry."

"Sounds good to me!" Subaru said, living in paradise with -- Beatrice in his lap, Rem's hand is his, Emilia fidgeting at his right; although he didn't want the attention, he even had Echidna pouring over him; constantly throwing bombs at his current predicament - carefully worded questions that never revealed too much, but kept Rem and Emilia and Beako wary of letting him go; the playful tension prevented everyone from venturing to some of the more despairing questions that needed to be asked. Like, how was Julius going to recover his name? Emilia? Crusch...? If restoring Rem's name and memories had nearly ended Subaru's life, how could they ask him to risk doing something so dangerous again? Without any coveted dragon blood, was there no other mechanism to undoing the damage done?

Subaru himself didn't know how to answer that question. He wasn't sure what would happen if Od Laguna 'rejected' his 'meddling'. Would that trigger 『Return By Death』? Or would it be a fate worse than death? He couldn't interrogate Echidna about it right now, but he wondered if she even knew the answer.

In the end, Ram tried to offer running on ahead to warn Roswaal they were on their way, but Subaru refused to let her part with them. After having lost Rem for over a year, he would never let anyone close to him stray too far. Besides, Subaru had a feeling somebody like Roswaal would already know they were coming.

\---

They turned around, stopping at a border town only half an hour back down the road. Light was fading as they pulled in through a well-swept but mottled road of well-worn dirt. Tracks wheeled off in a myriad of directions, but Julius got directions to an inn. Everyone achily piled inside. They were a real motley crew, drawing glances from everyone. Subaru stood in the midst of all of them, truly able to smile. In one hand, Rem's fingers were laced with his. In his other, Beako's. Emilia stood right in front - making frequent glances over her shoulder at him. Nothing could make him more elated than to lock eyes with her and smile.

Rem squeezed him tightly, leaning into his arm, "Subaru-sama," she murmured, "I...want to share a room with you."

"E-eh?"

"No." Ram was at her sister's side, "You need your rest. Barusu will keep you up."

"I-It's not like that, Nee-sama. Rem just wants to make sure Subaru-sama is safe."

"Master will be fine!" Shaula turned around, blasting her voice to the entire lobby, "I'll share a room with Master."

Emilia: "..."

Rem: "..."

Ram: "..."

Beatrice: "..."

Patrasche: "..."

Julius: "..."

Anastasia: "..."

Echidna grinned, "How amusing. I would like to see the outcome of that."

Everyone else (except Shaula): "No!"

"Vetoed," Ram said, much to her sister's delight, "Barusu will sleep alone."

Tentatively, Shaula agreed, but her disappointment was apparent, "Aww."

Subaru patted her back, "Sorry Shaula. Don't worry, we'll make lots of memories together."

"Just not *those* sort," Betty muttered. Rem nodded vigorously. Emilia was...knotted up? Her face was all wrinkled, was she...confused? Angry? He liked to think the latter. Subaru did like that it might be a look of consternation on Emilia's face ... so he wondered if he could conspire with Shaula to make Emilia a little jealo-

Echidna patted his back suddenly with a cryptic smile, "Are you sure you want to stoke a girl's E N V Y, Subaru-kun?"

"A-ah..." he shrank, "Good point."

At that exact moment, a familiar green-garbed merchant came strolling in. Otto stopped and stared.

"O-Oh?" Otto laughed, "What a coincidence! Everyone's here!"

\---

Subaru deduced it wasn't much of a coincidence. Roswaal had sent various people to the border towns of his territory once memories of Rem came flooding back to him. He had reasonably concluded that Subaru had found a cure and would be returning with ripe information to wield against the witch cult. From there, it was pretty easy to guess what routes they might take to return home. Subaru was just glad it wasn't someone like Clind awaiting them, that guy was a touch weird even for Subaru.

And so "Subaru-camp" as it was currently called rented rooms on the second floor. There weren't enough rooms available, so Julius, Subaru and Beatrice ended up sharing a room together. Beatrice, being Subaru's partner, was best suited for staying with him. Some female members of the party ... gave the spirit strained looks of one degree or another as she abandoned the ladies' bed room with a victorious smile.

Subaru was preparing to retire, most everyone tucked away into their rooms. He was using the inn's second floor wall for support, his back aching and protesting its continued use. He couldn't possibly sleep just yet.

"What are you even doing here, Otto?" he sighed.

"That's such a lame welcome, considering we've been parted for how long?"

"Days. Weeks, at most."

"It's been longer than that!"

He wondered how long it had actually taken them to complete the tower. He actually didn't know what day it was.

Subaru chuckled, "Yeah. It has been. Hasn't it?"

"That's just what I said! Stop acting like you're on another level than me, just 'cause you're..." he muttered the rest of his barb.

"Just 'cause I'm what?"

"Nothin'."

Subaru shrugged, "Otto, I'm just a jackass that doesn't deserve anything or anyone like what I've got." He smacked his friend's shoulder, "I'm genuinely glad to see you. I'm just tired."

"I figured. You look like shit."

He tugged on his desert garb, "Well, yeah. I can't wait to get changed into something else when we get back-" he stopped.

Home?

"Natsuki-sama? Is something wrong?"

He laughed, "No, it's nothing. It's just, I was thinking about the mansion."

The old one had burned down over a year ago, but Roswaal apparently had as many of those as he did schemes. 

"About that, Natsuki-sama, Roswaal is planning for a large celebration when you arrive back. He wants us to go to the main Mathers' ancestral home."

"The main one?"

"Yes," Otto nodded, "I've never been there, but I've helped orchestrate deliveries to it. From what I understand, in order to cut down on assassination attempts on your life, Roswaal has all of his blood-relatives and esteemed guests stay there."

"Those are technically called friends and family from where I'm from, but I suppose this is Roswaal we're talkin' about."

Subaru paused to think about young girls and boys in clown make up, old grandpas and grandmas, and suddenly even his own parents were magicked into his imagination. He imagined them covered in mayonnaise and clown makeup.

"I'm suddenly horrified."

"Natsuki-sama, I think you're overthinking this. It's technically a great honor."

"Otto, I get you really look up to Rosi-chi-"

"Of course! He's a very successful business man, among many other things."

"He's a rich, creepy asshole."

"Who isn't an asshole that's rich?"

"Right now? I guess I don't know, maybe Anastasia or Crusch or Felt?"

"I'm hoping to be rich some day too, Natsuki-sama."

Subaru laughed, "Otto, you can lay off with the -sama already. We're seriously friends, okay?"

Otto blushed and rubbed the back of his head, "It's not like I don't know that, but I need to show you the proper amount of respect..."

"Nonsense. I'm nobody important. I know a lot of people put stock in what I've done, and I'm glad Emilia can reap-" he stopped, "Shucks. I guess that would explain it. Where would all that praise go undirected to but me? I've really messed up big time. Emilia-tan is the one who needs all this attribution."

"Natsuki-sama, I don't understand what you're talking about."

Clapping his shoulder again, Subaru smirked, "Listen Otto..."

Subaru had memories of the tower rushing back to him. The first time he used Cor Leonis on Ram, he had felt the crushing weight of all that oni's silent burdens. This whole time, she had been suffering day to day in that sort of anguish. He hadn't the slightest clue she endured so much for him. No wonder she was such a cranky bitch.

"-None of us can be sure what we're all going through. Everyone is dealing with something horrible. Some horrible, unspeakable thing they can't reveal. All that praise in the world? It's great. But it's all wasted on me. Everyone else needs to congratulate themselves more. Just spare me the burden of holding onto all those feelings, because I have nothing productive to channel them into."

Otto swallowed, going pale as death, "But- h-hold on-"

"No buts. Anyway, call me Natsuki-sama if you insist, but really, Subaru's fine enough."

"Wh-what's brought this on!"

"Idiot. Don't blush worse than Emilia-tan, I'm already frustrated with how little the meter has filled since our first kiss."

"I- I- really don't understaaaaand!"

He nodded, "Just get some rest. We'll...attend whatever messed up festival Rosi-chi has planned, m'kay? Then we'll march straight onto Crusch's, Felt's, and Priscilla's factions; they all have people suffering from lost memories. I should be able to help them all out now, uh, once I figure out how to do it safely."

"H-Huh?"

Subaru grinned, "We're going to need as many people indebted to us as possible, if we want to crush Capella and make Emilia's dreams really come true."

"Actually, about that. Natsuki-sama-"

"Now, now, off to bed Otto, it can wait until the morning, can't it?"

"Ah, I suppose, but-"

Subaru shoo'd his friend off. Otto stumbled away, looking more burdened than when he arrived. But Subaru always had a way of increasing Otto's workload.

\---

Wandering restlessly into the later hours, Subaru finally started to crash from fatigue. He checked in with the girls, peeping through the keyhole to make sure everyone was asleep. He wanted to ajar the door and do a thorough checking, but he had a bad feeling about being so invasive. So instead--

He activated Cor Leonis.

Maybe it wasn't the best idea. Immediately his already fragile state was taxed to its limit - so many hearts throbbed between her ears, so many disparate senses clogging the tiny capilliaries of his brain. He wanted to vomit all over the inn floor - but he held it together long enough to count the distinct hearts. Everyone was there. Everyone was safe. This was really almost over.

He deactivated Cor Leonis, sagging in place. He was streaked with sweat, his heart racing. But he was smiling.

"Everything's going to be okay."

Those words were enough to channel the necessary endurance to stand straight again. He walked around to the other end of the floor and slipped inside his own room. He did not stop walking, afraid he might fall over if he gave up the momentum.

Subaru cringed and winced, lowering himself to his bed slowly, carefully. Betty glided over to his side, animated at his return. She checking him over, "Staying up this late against my orders? I hope you're not expecting much sympathy from Betty. Don't make such a pained expression, it's not that bad! Everyone contributed to your healing, Subaru. Show some consideration, in-fact. Betty tried her hardest to keep you alive this far, but don't overlook the possibility I might neglect you out of spite until you learn your lesson, I suppose."

He laughed, "Spare just a little more sympathy for me please? Just hold my hand? The pain might go away faster, Beako."

She sighed, taking the excuse to offer her hand. He wielded hers in his, thumbing the back of it, squeezing her snug. He knew she was safe, but holding her was euphoric. He was sure he wouldn't dream of her being hacked to pieces in front of him, if he fell asleep like this.

Julius was still awake, perhaps a little nervous himself. He was bloodshot, looking at a book scavenged from the tower; something about minor spirits.

"Your relationship with Beatrice is rather spectacular, Natsuki-kun." Julius was teasing a little bit, but he was more than genuine. Seated on the edge of his cot, Julius leaned back, "Invaluable, in-fact. I'm sure without your help, Beatrice-san," he chuckled, "None of us would be here."

"W..Well, of course, but your thanks are not necessary," Beatrice waved her hand, "I'm just doing what I have to, to keep everyone alive, in-fact."

"If only Puck were as cool and dependable as you Betty~ We wouldn't have had to deal with any this crap to start with."

"D-don't make fun of Bubby, I suppose!"

"That you were a creation of Echidna-san, I'm certainly unsure of how to act. My training as a knight makes me think you're a threat - that I'm bound by duty to..." Julius trailed and shrugged off his threat, "But it's undeniable you're a good spirit, Beatrice-san. It reflects well on your mother, even if I think her character is cause for concern."

Beatrice began to glow brighter and brighter, "M-Mother, I m-mean... i-in-f-fact!"

Subaru laughed, "What are you saying about your own boss's familiar, Julius?"

He smirked, "True, but I was referring to 『The Witch of Envy』 and not Echidna-san. Anastasia-sama's contributor is an invaluable ally. Currently, no one is accusing her of any wrongdoing, so I don't believe I need to act on my gut at this time. I would be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about the future of Anastasia-sama, however. Such a controversial ally will eventually cause some support to falter-"

Subaru shook his head, "Just own it. As long as Anastasia doesn't let anyone guilt her into it, not only can she bolster her own standing with Echidna-chan's help, she can help us out, you kno--" he stopped, "Right. Emilia-san - she's the *actual* leader of this-" Subaru stopped again, "Actually, hold on a sec. I need to be cleared up on something here. We glossed over some very interesting things. Since I'm always unaffected by Gluttony's power to erase names-"

"A curious ability that we have indeed glossed over."

"Tch, true."

"There are many things that happened over the past week that have been glossed over. Please don't overlook the fact that for the sake of over-complication, and not ignorance, some curious things have been ignored up until now. But once we return to our respective routines, I cannot gaurantee the same sort of amnesty."

Subaru swallowed, "Well-"

"I don't mean to interrupt, Natsuki-sama, but I don't want further misunderstanding. My suspicions are my own and they are simply that. However, my magnanimous is perhaps unique to me. Do not rely on continued ignorance to escape scrutiny. When things settle down finally, there will be many questions to answer for. As your friend, I want you to consider your answers before hand. I believe I have seen you at your worst, Natsuki-sama, and I believe you falter when you do not take caution and heed your words. Can you imagine how different things might be, if you had merely acted with the smallest bit of decorum during the first selection ceremony?"

Subaru sighed, "I know I just had this conversation with Otto, but you don't have to call me Natsuki-sama." He wasn't sure how to feel about being Julius's 'friend'. Of course he was, but... yeah. The guy was bringing up a low point at the same time as invoking that 'word'. It was totally his fault he felt these mixed feelings.

Julius ignored him, "The matters concerning the 『Witches of Sin』, I think it has become unavoidable that Natsuki-sama has a deep relationship with them." He knight rose to his feet and strode over to Subaru and his spirit, "Though it will have to wait until we can all convene with Roswaal-sama, I betray my concern for you: You will face increasing challenges from here on out. You must be more careful."

Subaru heaved a sigh of relief.

"That's a lot to respond to, Julius."

He chuckled.

"I didn't say I needed a response. Did I?"

"No, but-"

"Whatever you reasons, I trust you."

"G..Gee, uh, thanks? But you know, you don't just trust someone-"

"You're not simply 'someone' to me, Natsuki-sama. As I said, I've seen you at your worst."

He shook his head, "No, you really haven't."

He smiled.

Subaru sighed, "Look, I just talked to Otto. It's helping that Beako is holding my hand right now, b-but this is way too much masculine energy for one night. I'm going to sleep, okay?"

Beatrice grit her teeth, "Seriously, Subaru is so troublesome, in-fact."

Julius continued, "Conditional trust is not really trust at all. I do not seek to bargain with you, Natsuki-sama. I merely want you to know that...whatever you reasons, I trust you."

"Yeah, I said I get it. Goodnight!"

He chuckled again, "Goodnight, Natsuki-sama."

\---

There were no tears, no expectations, no children, no flowers, no knights, no walls (city or home), no cradle, no streets, no wounds, no foes, no anguish or pain. There was no grand dream, not even a lucid feeling or bad omen. There was simply a smile. 

When Rem woke she was sweating, covered in a film of it. She felt herself up from toe to head. She was freaking out. She couldn't recall the dream she had been having. Was she okay? What was going on? Where was everyone? The strange room freaked her out. The strange darkness was too familiar. Her whole world had been stifled by a forgetful numbness, a blanket of emptiness just like this had been her world for more than one year.

Rem felt her sister's fingers entwine.

"Nee-sama?"

"Go back to sleep, Rem."

"..."

"I was dreaming, but now I can't remember."

"Go back to sleep."

Rem almost laughed wistfully. 

"You know I can't."

"My cute Rem could never sleep with me. I should have known that wouldn't change."

"..."

"Just go back to sleep."

"Nee-sama. This time, it wasn't a bad dream."

"..."

She smiled, "I'm sorry Nee-sama, I can't go back to sleep."

"It's Barusu's fault, isn't it."

"..."

Rem started to roll off the bed. She silently pressed her nude feet into the floor.

"I just need to check on him, Nee-sama."

"Barusu is fine. Go back to sleep."

Rem was careful not to wake anyone else as she left.

"I'll be right back."

Ram just sighed.

\---

_Who are you? ~~Who are you? Who are you?~~_  
_Who are you? ~~Who are you? Who are you?~~_  
_Who are you? ~~Who are you? Who are you?~~_  
_Who are you? ~~Who are you? Who are you?~~_  
_Who are you? ~~Who are you? Who are you?~~_  
_Who are you? ~~Who are you? Who are you?~~_  
_Who are you? ~~Who are you? Who are you?~~_  
_Who are you? ~~Who are you? Who are you?~~_  
_Who are you? ~~Who are you? Who are you?~~_  
_Who are you? _ **Who are you? Who are you?**  
_**Emilia?**_  
  
_I am Emilia._

_I bear that name until I die._  
  
_You were born to be happy._

_I won't become a witch._

_Was I born to bring misfortune unto others?_

_Emilia was born because she was wanted!_

_It's because I love you, Emilia._  


Eyes wide awake, staring into the fuzzy darkness. A maudlin dream unfolded again, Emilia sighed a light sigh in tight relief. 

She mouthed a single word in silence, as if to plead with the gods (wherever they might dwell).

_Wait, stop, it’s dangerous! Well, you may not know me, but he’s an enemy! Leave this to me! You may not know me, but…!_

She sat up and looked around the dead room. She could sense everyone was asleep. And yet she was not having it, she could not close her eyes and revisit that awful dream. She was tired of being rejected, blamed, and accused.

_It's okay Emilia-tan!_ _My name is Natsuki Subaru. Emilia-tan’s one and only knight!_  
  
She touched the floor with her bare feet and pattered out of the room.

\---

It was very late when Shaula pried herself out of bed. She didn't exactly 'rest' the same way everyone else did. If she didn't overexert herself, she didn't need a lot of sleep to recover her energy.

Shaula surveyed the room.

"I should see what Master's up to."

She walked over to his room, quietly prying it open - only to be greeted by a familiar face.

"Hello Beatrice."

"Shaula, I suppose." 

"Do you mind stepping aside? I want to see Master."

"Subaru is sleeping, in-fact."

"He might be cold."

"He's fine. Betty is keeping vigilant."

"That's great. But I was thinking about-"

"No. Go away, I suppose."

Shaula sighed, "I guess it can wait one more night."

Beatrice shut the door. Firmly.

\---

Although Subaru got a full-night's rest and felt the wonderful aches and pains as he creaked open his eyes, nothing could wake him up faster than the sight of Beako sitting in a chair that was far too large for her doll-like body, looking at him with patchwork concern and insincere disinterest.

"Morning, Beako."

"Don't make such a face at Betty, it's disgusting, I suppose." She shoo'd him, "Go wash your face, at the very least!"

He chuckled.

"I should have you know I worked hard all night. Betty guarded you from three attacks, I suppose."

"Attacks? Who tried to attack me?"

She held up three fingers, "I'm sure a conceited womanizer like you could correctly guess the culprits, Subaru." She shoo'd him again, "Get up. Go wash up. Betty is tired of sitting here, I suppose."

"Heh." He pried himself out of bed, staggering over to her, "Come here Beako."

"What are you doing, I suppose! Stay away from me! At least change your clothes and shower! Just what kind of indelicate- h-hhhffffph!"

Although he received a boop on the nose for it, Natsuki Subaru enjoyed the squishy hug of a tsundere loli.

The morning was hectic. Almost everyone was loud and spirited around breakfast. Otto knew a clear route to their newest destination. But there was one snag: Apparently, not only was Roswaal awaiting them.

"Roswaal said it would be a good opportunity to earn some reputation for our faction, so Roswaal went and invited all the other selection candidates to the mansion..." Otto smiled sheepishly, "We probably we should hurry, if we want to have any time to prepare for greeting them."

Everyone: "..."

Subaru groaned, "Th...this is bad. Doesn't Rosi-chi know he's just inviting trouble, making all the candidates meet in one place?!"

All Subaru could think about was the mess that was Pristella.

"Well, of course he does." Subaru answered his own dumb rhetorical question, "That stupid clown. What does he think he's up to?"

Subaru found his spoonless hand clasped in Rem's, "Don't worry, Subarau-sama. Nothing bad will happen."

"I almost feel relieved when I hear you say it, Rem."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now the preamble is over. I have created the perfect chaos-storm.  
> I just wish I had some idea how weird Roswaal's family is, or if they're just "normal" stuck-up nobles. Supposedly they couldn't be trusted around Emilia, so they probably aren't the most trustworthy people.
> 
> Subaru is of course an idiot as usual. He has picked up on the fact people are calling him "-sama" and I almost lead him to ask about the details of what "Subaru-camp" really is, but it's still going to get delayed until he's back 'home'. It's in the next chapter he will learn the full madness that having Emilia's name erased as caused.
> 
> This chapter is still a draft. I need to back and clean up all the typos. I'll probably add a scene about Echidna at the end at some point? It's actually really hard keeping up with so many characters. Meili really had nothing to add to this one, either, but she and Petra will have some scenes together I suppose.


	5. Vicissitude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Fundoshi is Japanese male underwear. Basically, a thong.

And finally, it happened. 

Still in the inn, an adjoining room to the large dining hall, otherwise unoccupied:

"For your image, Subaru-sama, it would probably be a good idea if you arrived to see Roswaal-sama right away, so you can be there to greet the other selection candidates. It'll look kind of bad if you're late to your own party..."

"Not to start with the second thing first, but really, I have to ask, what in the world are we celebrating with the likes of Priscilla? What the hell did he think I accomplished? Don't get me wrong, Rem is a beloved person to me, but to the rest of the world...?"

"Curing Sleeping Beauty Sickness is sort of a notable goal to raise your standing, I guess? No one is sure how to cure it except to use dragon blood? So you performed a miracle people would be curious to hear about?" Otto shrugged, "And-"

"Right. Thanks Otto. But as I was saying, that's secondary. I really don't care about it. Firstly, why would Roswaal care about my image? I don't care what Priscilla thinks of me. Crusch-san I could maybe see wanting to respect, but Felt-chan too? Considering I'm the one who helped Reinhard find her in the first place, I'd expect their Faction Rating of me to be mostly maxed out. I have to be Exalted." Subaru sighed, "Besides, it's E...Emilia... Ah. Right. I keep banging my head into this. Otto, just what is my relationship with Roswaal in this scenario?"

"Your relationship with Roswaal...?" Otto blushed.

"Why are you blushing, Otto."

"Well... why are you asking me that?"

"Why are you blushing, Suwen-san."

"Wah! D-don't suddenly address me like you're- Why do you look like a Gustekan Inquisitor right now?!"

"I have no idea what you're even talking about. Just. What is my relationship with him? Rosi-chi, that asshole. What am I to him?" Subaru rubbed his chin.

"He's your benefactor obviously! Anything else, I don't want to know about!"

"Otto! Don't imply I'd do things that fujoshi would be into with that - that clown!"

"Fu...joshi...? Do you mean fundoshi*?" Otto blushed deeper.

"You idiot! St-stop imagining! Whatever you're imagining! I only have feelings for Rem and-- Emilia! Emilia-tan is my right hand, Rem is my left! They are inseparable! I have no interest in men! None!"

"I know nothing about this Emilia- oh, you mean the elf girl?" Otto grinned slyly, "Natsuki-sama~ I know you're planning to be King, but isn't taking a mistress before you're even married a little dogged? Petra-chan will be upset to see her idol reveal himself as a womanizer."

Subaru blinked.

"I thought I heard you say something suspect just now, Otto..."

"What? What? I didn't say anything improper this time! I haven't spent more than the necessary time with Petra-chan either! She's just a very affable girl! And if you're trying to make yourself seem chaste, protesting this much will only make me doubt you more! Natsuki-sama, everyone knows you're a pervert for crossdressing as a woman! For carrying on about as if you were Reinhard's-"

Subaru didn't hear the rest, he was too focused.

There was a lot to unpack in Otto's outburst. Subaru also wanted to scold Otto for redundantly stating he was crossdressing as a woman. As a man, what else could he crossdress as? But that was beside the point. Although he had crossdressed on a few occasions, several of them had occurred with co-conspirators Garfiel and Otto himself. These incidents were definitely clandestine in nature, so why was he so perturbed by it? Being that Natsuki Subaru only asked questions when the whim naturally struck him, he decided not to press on these concerns, for once targeting Otto's most perplexing remark.

"Otto, you know, I think a number of people have been alluding to...me becoming a king and calling me Natsuki-sama, or Subaru-sama, or Subaru-dono- I never distinctly recall any such reverence being particularly applied to me before, except in very particular circumstances which I generally avoid. And also, I recognize I've been putting off this obvious question for some time, so forgive me if it sounds foolish."

Natsuki Subaru was always good at dressing up a dumb question, or at least, he told himself that. As Ram said, he lacked common sense.

Anyway. He could recall the villagers of Irlam giving him such respect in the past, but among his close allies he was not used to this kind of royal, stiff treatment. It had been bugging him a little bit, but he'd let more pressing things distract him from asking like usual.

Otto giggled, "If you're trying to trick me into saying something that will get me in trouble with Ram-san or Frederica-san, I'll have to decline to self-incriminating myself."

"This isn't a court, Otto. Besides, there isn't a lawyer in all of Lugnica who could protect your lies from me."

"Yes, your ominous Highness, but I still plead not guilty."

Subaru sighed, wracking his brain. Something certifiably amiss. He had a hunch, of course, though the way things were behaving didn't make particular sense. What he was about to say though, was on a similar level of being eaten alive - it wasn't something he had ever thought would occur and he wished it were not true.

"Otto, are you saying I'm a selection candidate, for the position of King of Lugnica, a so-called, 'dragon-maiden'?"

"Yes, Natsuki-sama, that's absolutely correct. I don't think I can get in trouble for saying yes to something so factual? But Natsuki-sama always finds a way to belittle my generosity..."

"Otto, I might make fun of you, but it's all in good fun."

"Good fun for who?! It's not good fun for me!"

Subaru grinned, "Yeah, yeah. Sheesh. I know I can count on you to take all my woe, Otto."

"Will you at least give me the proper coin to buy it off you..."

"I don't use leverage to maintain friendships Otto."

"Natsuki-sama!"

He shook his head.

"What's with that look, Natsuki-sama? You know you can always-"

"When have I ever actually confided in you, Otto?"

"S...surely there are plenty of times, uh."

"You can't name any, can you?"

"Not off the top of my head! You know, I have many responsibilities besides just worrying about your fragile well-being! You should perhaps feel grateful I'm willing to overlook and forget certain memories we've created, Natsuki-sama, or I would have right to hold soooo many grudges against you."

Subaru laughed, particularly remembering the time Otto chucked him off that wagon... and then there was the time Rem murdered him... "I suppose that's a good quality to have. Everyone, in the right circumstance, will make an error."

"Why do you suddenly have such a vindictive, evil gaze? Are you actually a Balor?"

"A what?"

"It's a witch beast."

"I'd rather not know, actually. The fewer official ones in the compendium, the less likely we'll run into a rare spawn."

"I'm not sure that's how it works..."

Subaru sighed. Otto easily pulled him off track. "Anyway. You're telling me that I'm-- a selection candidate. Practically speaking, a Princess."

"A prince more likely, unless Natsuki-sama would...is trying to tell me something...truly unbelievable...?"

"Men can't be 'maidens', Otto."

Otto shrugged, "I can't say for sure about that? Aren't I very maidenly?"

Subaru resisted the urge to make a joke about Otto's virginity. He didn't want to bicker with him about something like that...it felt too easy, too. Or maybe, part of him was terrified that Otto would reveal he wasn't...and it would only make Subaru upset even Otto was making more progress in this world than him!

"Why do you say that so proudly? Don't you have any pride?"

"Natsuki-sama, you have surprisingly retrograde values."

"Yeah. Well. Anyway." He brushed off his own shoulder, blushing under Otto's chastising glare, "What about-"

"I wasn't there, when you were found, selected; or even when it was made apparent to everyone in the castle that you were not, in-fact, a girl. So I can't speak from experience what took place. However," Otto was truly trying hard not to laugh like a simpleton, "-it is legendary. Actually, it probably elevated your status so much that it made you a threat to the other candidates from day one. A male cannot be chosen to be a selection candidate, but here you are, defying the rules of the prophetic stone. People are even talking if being a virgin is a rule that must be followed? I'd say more, but it's too disgusting to repeat. But if you're curious, there's a bar I-"

Subaru tuned out Otto's extraneous detail again. It wasn't important.

Subaru sighed. He could only imagine what his previous, idiot-self would have done to have wandered into a ceremony like that dressed as a girl, perhaps carried upon Reinhard's shoulders up to the altar and recognized. He really didn't want to know it, for when this misunderstanding was erased from history, hopefully this would all just be overlooked as a good joke.

"It's all a fabrication anyway Otto. None of that actually happened. That's clearly...some artifice as a result of...it's a spurious delusion, in-fact, caused by the gaping hole in the world that is Emilia-tan."

"Uh, sure it is, Natsuki-sama."

Subaru sighed, "Well, thanks for clearing that up anyway, that makes sense now. I'm...without Emilia...the leader of this army."

"I'd hardly call a clown, a collection of maids and little girls, and a ground dragon an army, Natsuki-sama."

"And just where do you fit in that array, precisely?"

"I'm obviously the ground dragon." Otto huffed, "As if an outside observer could tell the difference."

"Patrasche is way cuter than you though, Otto."

"The way you phrased that is very suspicious, Natsuki-sama!"

"...just call be Subaru, you idiot," he sighed, "Listen Otto, I don't care what people might have told you. I'll never be King. That's Emilia-tan's job. She's going to rule Lugnica and..."

...

...

...

He would be right at her side, right? ...that would technically make him a King.

"Okay, so, I know I just said I'll never be King... but, technically, I guess in theory..."

"Why are you backpedaling from something you said with that agonizing deathgrip on my shoulder?! Let me go you baffoon!"

Subaru sighed. Who was he kidding. At the rate things were going, if he could remain Emilia-sama's knight, that would maybe be sufficient? The best ending he could realistically hope for though is maidservant, bootlicker, or maybe if he were lucky, he'd get to be her children's nanny? For real, if Emilia became Queen, would a country as large and as powerful as this one allow a nameless dreg like himself become its King? Even if Emilia were selected, did that mean she could just do whatever she wanted? He had never thought through any of that stuff.

Because he himself was spurious and delusional? No, of course he always knew in the back of his mind it would never be so easy. Falling for a girl like Emilia was a waste of his life; any objective observer would be cheering for him to run off with Rem already and start a family around a picketed home in the quiet countryside. Nobody would begrudge him, especially since Emilia was now no longer in any immediate danger.

Natsuki Subaru was someone who could not plan for anything. Supposing he was still in Japan, he would have no idea what college he would attend, what skill he would major in; he would be lucky to make it to university with enough clothes and supplies to last him until the first weekend. He was still so slothful, his diligence only extending to the here and now. He did not have the cunning, crafty mind of Roswaal, the curiosity of Echidna, or the wisdom of...

Well, okay, maybe he liked to think he was reasonably wise at this point, even if he didn't subscribe to his own bullshit most of the time.

"I'm sorry Otto," Subaru laughed-

And Otto brushed aside his hand, decking him.

Subaru flew to the ground. 

"Huh?"

Wiping his bloody lip, Subaru looked up at the towering Otto, who was...rubbing his fist, looking quite pained himself.

"Heh."

"What's with that smirk! I just bludgeoned you with my fist! Are you some sadomasochist or something Subaru-sama?! You're not supposed to like pain! And it's your fault I'm like this! I'm not particularly strong and your head is as thick as a boulder! I think I just chipped a knuckle!"

"You're fine, I didn't hear anything break."

"That you're more concerned about my knuckle is not putting my mind at ease!"

"Then why did you punch me!"

"Because I'm so hecking tired of you, Subaru-sama!"

"At least swear like a man, Otto."

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" he pointed straight at him, "Just tell me what's on your mind for once! It's infuriating! You are more inscrutable than any beast! I would have an easier time coaxing the truth out of a witch beast or even a lesser spirit!"

Subaru just smiled.

"Don't smile like that! That twisted, sinister smile that acts like it knows no limit to pain!"

Otto is pretty empathetic, he realized. It had to come with that special blessing of his. Subaru sighed again, dragging himself to his feet, conveniently ignoring the hand Otto offered to him.

"Do you just ignore someone's hand when they offer it to you, just to spite them? To mock them?"

Patting his shoulder, Subaru calmed him down.

"That you care is plenty enough, Otto. Sorry, I was just - thinking about Emilia-tan. It's nothing too serious. Just thinking...yeah. It's pretty hopeless with her, isn't it?"

"Wh-Why are you asking me?"

"I'm not trying to set any flags with you Otto, sheesh." Subaru was just exasperated with all this forced drama! "Just...yeah. It's nothing-"

"The hell it's nothing! It's obviously bothering you! Oi, you're just carrying on like I didn't just punch you to the ground! Aren't you a knight?! Suba-"

"Well. Yeah. It is," he said it so easily, "I love her. I love her so much. Emilia-- she's-- it's worse than having your heart crushed, it's worse than having your throat stabbed, it's worse than being trampled by a wagon, it's worse than being eaten alive, it's worse than forgetting yourself. I love her so much that looking at her makes me sick. It's not the kind of spring or summer love you think of as a vacation. It's the kind of sickness for which there is no medicine, that not even dragon's blood would cure it. The grass can grow again, but my love's a witch that blights the earth. So even if I die, it won't chase the clouds away. Even if I die over and over, it's nothing compared to the blue smiles and browns that...to call it a feeling is wrong; a feeling doesn't make any sense, saying that I love her isn't even enough. Of course you should love people, you shouldn't have any reservation for that, loving with a compromise just isn't love at all...loving her is what makes sense, but it's not logical either, it's just - my whole world is meaningless without her; everything I've ever done, or ever do, or ever would do, wouldn't make sense without Emilia. If she were gone-- truly-- I wouldn't be anything anymore."

Otto seemed to drop whatever he was holding to make his fist straighter. His jaw hung agape.

"S...Subaru-sama," Otto was clearly concerned with the way Subaru was so concretely seeming to...describe...some of those things...

He wiped one eye, looking away, "Yes?"

"When did you become a poet."

"F-Fuck you Otto!" 

And suddenly Otto was against the wall. He was laughing terribly. "No, seriously, fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! You stupid-"

He was giggling hysterically, "Subaru! I'm sorry! I just- the way you gushed- it was so- so- so like you, and so much- not- you were so- so perfectly- and completely- totally-"

In the back of his mind, this scene felt oddly familiar. And karmic.

Something creaked.

"I was stupid to tell you anything! Like it was a big deal anyway, before all this you already knew I loved Emilia-tan! I wouldn't have said it so forcefully except I had to make it that clear! I love Emilia-tan! I love her! Okay? Do you get it? I love her! And she's a pain in the ass! And I love her anyway! She's useless, she's a pain, always causing me no end of worry, but-"

"Huh...?"

"But I love Emilia-tan! Everything! I wouldn't want anything less! Or more!" ...well there was Rem, but that was another one of those 'think about it afterward' problems. "I'd be lost without her! Do you understand?! That is it, so now you know why I'm down! So you can quit worrying about me! My love, it's just my stupid, myopic, selfish-"

"Su...Subaru?"

They turned around, finding Emilia and Rem in the doorway.

The girls shared a look. There was really too much in that look to qualify. Even quantifying the myriad of emotions would be challenging. Subaru knew girls were created from a different set of blueprints, so whatever emotions they might be going through likely hadn't even been discovered yet by the male-dominated field of scientific research.

Though Subaru was pretty confident he spied...something between wrath and envy in Rem's stare.

And in Emilia's...?

"J...Just what is going on h-here?"

\---

Again, Otto and Subaru were confined to a room, just themselves. To Otto, this was hell. Definitely. To Subaru? Well, he was a bit more calm, but only because he was currently in a state of denial.

"I'm sorry I caused you to react like that, Subaru."

"Yeah, well. It's my fault. I got way too loud."

"It's my fault for making fun of you."

"Yeah? Well, I deserved it."

Otto sighed, "Great, now you sound even more down..."

"Yeah? Well, this was bound to happen eventually anyway."

The scene was over rather quickly. Otto explained they were wrapping up and preparing to depart for the mansion. But _obviously_ , what had just transpired was significant. Emilia looked ghastly, positively haunted. Rem? She looked murderous, or scheming, or betrayed. Even Otto could tell it was severe. 

Without memories of Emilia, Rem definitely felt like she was being scorned.

With an admission of his feelings, Emilia was definitely upset she was causing Subaru so much torment. She would definitely start blaming herself for not being able to reciprocate his feelings, even if they were utterly transparent, Subaru had never gone to great lengths to betray how they weighed on him. He had been so patient with her, but for just a brief moment, he snapped. Even if it was just a little outburst, Subaru knew such things would paint brightly in Emilia's mind. He knew the tremendous empathy she had for others.

"I'll just patch it over with them."

"I don't think it will be that easy."

"Yeah. You're right about that." Subaru sighed, "Everything is a mess until I restore Emilia's name." He looked down at his hands, "I should just do that right now. It will fix everything-"

"Restore her name? Ram-san was telling me about that...you can do such a thing?"

"I think I can. Yeah. Let's see-"

"The way Ram-san was explaining it to me, it sounded dangerous."

"I can't say I know exactly how I did it-" it definitely had something to do with the gluttony witch factor of Louis Arneb inside him, "-but given enough tries, maybe I can replicate it without killing myself."

"Don't say such a morbid thing to casually."

"Heh. Right. Sorry, I'm really not...myself lately." He frowned, "I think I changed a little..."

"You seem to be acting just as I remember, at least, perhaps you're acting too much like yourself...?" Otto shook his head, "Listen, we can't dally here for Roswaal-sama is going to be really mad at me."

"Yeah, you said as much. Who cares."

"Do you want Priscilla-sama to burn down the mansion when she's disrespected by a lack of your presence...?"

"..."

He had a point. Priscilla was dangerous and unpredictable.

"Fine. Fine. Fine." Subaru sighed, "I guess I can try to address all this once we're...definitely safe within the walls of the mansion."

"Great! So- we can go in my wagon, while the others catch up."

"Yeah. You can get me there faster and make it. Understood. Though, just me?"

"If you bring any more, it will slow us down."

Everything had been rolling with the same sort of rhythm this whole time. Subaru was just that kind of character now. For there to be a speedbump...something truly novel had to happen. 

So Subaru just lifted an eyebrow at Otto's suggestion.

As if Subaru would create another scene where he would trip flags with Otto. Just the two of them? He had enough of that.

"As if I'm going to leave Emilia and Rem behind. It's already bad enough considering Beatrice, or even Anastasia. You don't seem to understand that "leaving people behind" is not something Natsuki Subaru can do anymore, right? Do you know what kind of trouble that got me into? Do you want me to detail everything I wrecked by leaving Crusch and Rem to the safety of a bunch of NPCs?"

"Uh...Subaru, you're getting testy again."

He sighed.

"But I get your point. But you know, you also can't just...protect everyone all the time, right? People have to live their lives."

He knew that. Obviously. Obviously, forever wasn't possible. But at least until...? Until, what? When? When Emilia became Queen? Is that when this would end? When Satella released him, could he rest then? He had no answers. And so Otto's reasoning prevailed.

"I'll compromise with you Otto." He pointed to the door, "Emilia. Rem. Beatrice. They have to come with me. I will never be separated from them for any unreasonable amount of time, until...at least until...Emilia has Puck. And Rem has...something. Two horns. Three horns."

"I'm not sure about either of those, but I guess we'll still make it if we...leave right now?"

"Yeah. Right now."

Otto smiled, "Great."

"..."

Otto kept smiling, "So...let's...get...going."

Subaru wasn't moving.

"S...Subaru-sama?"

"Sorry, sorry, I was just thinking." He clapped his shoulder, "Thanks Otto."

"..."

Otto sighed, "You're exhausting. You know that, right?"

"Says the guy who sucker punched me because I wouldn't tell him how I was _feeling_."

"You're never going to let go of that, are you?"

"Nah, I will someday. Natsuki Subaru believes in penitence."

"Tch. You're an ass. And really twisted."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter. My hands are still recovering from some abuse~  
> A little more preamble that moves things along. Maybe a lil' melodramatic, but it was fun.  
> Again, terribly unproofread. Gotta clean this mess up.


	6. 夕立

It came down just in passing, like a bucket had been dumped on all of them. They ran to Otto's carriage as the downpour started to flood the streets. Droplets more numerous than stars soaked into their skin.

Subaru stopped to look up at the sky. For a flicker, he remembered.

In Japan this kind of rain was common, called yuudachi - even if through the whole day there had been no clouds of any sort, then at evening clouds suddenly formed and a hasty, premature, blinding rain would soon follow. It was only morning now, but this kind of rain still invoked a restless feeling like that.

Bullets of rain evaporating into a fine mist, the figures of his darting friends bleary and watery, their forms almost vanishing before his eyes. Ephemeral dashing and horizontal, kaleidoscopic churning. 

Rem stopped and turned to gaze at him, her eyes shining in the foamy mists. She lifted up her hand, waving it like she was hailing a distant ship.

"Subaru-sama!"

He couldn't stand still like this with Rem yelling at him to move forward. Just always, he was tying up and then deciding to depart. It was only a little further, anyway. 

They reached their destination, the metallic coils of the rippling waves of water on the ground squashing their frantic voices. As soon as they got inside the carriage the rain started to let up. Although it was nice that the weather was returning to normal already, the damage was already done. Everyone was deluged. Packed into the moist wagon, Otto wringed his clothes into a bucket, groaning and whinging while everyone else was stunned (and freezing).

"We should have just waited," Emilia said, panting and dripping.

"It looked like it was going to get worse! So I made the heroic call to charge forth!"

Subaru sighed at Otto, "I usually trust your instincts Otto, but this time..." he shook his head, "We're here, but it's a pyrrhic victory."

"A what victory? Look, a victory is a victory s'far as I'm concerned." Otto looked away, "Listen, I don't often lead, if's the mistake of an actual leader to let me call the shots; so that makes this your fault, Subaru-sama."

Subaru laughed weakly, "You're being a little too forceful in your reasoning, but I'll give you some credit, Otto. You're a little better than you're allowing yourself."

Otto cheered up, "Really?!"

"Of course, you're wise enough to recognize I should be the one in charge."

"..."

The humor was fleeting. Rem was clutching his hand, her fingers practically biting into the bone. Come to think of it, he probably should have found a moment alone with Rem. They hadn't had one since she'd been awakened. Leave it to his braindead self to prioritize Otto's needs over something so pressing.

Subaru looked at her: Rem's entirety encased in fluid. She shone like a sombre, blue moon. Her cheeks were red, her eyes puffy and starlit; all of her swollen like a lake after a monsoon. Her clothes that clutched - black becoming white, white becoming black. He could see skin he ought not to see: her panties and lack of a bra, as he knew Roswaal's perverted uniform did not allow, all swollen in the wet muck.

Nothing so soggy was ever this beautiful before.

Rem's breasts were opals, much like her shoulders, except even rounder and softer, so round and full of life, like life was now full of her. Her nipples were turgid and thick, protruding out or nearly vertical, their navels slightly tucked inward. Subaru was briefly transfixed, but helpfully returned from a realm of 'forgetting to breathe' by those very biting hands.

"Ow!"

It was not Rem's hands that bit him, however, but Emilia's. Entrenching into his other hand, she squeezed him - pinched him, her fingers like small snakebites. Their fingers were laced and he hadn't realized it - a development that he could not recall happening before.

"Emilia?" if there was anything that could tear his eyes away from that, it was the half-elf pinching him, "What's...?"

She too was soaking wet. Her silver hair matted in clumps around her neck, bangs and and and and and and -- and tresses all coagulated against her face. That solid white dishdasha was not particularly useful when wet, completely...from head to toe...Emilia's cloud-white thighs, the light buckles of muscle cushioning those graceful stems, a heart-shaped gap between them, and the wide burgeon of her hips driving the snow above... so wet, her flower-like body bowing, those pink labellums pouting in puffy ire at him as he stared, becoming engorged on the sight of her teary, melting icicles. Emilia was somehow the perfect amalgamation of petite and swervy.

Dripping. Emilia was dripping. Sluicing. Thin rivulets of-

Draining. Rem was-

Rem squeezed his hand again, pressing the wet slush of herself into him-

Emilia retaliated and squeezed back, pressing a cushion into his side, Emilia's waterlogged breast-

Their bodies were a completed circuit and in three, two, on-

Beatrice grabbed Subaru and immediately, the four of them were dry. Steam vapors ejected outside the cracked windows of the carriage.

"Th...thanks Beako. I think you just deactivated a runaway thermonuclear reaction."

"Betty doesn't know what you're talking about, I suppose. I merely employed common sense, in-fact."

Subaru really wanted to pet her, but both of his arms were still occupied... Subaru grinned at both of them in equal measure, then looked at Otto with 'please save me' eyes.

"S-Subaru," Emilia finally managed, an incomprehensibly knotted expression there, "Sorry, I was just...shivering."

She let go.

With one side of the arms race (pun intended) conceding, Rem sighed and released him. They all stood in the motionless carriage, Otto still looking like a drowned rat.

"Why didn't you dry me too?"

"Betty's sorry Otto-kun, but my control over fire magic is not the greatest, even for such a simple spell," she shrugged, "But I can help you, too if you give me just a moment. Come here, I suppose."

Otto was courteously dried off and then peered outside, deliberately avoiding the bomb in the carriage that nearly just detonated, "Looks like everything did just clear up so suddenly. I hope the weather doesn't do that again. So let's get going before it does."

Subaru sighed, "Thank you Otto."

"Yep, yep! Well, have a seat, we're moving now! This is an express route to the main mansion! No stops along the way. Keep your bodies inside the carriage at all times."

He excused himself in a hurry, darting up front and setting his things down. Patrasche was not with them and already Subaru had his doubts this was a great plan. But he trusted Anastasia and Ram the most out of all of them to arrive safely. Leaving them with Echidna sounded like a bad idea, but...

He looked out through the carriage's back door window, his thoughts drifting to Meili, Shaula, Julius-

"Subaru, don't worry," she patted his arm, "Everything's fine now."

"H-huh?"

She smiled up at him, "Rem can tell Subaru-sama is worried about the others. But it's all fine now. You can relax."

"H...hah. You read me so easily."

An all powerful hero like Reinhard or Reid could fight and kill with their swords (or chopsticks, he supposed),

But girls could slay men with just their smiles.

And Rem just smiled.

\---

The carriage started to move and Subaru took a seat first, his butt rocking into a cushioned bench. He looked up at Rem, Beatrice, and Emilia. The three girls exchanged looks. Their visages on one another were not lost on him. Then they formed a unified front against him. The fact was, there was just enough room on his left and on his right for one person each. Of course there was a seat on the opposite side of the carriage, but who--

The ground shifted and Emilia 'fumbled' first, suddenly bumping in next to him. Hip to hip. The earlier moment of gawking not lost on either of them, though perhaps he had not realized until now that his staring had been reciprocated.

Subaru lanced straight into her immaculate eyes. Emilia was...blushing? No, he was definitely misreading her expression. There was some sort of hardness to it, a knitting in those pale brows. In the next breath, Rem did not stumble. In-fact, she saw Emilia's move and decided to up the ante by clarifying with her-

No, Beatrice again prevented a catastrophe. She hopped in his lap first.

Emilia made an 'o' with her lips. Rem blinked, then casually slid into his opposite side. There was a silent sigh that plumbed 'tween them. Subaru's hand reached for Beatrice's head. He patted her. His other arm encircled her waist, bringing her backside to his chest. He didn't dare 'thank' her in words, but he was glad Beako was on Team Subaru. If she was picking favorites, he wasn't sure how he'd defuse the situation.

"You uh, worked very very hard Beako, so of course you get my lap."

"Hmph. Betty does not mind this, in-fact, this seat is the safest one in-case the weather should suddenly shift again, and also recognize this is an efficient means of regulating your mana while we travel, I suppose."

"Heh, right," Subaru's fingers reached into her scalp, stroking her.

Beatrice wrinkled slightly, hiding a blush by swallowing as hard as she could muster. Her cream hair and extravagant outfit tittered with rhythmic purr.

"I'm amazed...Beatrice," Rem was just in awe of it, "I've missed so much. Everything is different from how I left it." She put a hand on Subaru's, "I've already heard a little about how you two contracted, but I'd love to have the entire story, sometime."

Subaru explained, "The world just wasn't right without you, Rem."

Emilia tilted her head past just to get a good look at the maid over Subaru's shoulder. She nodded in agreement.

"But at least not everything went sour while you were sleeping. This development was necessary for saving Beako. The whole story is a little long-winded, but I could tell you about it when we get home." He wanted to avoid talking about some of those things with Emilia around, since he was afraid it might depress her, "The forbidden library is gone now, so Beako's stuck following my sorry ass around."

"Whether or not Betty was saved or the one doing the saving - I recall the circumstances much differently, I suppose, but if you wish to keep it ambiguous for your own sick male pride, I suppose I might enable that loathsome aspect of you a little longer."

"When Betty's working so hard to stay mad, that's how you know she's really happy." Subaru chimed, patting her head even more, "But she's a very good partner. She didn't require any house training and loose clumps of hair aren't shedded everywhere in the the summer. She also has the cutest smile that blooms only if you give her enough sunlight."

"..."

"Betty wonders what deplorable thing you are comparing her to, in-fact."

"My Beako's obviously the cutest, most adorable, bestest...approximation of a kitten that my sorry excuse for a loser ass like me could ever ask for."

"..."

A shriveled, pickled strawberry for a face, Beatrice's voice shredded itself.

"D-Disgusting. Ab-absolutely- ne'er i-in all my y-years, have I ever had the misfortune of knowing such a s-sorry loser, I suppose." She pinched his arm, "Don't you dare liken me to Bubby ever again! W-We're nothing alike!"

Emilia giggled as she suddenly took Beatrice's little hand. She stroked the girl's palm.

"It's okay," she shined, "You know, the relationship you and Subaru have, it makes me soooo nostalgic. Puck and I...would pal around soooo much like you two."

"Who even says 'pal around' anymore, Emilia-tan?"

When he turned to meet her face with that smiling quip, he was startled by what he found. And again his thoughts revolved around the moment just before. What he had shouted so stupidly. His beloved half-elf maiden was good at putting on a facade of strength, but he could easily see the sudden yuudachi in her eyes. He could also feel Rem subtly prod his hand with her own, as if to summon his focus elsewhere.

Yet he wanted to stare. To interrogate those stormy eyes. What was behind them? What had he been missing? He had called her useless. Said he loved her. Didn't she want to demand what he meant by any of that? Or was she going to overlook it and carry on with eyes like those? He-

"You knew Bu-- Puck?" Beatrice was electrified, "What do you mean nostalgic? Do you know where he is?!"

"Emilia-tan's actually a lot older than she looks," Subaru tried to explain, distractedly, "But she's still incredibly youthful and sprightly. She's actually Puck's current contractor, just as soon as we put things right with his crystal, you'll get to see him again."

Somehow, those encouraging words did little to soothe the brewing storm. Emilia just sank even more. Beatrice was struggling to hide her excitement.

"If Emilia-san is his spiritualist, then what happened to Puck's crystal?" Rem looked incredibly confused, "I do remember him playing with Beatrice-sama not too long ago."

Beatrice was also surprised, those words spurring more recent memories inside her. She looked very confused.

"Let's try to avoid talking about that kind of stuff right now Rem," he traced small circles with just his fingertips, carefully spiraling gently into Beatrice's scalp, "Having your name eaten causes the hastily-filled 'holes' in your memory to get very agitated. Usually it causes a headache."

"I see."

"Honestly, I'm surprised people aren't falling unconscious from the pain. Emilia-tan is a really important part of our lives." He refused to say 'was', "When you were gone Rem, I had to avoid a lot of important things so as not to cause Ram distress."

"It's a little embarrassing when you say such a heartfelt thing about Nee-sama's tender heart, Subaru-sama."

"Well, it's the truth. I think- no, it's plainly obvious how important you are to each other."

"We tried to compensate for each other's faults a little too much, I think," Rem said quietly, "So it's true..."

"I don't think it's like that."

"Emilia-san?"

"You're partners. In much the same way Beatrice and Subaru are. Of course she needs you."

"H-Hey! Don't go floating such ponderous words, I suppose."

"Don't fight it Be-a-ko~"

"Cease petting me like a small and fragile creature, I suppose. Betty is made of tougher mettle."

"You mean these diamond-tipped drills?"

Sproooooinggggghghghgh.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"S...Su- Su-"

Emilia covered her mouth with one fragile hand. Her sudden, quaking giggles infected Rem, who then-

The carriage lurched like a coaster, smashing hard into the ground, shaking and wobbling from side to side (much like said drills just had)! Emilia squeaked as she fell forward-- Subaru skidded out of his seat, Rem globbing hold onto him-- The world skidded and shook in upheaval, the wheels clattered to a halt, tearing up sodden soil-

"Kyaaaaaah!"

"Gy-gy-ghhhhhhhhhhhyaaaaaaaaanh!"

Otto came bursting inside from the driver's door, "Is everyone all right?!"

He found Beatrice safely held up off the floor, Subaru's arms vertical beams holding her up, his fingers trained into her sides, her long coat draping over him. On his face was seated Emilia, his nose situationed right ... well. And Rem was somehow flipped sideways, her face smeared into the inside of his thigh, her breasts crushed up against his ribs.

"As an isekai protagonist, wasn't it my responsibility to invent and popularize common-sense things like seatbelts and child-seats, already?"

\---

Of course the crash had simply been a bad bump. Otto went charging through the trees with such a large wagon, so obviously it was inevitable a small event like that would turn up. They were back on their way in short order without incident.

Subaru was now alone on one side, Beatrice in Rem's lap, while Emilia was alone in the corner, her entire face scalding red, her eyes hidden by a long shadow cast by her bangs. Rem was hiding her mouth with one hand, holding Beatrice with the other.

"I'm, um, sorry?" Though he didn't know why he was apologizing for what happened.

"At least you were courteous enough to keep your beloved Betty safe, I suppose."

"This is all obviously Otto's fault, I don't know why you're all glaring at me."

"I heard that!"

"If you can spare the attention to our conversation back here, then pay more attention to driving! Do you realize what kind of damage was dealt to my relationship with Emilia-tan and Rem?!"

"There wasn't any damage dealt, you lucky dumbass!"

"What are you talking about? Just focus on driving, you dummy!"

"I am! I am! Hmph!"

Subaru shook his head, unable to parse things. Emilia was suddenly holding her knees up to her face, disappearing into a singularity. 

Rem coughed, "S-so, Beatrice. If Subaru-sama is your contractor, that must mean you've gone on some manly adventures with him?"

"Manly adventuers?" Subaru laughed, "Just what do you think I've been up to?"

"Well, you look attractive in those clothes, Subaru-sama." She spotted the whip secured into his side and steeled the little wobble in her voice, "Rem is also c-curious about the purpose of that whip."

"Betty isn't sure what fantasies you have about Subaru, Rem, but he is perhaps the least manly contractor you could ever imagine a man being, I suppose."

"J-just what kind of traitorous thing are you saying about me like I'm not even here, Be-a-ko!"

She smirked, "If you are concerned that he has been picking up girls left and right, like some storybook knight of fanciful romance and splendorous achivement, then you needn't fear. Betty can already tell Subaru doesn't have that sort of relationship with Emilia-san, I suppose." She continued, "Betty has read many tales of romance, in-fact, so you could consider this analysis au-thor-i-ta-tive~"

"Hyn!" Emilia made a very strange 'hiccup'-like sound.

"Beako! Can't we just have a nice ride to the mansion?" Subaru deflated, "That you could see how easily Emilia-tan and I-"

"S'not true!" Emilia squeaked up, suddenly, coming out of her shell, "S-soooo not...n-not true!"

Beatrice relaxed into Rem's lap, the oni girl not so surprisingly comforted by Beatrice's assertion.

"What isn't true?"

"O-Obviously I...Subaru and I... I haven't read romance stories. I certainly d...don't reeeeally know anything like that. But..."

"But what, I suppose?"

"..."

"Emilia-tan," Subaru cooed, "You don't need to push yourself."

"No!" Emilia shook her head, "...I. Cl-clearing up what you said before. Before we left-"

"Please don't push yourself! I- Otto made me mad, saying something dumb to me like always, so he- just made me...say those stupid things. I didn't mean to-"

"Were they really stupid, Subaru-sama?"

He wrenched his focus away, catching Rem's sagely smile.

"..."

"Because Rem doesn't think they were stupid." She confronted him with a clarifying starkness, "I think they were beautiful. I didn't want to think you had feelings for anyone other than me. But I think it's rather obvious you love Emilia-san."

"I..."

"If you take back those words, if you don't mean them...No, Rem's Subaru is entirely incapable of doing that. And Rem's Subaru is capable of so much, like rescuing herself or Beatrice-sama from a certain kind of oblivion...so that is indeed a kind of inerasable truth. Promises are easily broken. Pacts and contracts are too magical. A vow just isn't what I mean. There maybe isn't a word for it. But. Rem's Subaru is always honest and never runs away. His words aren't just spilled water."

Subaru swallowed. He didn't understand why Rem was saying all this. Clearly, it wasn't in her interest.

"If there is anything that which makes Subaru's adventures manly, it's simply that."

Feeling his face become raw and stung, Subaru averted his thoughts. Distracted by Rem's and Subaru's exchange, Emilia's words were caught up in her throat. She choked them down. She was clearly relieved to escape them. It was also at that point that the carriage slowed to a halt.

Subaru heard Otto give a muffled greeting to someone scampering outside. Within seconds, the back door was open and a familiar face was stumbling inside.

"Petra-chan?"

"Su- Su- Subaruuuuuuuuuuuu-samaaaaaaaaa!"

Petra, in all her awkward growth as a teen, came stomping toward him; graceless and fumbling in ecstasy, staggered right into his lap. She straddled the seat, throwing her arms around his neck and finding an ecstasy in fumbling.

"Ah- ah- P-Petra-chan- ah-"

"Subaru-sama! Subaru-sama! You made it back! You're okay! Everything's okay! Rem-onee-chan is--" 

She steered over her shoulder at the oni and immediately leapt off. Stumbling, she kept running and flew into Beatrice's and Rem's-

"Have you lost all sense, I suppose?!"

"Petra-chan!" 

Rem one-armed Petra, careful to keep Beatrice from falling out of her lap too. The overly, aggressively friendly maid girl sporting a slightly more mature figure, her hair let all the way down; she nuzzled and giggled, gluing herself to the pair. Rem was rather taken aback. She complimented Rem's beauty, painting a portrait Subaru wished to hang in a museum somewhere. The sight of it made him wonder if Rem wanted to start a family someday.

"Subaru said he'd fix you! And he did! I knew he would! Rem-onee-chan! I'm so, so, so sorry for forgetting about you!"

"It's hardly your fault, seeing as we didn't...neither myself nor nee-sama, were that friendly-"

But Petra did not allow Rem to lower herself. She climbed up taller from her snare, riding up nose-to-nose. She unleashed a coquettish smile, pure blithe innocence and- wait.

"Rem-onee-chan," she *mouthed* those words, not speaking them, but expecting the demon girl to lip-read them, "I'm not just giving him up to you."

"..."

Subaru couldn't understand the unsettling silence, or why Beatrice was suddenly aghast, but it was probably some kind of girl thing. As only a hobbyist in truth-seeking, he did not feel compelled to press for answers. 

\---

He stared at the trio, Rem reeling in Petra and also reeling, herself.

"So you were waiting here for us to come? How did you know we'd burst out of the tree line like that? Don't tell me Ros-chi sent you on some stupid suicide mission to come find me, too!"

"Huh? No, it's just a coincidence, Subaru-sama! You're super close to the mansion!"

Subaru didn't think Petra'd lie to him, but he also didn't think she was being entirely forthcoming. It seemed a little suspicious. But...

"And why aren't your stationed with Frederica at the other manor? Doesn't that place need cleaning? It's going to get dusty without a maid to care for it."

"Roswaal-sama summoned everyone to the main family estate, Subaru-sama! It's going to be a huge, massive gala! Everyone's invited! Even Reinhard-sama is coming!" Petra was shining, "Everyone's going to be wearing pretty dresses and come in huge stagecoaches with the brightest, prettiest ponies and everything!"

"...Reinhard? Tch. Just what is Ros-chi planning?"

"Gala?"

"I don't know but it's going to be *awesome*!"

In that exact moment, Petra was on her feet again and striking a familiar disco-inspired pose; one arm stretched out to the heavens, one knee bent. It looked quite cute with her small stature and maidenly 'do. Subaru was a little worried he'd rubbed off on Petra some, she was being entirely too eccentric and exuberant for Lugnica's standards. He reached out and patted her on the head.

"Petra-chan. How is everyone?"

"Excited! They're so excited! Frederica-sama and Clind-sama both cried when they could remember Rem-onee-chan!"

Subaru frowned, "Frederica I'm okay with, but Clind shedding a tear for Rem's sake leaves a kind of taste in my mouth that's like raw-"

"How is Roswaal-sama, Petra-chan?"

"-sewage."

"You did not have to finish that disparaging statement, Subaru-sama."

"Rem, is there no way you can go back to using -kun? And please don't spare any pity for that guy, he's definitely some kind of lurking, loli-loving antagonist."

Just saying those words made him tremble.

Clind had trained him in parkour and he was a fine enough servant, but something about that guy made Subaru unsettled.

"I'm sorry, Subaru-sama. Both of your requests would be improper."

Emilia chucked lightly, sitting straight up with a faint smile once more. Subaru noted how regal and practiced she looked, like she was concentrating on balancing a pencil atop her nose.

"Roswaal-sama is really excited. Even Garf couldn't stop smiling. I think he has a thing for you, Rem-onee-chan!"

"...Garfiel? The hell? He has a thing for Ram! What kind of half-hearted crush is one that you can direct at an entirely different girl? And what about Mimi?!"

"I don't think it's a crush, Subaru-sama. Garfiel is merely acting nostalgic, I'm sure. I was at least partially at fault for Nee-sama getting close to him."

Subaru furrowed, "Close? Ram bullies him almost half as much as she does me."

"..."

Rem would not betray her beloved Nee-sama, not even with a single bad word. Her love was uncompromising to a fault.

\---

Roswaal would not spare any expense for his ancestral family home. Monolithic towers choked the heavens above, while fortress-like walls sank deep into hell below. Falcons and cherub gargoyles stood watch over a triple-layered gate, with shady-looking mercenaries standing watch. They gave everyone in the carriage a glance over before letting them inside.

"I can only imagine how the early episodes with Emilia-tan and I would have gone, if you'd had me nursed back to health in an Alcatraz like this, Emilia-taaaan."

"I sooo don't know what you're talking about, Subaru."

"To be fair, things didn't really go all that well anyway," Subaru wondered aloud how he'd almost lost his mind anyway, "I guess it wouldn't have made much difference."

Emilia constricted in consideration, every muscle in her face crunching up. "You say some really weird things Subaru, sometimes."

"Just sometimes?" 

Otto appeared, holding the door open.

Rem stood, holding Petra's hand, and beamed, "I love Subaru's eccentricities." 

"Yeah! His...eccen...eccen...his...uh," Petra seemed to know what they were talking about, "His weirdness!"

Emilia was astonished by the way Rem so simply said 'love'.

"Smart girl. Try it again though, e-ccen-trici-ties."

"Don't use me as some vocab lesson Rem! Gah!"

"Eccentricities!" Petra cheered.

"Good Girl."

Beatrice stood at his feet, "Your eccentricities do not bother me so much, I suppose."

She was holding up both her hands in a 'pick me up' gesture. Subaru was getting parental vibes, his paternal(re:maternal) instincts kicking in. He picked her up, hoisting Beatrice on his hip. 

"I'm sorry our relationship is so lopsided, Beako. This is the most I can do for you."

"All relationships are like this, I suppose. You shouldn't mind it, in-fact." She shrugged, "I never expected to get even this much out of this arrangement."

"Your brand of kuudere lolibaba love is colder than death, Beako."

"Don't tease her anymore Subaru," Emilia walked ahead, "You two look so cute together. Just carry on nicely like that for me, okay?"

Subaru nodded in defeat, "If Emilia-tan asks it of me, it shall be so."

They left the carriage after much procrastinating. 

\---

The mansion now before them made all of Roswaal's previous manors seem like sets for forgettable made-for-TV movies or indie-budget fantasy film parodies. Stone and wood were packed together to make more rooms than he could envision. The mansion surely wasn't larger than the Lugnica castle he had visited, but these tall, black windows erected an edifice of impressive greed. Behind them was a large bubbling fountain and grass icons of former Mathers partriarchs. Faded flowerbeds hid under the dreary shadows cast by the obsequious, faceless imitations of former Roswaal hosts. A large stairwell rose up to the moon-shaped doors above.

Naturally, Roswaal was there to greet them. In the audience was also Frederica, Clind, Garfiel, and a dozen or more unrecognizable maidservants and butlers. Above them, a few soldiers stood guard and behind those guards, Subaru could see a few well-dressed shadows just hidden from view.

The clown came forward. Frederica and Garfiel respectedly followed suit, ambushing Rem and chatting her up immediately.

"Ros-chi. How are things?"

"Subaru-kun."

Roswaal looked ever the same. Subaru had half-expected him to call him Subaru-sama or something, so he was glad at least some things remained the same amidst the madness.

"You look well, if a little underdressed."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't expecting a party. Seriously, what are you up to now? Can't I just rest?"

"I'm aaaaaaaaaaaafraid not, Subaru-kun~" Roswaal stood on his toes, "Will a bird continue to fly if it rests its wings for too long?"

"I think I'm a lot more suited to walking, personally."

"Your cold, cold eyes do wooooooooooound me, Subaru-kun."

"Could we please come inside? I don't feel comfortable with all these people staring at me."

"I confess, I have always liked that about you, Subaru-kuuuuuuuuun. You have an appropriate sense of space. You know there is a time and a place. You did not need any significant coaching on etiquette. You embody the role of Noble Son quite well, in-fact." Roswaal, tipped his top hat, one hand sliding down his flank and smearing flush the jacket of his black tuxedo, "And you produce results, in time. You sure know how to instill confidence in your modest self."

"Yeah, well, it wasn't always like that."

"Mmm, how humble. And indeeeeed."

"...no really, what are you up to?"

They began to march toward the front door, making their ascent up the stairs, his desert attire ruffled in the breeze. Rem was quietly admiring Subaru's calm demeanor and handling of the difficult magister while Emilia was blown away by how easily forgotten she was in the crowd. She watched them carry on immediately without her, a stray breeze very nearly picking her up and sailing her away like a leaf.

Roswaal chittered (like a cockroach), "To what do you speak? I see Otto was the one to find you."

"Yeah. Did you really act so quickly off a simple thing?" Rolling his eyes, "It was sooo lucky Otto found us."

"Rem was important to you. I had reason to believe you would return soon enough. That's all. I promise~"

"Hmm. But a - gala? Just what kind of party is this? Don't tell me it's already legfest again."

Roswaal laughed, "I'm not sure to what you speak. But that was your intent, mmm?"

"Yeah, I know. I'm just reminiscing; there were days when I could just stare at 'kini clad pixels and roll the gacha."

"If you're craving attractions and games, I'm sure this party will satiiiisfy you, Subaru-kun."

Subaru huffed, "No way am I going to believe a word you're saying. You're a devil through and through. The only direction a party you could throw would go is south. Just be straight with me."

"Subaru-kun." He stopped, turning, and gestured down the great stairs to the expanse of grassy field and opulent decoration:

"The salvation of my Irlam benefactors. The salvation of Sanctuary. The destruction of the White Whale. The speculated demise of the Sizeable Hare. The death of Elsa Granhiert. The creation of an alliance between many throne-candidates. Your legendary speech at Pristella and the rousing Deilverance from Evil that insued. Your successful conquest of that enigmatic tower in the east Augria Sand Dunes. And now the resurrection of a Sleeping Beauty? Dare I even count the minor deeds or those to which cannot be spoken of so broadly?"

"..."

"I see you understand. Would I not be seen as peeeeeetty, inconsiderable or impertinent? How auuuuudacious a lord I would need to be, to not praise you publicly like this."

"Yeah. I get the 'reasoning', Ros-chi. That part is fine and was even already explained to me by Otto. But you never do anything without a secondary, or tertiary- hell, your reasons have reasons. S'why you're so ugly to be around."

"Myyyy, how rude."

"Emilia-tan knighted me last year, not that you'd remember that right now. So I guess I could forgive you forgetting that you already threw a damn party in my honor..." Subaru shook his head, doubting he needed two of those in his lifetime.

They stopped at the door. Clind was there to pry it open slowly by the falcon-shaped knocker. Subaru glanced at the ordinary-seeming guards dressed in completely nondescript platemail and jerkin, holding flimsy-looking halberds. He peered into the umbral, murky hall beyond, its scarlet and gold carpet expected. 

"If you won't give me an answer, you know I'll just figure it out eventually."

As they crossed the threshold, Roswaal put a firm, bony hand on his shoulder.

"While I am counting on that, I also ask you try to enjoy yourself. Mingle. Meet new faces? You know, my esteemed relatives are itching to get to know you~"

"That you called them 'relatives' instead of 'family', I don't know whether to be comforted or more disturbed..."

They stopped again just inside the mansion with Beatrice this whole time side-straddling his hip and held up by one arm secured around her waist. She wore the most uncharitable and dull expression, her butterfly-eyes siphoned of their previous delight.

"Did you seriously just ignore me like Betty wasn't even here, in-fact?"

"Don't worry about it Beako. You don't have to fight this kind of mob for me. I can handle him alone."

"I'm sorry, Beatrice-sama. Forgive my indolence."

"You are anything but indolent, I suppose. Betty prefers it this way actually. If you do not address her anymore, our relation might even improve. As Subaru's contracted spirit, my wretched business is thoroughly concluded with you. A simple nod of respectful acknowledgement is all I require from you, henceforth."

"Is that sooooo~?"

"Tch. Don't..."

"Yeeeesss?"

She sighed, "Our business is concluded and that is final. Betty will defer to Subaru on any further transactions, I suppose."

"Yeah. I have no idea what you're referring to, but anyway," Subaru waved the side-bar away, "We have more guests coming. Anastasia Camp, along with Ram, Meili, a new guest by the name of Shaula, and Patrasche."

"And what of the half-elf?"

Subaru picked out the way Roswaal somehow immediately knew Emilia's lineage like that, but didn't comment on it. A-

Wait.

"Emil- Emilia-tan!" he turned around suddenly, noting how far away she was, "Up here! Why are you so slow! And Rem! Get up here! We can mingle later!"

His precious two didn't dally much longer as Subaru cocked his hips and thrust out his chest.

"Emilia-tan ain't anyone new and she's with me!"

A gloating grin, Subaru laid it on thick, "You might want to have someone bring out a stretcher for you in advance, Ros-chi. Anastasia's bringing a guest with her that might just knock your socks off."

"Is Roswaal-sama even wearing socks?" Emilia looked down at his feet.

"I will keep that in mind... Mmmm, you may check if you wish to, Emilia-saaaaaaan."

"Oi! Don't invite Emilia-tan to do anything in relation to your body ever again."

Roswaal wagged a finger, "Enough chit-chaaat. We're expecting esteemed guests to start arriving within the hour. You are in no state to receive them. You and Emilia-san will need to be measured and dressed. Rem dear, please assist Frederica, I suppose we can talk about your station tomorrow." He leaned in to whisper, "And perhaps we will speak of your nameless elf."

Rem bowed with a grin, "At once, Roswaal-sama."

Subaru had mixed feelings about her rejoining the Mathers crew, but he couldn't deny Rem seemed happy to return to normalcy so easily. 

Beatrice hopped off Subaru's hip, "Subaru, I will familiarize myself with the surroundings. I have not been here since it was renovated."

"O-oh? Sure. That sounds useful."

Beatrice nodded, "Try not to die without me around to protect you."

Subaru laughed as he watched her scuttle off, "Yeah, sure, that...surely that won't happen. This is just going to be like a Beach Episode or something where nothing happens. They wouldn't put a huge plot development in a filler episode. There's no way this is even going to be canon."

Emilia giggled weakly at his side, "C'mon Subaru, let's just- for now? Let's just enjoy the elbowroom!"

He giggled back, "Elbowroom, really, Emilia-tan?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally made it in one piece. Nothing bad even happened! Yay!


	7. Prelude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has not been proofread and I may make a few alterations after I get some sleep, but I've already been holding onto this for too long XD  
> Next chapter will probably be similarly delayed.

He could smell the cotton and silk breathing in his nostrils, surrounded by a myriad of carefully pressed suits and dresses. He had never been lead back to a room exactly like this before, but he recognized it as similar to the closets used by the servants and guests of the previous mansions he had stayed in. All of the fluorescent clothes looked like they had been woven with glass; not a spec of dirt or faded color to be found among them.

Frederica and Subaru had entered the closet together. Holding a tape measure under her arm and a clipboard, she instructed him with calm clarity.

"Undress, Subaru-sama."

He didn't know at first how to respond, or to react, but his face must have given something away, even in the dimly lit alcove of white and mauve, Frederica started to say something - probably about being hasty considering guests might arrive at any moment. But he wouldn't have any of that. What was far more important was safeguarding everyone's future. He had to be sensitive of everyone's feelings. He couldn't survive always being his carefree, half-hearted self.

"What's wrong, Frederica-san?"

"Wrong? There's nothing wrong, I just asked you to please undress. I understand it was impolite, and I deeply apologize for that, I'm just-"

"You're never impolite, really. It's how I noticed something's wrong."

"..."

"Not that I need the formality. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

"No matter how true that might be at times, I cannot make an exception for you."

Subaru sighed, "Will you tell me what's bothering you at least?"

"Perhaps later, Subaru-sama. There's not enough time." 

She crafted a crowding of white, jagged blades.

"Not even a hint?"

"Subaru-sama..." she sighed.

He just stared at her flatly, "..."

"Undress, Subaru-sama."

It was a strange mixture of formality and intimacy. He looked at her skeptically.

"Do not give me such a look, Subaru-sama. Although you are handsome in some conventional ways, it would be improper of me to look upon you with anything other than polite professionalism."

He knew she was saying something so outrageous just to provoke him into behaving, but he couldn't help but react to such a flagrant thing! That was like declaring war! You didn't make such comments lightly! He was currently in a vortex of love problems right now!

It was bad enough Emilia thought his face "wasn't that weird" was some sort of praise. Back home in Japan, you wouldn't even politely say something like that about your neighbor's new dog!

"You know, I have no idea how to even parse that?! Are you saying I'm ugly, Frederica-san?!"

There was no anger in his stretched-thin voice. He had always been self-conscious of his face, thinking it wasn't quite arranged right, his eyes not-even-withstanding. He was so self-conscious that he had spent a lot of time working out (and working on expressions in the mirror). Mutilating your internals over and over to achieve his current physique: it was what they called "working out" back home. It gave him enough confidence to usually overlook any doubt over his visage. It was difficult to maintain the same muscles in Lugnica, but they did have their own methods of resistance training here. For the last year after Sanctuary was freed, there had been a lot of protein-rich meals, too (the villagers were far too generous to him). 

Yes, he really still was so vain as to believe "check out my muscles" could override some of his other deficiencies as a man. Though, to think Frederica was threatening to shatter that precarious illusion of male pride! After he had practically just glued it back together again...

Frederica chuckled, "No, not at all, Subaru-sama. I wasn't saying that."

"If you deny it while laughing, it really doesn't correct my interpretation. If you'd grown up in my hometown, you'd probably be the sort of girl to backhandedly complement me on the species of body-spray I use."

Frederica looked very lost, "Subaru-sama, you're speaking in riddles again."

"I'm saying I'm sensitive about my looks! Getting Emilia to like me is already like chasing clouds!"

Frederica couldn't help but continue to chuckle at Subaru's self-depreciating tone. He was simultaneously beaming and belittling himself. Such a disgusting sort of sadomasochistic man he'd become.

"Fret not for you have...an Interesting face, Subaru-sama."

"How is that an improvement over what you just said, Frederica-san!"

She giggled, but shyly hid her smile before it could become oblong, "I can't properly assess someone like you, Subaru-sama. Please understand."

"You hurt my vanity before without meaning to, I get it, but now your insistence is actually making me want to know... am I really that bad? Or do you just not want to say what's right?"

He cringed at his own volume. But he wasn't prepared to back down just yet.

"S-Subaru-sama, p-please understand, desuja!"

"No, I don't quite get it! Whenever we have a conversation, it always gets back to some heavy-handed lecture about war or family, like you want to even avoid just talking about the weather! Let me set the record straight: You know I don't mind demi-humans? So you can cut out the anxiety, I won't judge you, or call you some nasty thing; even in private, even to myself, I just don't think that way."

"Subaru-sama, it isn't like that."

"To me, your blood type isn't a part of the equation. Liking someone has nothing to do with that. Though if you believe some of the superstitions, I'm not going to be extremely compatible with an AB-type-- But I mean, if you're willing to consider the two of us hypothetically, in some far-flung world without Emilia-tan and Rem-- however a hollow a world that would be-- coming out and saying it wouldn't be improper, no matter the tepid words you use, if you're just honestly able to evaluate me, I think it probably flattering coming from you Frederica-san, so-"

Hiding her face behind a rack of coats, "S-Subaru-sama, please, that's enough, that isn't what I was referring to at all. A-and, you're really not making any sense!"

Subaru was just saying things now. She couldn't endure this level of outrageous speech. But even in anger, Frederica cast an understanding smile.

"Firstly, I am Roswaal-sama's servant. This is simply a necessary task and nothing more, please Subaru-sama, we mustn't delay with chatter." Frederica shook her head, "Secondly, while I cannot explicitly approve of it given the difference in standing, I am taking Rem's side and not my own, even if you should ask so brazenly." She huffed, "Finally, ignoring all other factors, attraction of that sort doesn't even factor. Subaru-sama, when you undergo tasks for Roswaal-sama, you already worry me greatly. As if I could contemplate being closer than that..." she blushed, "I do not have the time for such dalliances, desuja."

Subaru muttered 'desuja' under his breath in confusion, causing Frederica to blush more fiercely and look away, murmuring back an apology. The blonde seemed to be wrestling with herself, righting her posture and regaling her tongue.

Frederica's words had the intended effect. Subaru calmed down. He realized he was being very ridiculous on account of things still remaining unresolved with Emilia, Rem, Julius, and now this party. And now he was making the placid Frederica upset.

Subaru rubbed his neck and laughed, "I'm sorry to make you say something like that Frederica-san, I didn't mean to. I was just trying to make light of you callin' me ugly and got carried away." He tried using a weak excuse like that, "Of course I love Rem and Emilia-tan, so maybe I do too much of that. But it wouldn't hurt for you to look, too Frederica-san. N-Not at me, I mean! While it won't be me that makes you happy-- what I'm saying is you shouldn't let your duty to Ros-chi get in the way of finding something for yourself."

Subaru's words did not have the intended effect. Frederica was too serious to consider being so frivolous and casual. Frederica tip-toed around the rack and bullied Subaru into finally removing his clothes, pushing and still pushing with her beastly strength. Since he didn't seem capable of following instructions, at least according to her, she growled in his ear.

"Let's not talk about such a thing, going forward."

Subaru felt a little bad for turning her good nature into a spar. He was not exercising enough self-control. Even still, he was amped up on a strange, brewing anxiety. He had been able to relax in the carriage with Emilia and Rem (to a certain extent, anyway, if you could call such a scene 'relaxing'), and he was happy to see her so soon, but he had a bad feeling about all this. This mansion of Roswaal's was especially arcane-seeming to him. He expected one of the paintings to come to life and talk to him, or a pair of eyes to silently track him from behind...

Part of him did want to press the issue - navigating numerous loops had made him comfortable with settings flags like this. He believed Frederica deserved happiness. It wasn't his job to save everyone or be tasked with helping everyone, but his greed did extend as far as someone like her.

"Mm? If you insist." He sighed, "Ros-chi is a master at finding selfless servants. It's just too cruel." He tried to temper his negative remarks about Roswaal-- seeing as they were still 'allies', "And I'm just nervous to be hosting a party you know, back home...those never went well for me."

"Please don't disparage Roswaal-sama," she blurted, "And I'm not sure from whence you originate, Subaru-sama, but I can only believe it was a very kind place. That you can wish better for me, I am humbled by it. I hope you can rule with that same mindset." She smiled kindly, "That you were not able to host a good party before, I blame your family's servants. You are well suited to entertain others, as you always do without seeming to even try."

He held himself back from correcting her, just blushing ever so slightly.

Subaru was unwrapped in saintly care, revealing the plates of muscle under his breast, the worn sinew of his arms (one of them scorched black from Capella's taint), and down to his underwear. His earlier words still too fresh to bare, Frederica sketched out measurements and then darted out of the room with pants and a jacket. When she hurried out of the closet she handed them to someone, barking instructions. She did not return immediately. He could hear her heels clicking across the tile just outside and then around the corner, leaving him alone and nearly naked.

Subaru stared at himself in the mirror, rubbing the black, turgid scab that encased part of his arm.

"Pay that no mind Subaru. Rem will not find such an affliction offensive."

He must have been doing that for so long, because Frederica was already back. He hadn't even heard her.

"Huh? Oh, I wasn't...no, this doesn't really bother me anymore."

"If that doesn't preoccupy you, then neither should your face."

She raised up her arms.

"Yeah, I guess."

She had him try on a jacket. Again leaving him to reflect on her words, Frederica slipped away again.

\--- 

In another closet, Rem's knitted fingers de-laced Emilia, undressing her with graceful ease. A lean shadow purled down and sloped through the hewn vanilla marble of those falling opals. The half-elf looked down at her feet, making believe she was invisible. Again, Emilia found herself 

"Emilia-san. For some reason, we have nothing in your explicit size."

"I'm not too surprised, I never visited the main mansion before."

Rem nodded.

Emilia refrained from saying, 'Though, it is strange.' She did not want to talk about the obvious. How everyone else had lost their names but only she was affected in this monumental fashion: as though she had merely been a moon's pale yellow shadow upon the water. 

Touching Emilia as if afraid to hurt her insect-like sensibilities, Rem's featherlight touch traced along each of her arms at once, "I will easily find something beautiful for you."

"Thank you, Rem."

How much of everything was pure? The universe was a smattering of many things. Arranged, was it beautiful? And unarranged, was it a miracle? Rem didn't know the answer to that. She didn't normally mind herself to be so concerned with why or how, only that she was here again; but here was beautiful and miraculous in this moment of work. 

It had still just been a blink to her, she still felt a deeper love for life, now knowing how easily lost it was. Being able to work again, just so easily being let back into Roswaal's service: it was a relief. She now understood that hard look in Emilia's eyes. The girl didn't know where she stood; she was rudderless. Rem knew she needed to keep her grounded.

Rem found something beautiful for Subaru's silver maiden to wear: A silver dress. Although it was not her size, all it needed was a tight enough sash or belt. Rem cut blue and white ribbon and spun it around Emilia's middle, tapering the dress to her explicit narrowing. It bowed out slightly at the hips, not quite becoming bell-like, but still broadening the shape of her hips enough to float across the floor.

Emilia had always left fashion to Puck. During his absence, she sometimes sought out Frederica and Subaru's opinions on clothing (as Ram would generally just say everything she wore was equally beautiful). This was the first time she could remember Rem dressing her in over a year, so it evoked a strange nostalgia of 「the times before Subaru」. She became lost in thought, as she realized she could cleanly delineate 「life before Subaru」 and 「life after Subaru」. Not even all of it was him, but just the sudden and frantic change in goings-on came about with his arrival.

Sinking deeper. Still sinking deeper. Cloudy white snow.

"Do you like it?"

"Huh?"

"The dress, Emilia-san."

"Oh. Uhm..."

"..."

"..."

"It's not a question of whether I like it or not... I still don't reeeeally understand fashion, but it looks nice, thank you," Emilia explained, "As long as everyone else likes it on me, then I'm glad. I'm sorry to trouble you with it."

Rem's fingers pulled Emilia's silver bangs away from her eyes, posing with her in the mirror. She was suddenly severe.

"Subaru-sama would enjoy anything I wear, but I think he would want me to wear something that I myself like wearing. That says something that I think, you know? I think you should consider that from now on, Emilia-san."

"..." she swallowed, "Thank you, Rem."

"Rem is pleased to have your thanks, but you don't look entirely sure."

She sighed, "Clothes are just clothes. I don't know."

"Perhaps," Rem seemed conflicted at first, "-it is not proper, but what if Rem showed you? I will put on something too. Roswaal-sama might not approve, but he might make an exception for me in this case, if I ask for his forgiveness." 

"You don't have to, but I am a little curious. If you show me what?"

Rem beamed, "Rem will show you something that I know Subaru-sama will really like! Of course, you cannot copy me exactly, but in the future, it will give you an idea of how I think!"

"I don't promise I'll understand, but I'm okay with hearing you out?"

"Great!" 

She dragged Emilia away from the mirror, pulling her through the racks of clothes. Rem had on quite the smile, somewhere between wistful and playful.

"What do you know about beauty, Emilia-san?"

Emilia felt like she knew it when she saw it, but couldn't say such a childish thing with a straight face.

"I know trees are beautiful when they're tall and healthy and wreathed in blooms or needles. Buildings are beautiful when they're tall and arched and polished and painted. People are beautiful when they're," she could not apply such simple logic to 'people', "-honest. They keep their promises. And they smile." She giggled, "No, that's a childish answer still, isn't it? I know there should be more to it, but I haven't been able to give it much thought."

Rem would not have been blown away by her answer if she hadn't forgotten her. Rem knew she had to start from the beginning. Emilia was that sort of hopeless. She could see how Subaru would be drawn to her, Emilia was bright, but clearly someone in dire need of friends.

"It's... there's inner beauty and outer beauty," Rem recited, "Both are hard to cultivate. Some people favor one or another, but I don't think you should choose and they both compliment each other. But, depending on what you value, you should choose to enhance what parts of you are most beautiful in the moment, Emilia-san; like how flowers bloom or windows are crystal clear; but how a square shape isn't suited for a flower, or how a crystalline flower would be too heavy to bend in the breeze."

Rem showed Emilia a number of dresses very quickly, summarizing each with two or three words. Rem explained why she would not choose to wear them in the moment. After blazing through ten veils of black, peach, white, and red, Rem showed her a dandelion-soft qipao.

"This is a dress from Karargi. I think it's called a cheongsam? It has a few names, depending on whom you ask." 

It was as blue as a clear sky and relatively simple, without decoration. Of all the dresses Emilia had seen, it was the most plain. 

When Rem peeled up her black skirt and white accoutrements, shimmying her wide hips into the narrow blue sheathe, its flanks slicing up her thighs, Emilia looked uncertain: something about it didn't sit right with her. Rem was beautiful, but the dress she chose...

"What do you think?"

"I think it's..."

"..."

"The word you're refraining from saying is 'plain', isn't it, Emilia-san?"

"Yes. It's reeeally simple. Are you sure Subaru would like something like this?"

It was all one color, without highlight to break up Rem's shapes, to give form to her breasts, volume to her ass; although it reveled in her strong legs, it also covered them adequately enough as to only stoke the eye just barely at the knee. Rem did not want to color Emilia's perspective by giving her advice about explicit shapes to focus on, instead maintaining that small coil of her lips; she just wanted to seed her heart.

"I want to hold myself back. When I'm standing next to you, I want his eyes to be drawn onto you first, Emilia-san. That's why I've chosen this."

"E-eh?! B-But. Why?! Back in the carriage...we... I..."

"I can tell you're still not sure of yourself yet. I want to give you that chance, to find the answers you're looking for, Emilia-san."

"But that makes no sense! Subaru loves you! I'll just get in the way, right?"

Emilia's entire white face was a crumpled white tissue; a cracked eggshell; a trampled lily. 

"I did not understand where we stood, but now that I know what kind of person Emilia-san is, I know I can't put my all into winning Subaru until I've at least given you the chance to realize if he's what you really want or not."

"..."

"There's a lot I still don't understand."

Emilia closed her eyes. In that flash she remembered - meeting him in the loot house, seeing him unannounced at the ceremony, and spraying his words of support and condemnation in the tomb. She was useless. She was a pain. Rain persisting, rain turning into hail, hail coalescing into endless flurries: Subaru's love was the kind of storm that seemed to endure these extraordinary hardships.

She took Rem's hand.

"But...I promise I'll give you an answer. Soon. In a few days, at least." She blanched, "I think."

Emilia was screwed up inside and out; but in this moment of reprieve, she dabbled with the idea of making up her mind.

Rem nodded.

"I'll help you find that answer, if I can. I noticed - ever since we left the dragon carriage together...you seemed to be in some distress. Do you want to share? Was it something I said?"

"E-Eh? You? No!" Emilia fidgeted, "Wait. D-d-- Y-you mean? No, we're alreaady running late with all this, right? We can't."

"You can be truthful with me, Emilia-san. I promise I won't tell Subaru anything."

"I," Emilia hesitated, "-I'm just... Wh-when we..."

She made a brave face, finally finding the resolve. Conspiratorially, she pressed Rem into the shadowy wall and whispered into her blue maid's ear. The color drained from Rem's face, then rapidly colored bright crimson. When Emilia pulled away, Rem's pooling eyes were suddenly beyond pale.

"Th...that's a normal reaction, Emilia-san, though your surprise does concern me a little. I think we need to find time tonight to talk at length about," then she trailed off.

Emilia nodded, recognizing that face in Rem, "I've actually had a talk with Ram before about these things? She didn't really make it clear, sooo I'm not sure whom to ask instead."

"Rem will make sure you are correctly informed this time, Emilia-san."

\---

\---

In the mirror's reflection there was a sea of black and white tiles zig-zagging. In that midst was reflected the dapper image of Natsuki Subaru, Royal Election Candidate. According to some, he was destined for Kingship. He found that hard to believe - aside from a delusion his younger-self might concoct, who else would believe in such nonsense? Apparently, a lot of people; and to be fair, he had read many light novels where the protagonist would go on to do such things, so he could at least understand how the fantasy might have entered so many heads.

"It still doesn't make sense," Subaru searched himself.

He found the white and blue, falcon-emblazoned tuxedo a little much, but it did perfectly mirror Emilia's own white and blue raiment, so he was left mollified. It was also a better pick than a black tuxedo because it would have made him subconsciously slide back into being a butler.

"Why would Emilia losing her name trigger such an enormous change?"

Was the world so out of whack with her gone it had to invent such facetious tales of destiny just to make up for it? He didn't understand magic, especially not after whatever the hell that was that transpired in the tower, or inside the realm known as Od Laguna. Perhaps from his unique position as an isekai'er he could suspend logic and reason enough to believe fate could spin up such a far-out tale, but he would be a fool to let himself be blinded by this sudden stroke of good fortune.

"Nothing good happens to Natsuki Subaru without Newton's third law from taking effect straight away and heaping lots of misery right back on."

Frederica, who was shyly posing "off-camera", looked on with concern.

"Subaru-sama, are you truly happy with what I've had prepared for you? You're saying some very strange things to yourself and so I'm suddenly concerned I've offended you again."

"--hhhhk!"

Subaru choked down such a cringeworthy feeling in his chest. Could he really retreat so deeply inside himself as to forget others were in the room with him? His mind was that rough around the edges, becoming so mad. 

The closet had been the right sort of "Japanese-sized" room, but this spacious chamber (just outside) was virtually empty and useless, just hanging a huge ass mirror from wall to wall. Why did Roswaal need a room just for a mirror, a portrait and a fountain? You could have fed a village for months with this level of opulence.

Frederica was so graceful, her voice so warm, her voice softer than a gentle ray of sunshine sliding through the cracks of his bedroom window that when she neared him her voice sounded no louder and no closer to him than before. 

"Frederica-s-"

That when she looped his arms around his waist, pressing herself into his back, he was surprised. He hadn't realized how close they had gotten. It was also unlike her! Very unlike her! All of a sudden - but the hug was quick and shy, over as quick as it had begun. Frederica hovered behind him, concern etched in her bushy brow.

"You did a wonderful thing, so please stop making that face." 

"Ah, Frederica-san, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you by saying something careless about myself."

"It isn't that, silly boy. It's your face."

"Again?" 

She chuckled, "No, I mean - you are wearing a hard expression that anyone will notice." She sighed, "You will be seeing guests any minute now. Do you not get it? What do you think they will see?"

In the mirror, the razor-fanged maid radiated, presenting those numerous teeth with her chin almost resting on his shoulder. He realized he had misread her - her embrace's warmth already fleeting. She smiled, wiping a lone streak from her cheek. A meteoric tearstreak that had left him speechless.

"That hard look is what's ugly about your face. I leave you alone for only a moment and it's merely worsened."

Another sigh.

"If I must be rude, I will be: focus on the now! You have done so much, Subaru-sama. Thank you for returning Rem. She was precious to me. She was precious to Ram. And to others, too, whether she knew it or not." She blushed, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done or said all that, I just- seeing you with that look on your face- it made me realize you never seem to stop and rest, Subaru-sama." She held herself, "Roswaal-sama might have ulterior motives with this, but you must still consider this a party for you. A celebration for you. Please: relax."

Subaru was exhausted. There was too much of this. As the designated cry-baby character, only he needed to cry. Having others cry was definitely too much. Having others recognize his fatigue, that was even more gratuitous. It only made him want to cringe - in this moment, Frederica echoed words that he had since suppressed: Minerva's and Sekhmet's criticisms running interference on just the edge of his hearing.

He turned and faced her, snatching her in an embrace. He was glad she had tried to reach out to him. In the past, he might have let that slide, but losing Rem had taught him not to take these things for granted. He didn't want to be alone. Clearly surprised, Frederica did not protest, but she did look distinctly uncomfortable with this.

"I appreciate your kindness, Frederica-san, but what you were reading on my face was all imagined."

He winked, confusing her.

"Yes, I suppose so," she withdrew from his boisterous hug, "If you insist, perhaps."

"I am beside myself to have her back and I haven't even properly spent a day with her in solitude yet. So of course I'm going to be acting like this." He nodded, "Obviously, I want to talk to her at length, in private, as soon as possible even, but my life doesn't work that way. I set it up that way, admittedly, giving away my time like it's worthless and infinite. I promise I'll make time for her tonight and then I won't have any excuse for giving you the idea that I'm bothered by anything."

"..."

"Please work on your act, Subaru-sama."

His forced smile deflated.

"But you make a good point, Rem is someone you should have a proper moment with. I can stall for time. Would you like a moment alone with Rem? The guests can wait. I believe she is done attending to Emilia-san."

Subaru hesitated, "We've already spoken a little, it's not like I've been avoiding her. Nothing's been resolved yet, but we - I can tell she'll be patient. We have a lot to talk about, but I kind of want to save it for when there's a good time. Now's a little too hectic."

"Subaru-sama, I would normally not insist, but your needs are my priority."

"I get that. I can't thank you enough for that. I'll find time for her. I'll admit I'm a little worried about all this, okay? Just keep it from Rem, please? Of course I'm glad she's back and of course I know she can help me with my worries, but she's already been through a lot. So whatever issues I'm going through are small potatoes in comparison and can wait."

"Potatoes, Subaru-sama?" she blinked.

"Nevermind. Actually," Subaru shifted his weight, putting a hand on her shoulder, "There is something you can help me with. Rem, Emilia, Petra, you, Otto-- even that damn Roswaal-- everyone here is important. I don't want to lose anyone. If I'm troubled, you can always assume it's something to do with that."

"That wasn't my doubt."

"Great. Well, it's not like I'll let Rem fall victim to something like that again," Subaru muttered, "But if I'm going to keep her safe...I know I can count on you to help me with stuff like that, right? Keep an eye out for anything suspicious? You can do that without getting into trouble yourself, right?"

Frederica nodded, "Yes. I may serve Roswaal-sama, but I wholly support you, Subaru-sama."

"Great. That makes things easy," he addressed her with utmost concern, "Just what is Ros-chi, up to?"

The gentle maid maintained precise cadence and enunciation, unflinchingly standing up to the implied accusation, "Roswaal-sama does not confide his unstated intentions in me. Perhaps Ram would know, but seeing as she has yet to arrive, I doubt that as well." She bowed, "I'm sorry I cannot be of more use to you, Subaru-sama, but I know no more than you and cannot even begin to speculate what you should concern yourself with."

"It's fine Frederica-san, I don't want to burden you like that anyway." He chuckled, "I was just making a point to - if you notice anything suspicious, please, come find me immediately. Go straight to me. It could be as small as a handkerchief gone missing. I really don't mind." His eyes were swallowed up again, "Keeping everyone safe will mean being that paranoid, at least for now."

"I will let you know if I come across anything suspicious, Subaru-sama, but I would prefer if you could just relax for a few days at least."

"That's appreciated, but I also don't want to put undue stress between you and your employer. I'll handle everything problematic like that, it's not your concern. I promise I'll try not to worry more than necessary?"

She nodded reluctantly but insisted, "Roswaal-sama does not mind. I'm sure he would allow me to know things he wishes you to discover. If there is truly something he wants hidden, I doubt I will discover it. But if there is anything I can do to help, do not hesitate to use me either. The times Garf, Petra and I have shared with you...I would selfishly like to see them continue. And so, again..." she sighed.

She gave Subaru such a forlorn, sunken smile.

"Tch, you know, I think I've been neglecting you a bit much. I promise that after I can sort this mess out, I'll make up for the shitty way you and all the other servants are treated around here."

She shook her head languidly, "Subaru-sama, Roswaal-sama is a fine lord. Perhaps your standards are higher from where you come from," she trailed off curiously, as if hoping he might fill her in.

But he did not.

"...but even Crusch-sama and Priscilla-sama are quite demanding of their servants. Those of noble birth are entitled to treat us of common birth in any manner they deem fit. Such is the way of the world, I assure you it has nothing to do with anything else."

Subaru vaguely recalled his own world and the inequalities there; without pausing to think it through, Subaru began gyrating his hips and thrusting out his thumbs. 

"Have a little hope, Frederica-san~! Natsuki Subaru will surely make the world a better place! Your lot in life will definitely improve, dattebayo!"

...

Wait.

Subaru shivered.

"For just a moment, I think I maybe relaxed too much a-and-- I tried a little too hard to sound cool and assure you- and it really backfired." He bowed, "Please forgive me, Frederica-san."

Frederica's silence lasted only just long enough for her body to be completely overcome in tremors. She was giggling, that white clamshell around her breasts wobbling up and down in delight.

"Subaru-sama, you are truly a gift."

"Yeah, yeah. I think next time I will take my mother's advice and keep the coolness at fifty percent."

She smirked, "Your mother sounds like a wise woman."

"Yeah," wistfully, he spoke, "She is." 

They finally started to depart for the grand antechamber, passing by great roaring foyers. Labyrinthine halls wrapped around in circles. Subaru tried counting the servants that flew past, carrying silver platters and towers of porcelain. Frederica kept him company as they walked. Subaru saw Rem and Emilia in the distance across the stairs, keeping pace. He trained his eyes on Frederica's, mentally preparing himself for what he had just glimpsed ahead. Awaiting him.

"Perhaps you could divulge some of your lineage, Subaru-sama? Everyone is awfully curious about it. But if you truly can't speak of it..." she smiled, "Do you have any siblings? Is 'dattebayo' part of your dialect?"

"I can talk about it, though it won't really mean a thing to you, Frederica-san. And please, I must insist, forget that I ever said word. I went t-too far."

She chuckled.

Subaru briefly contemplated explaining he was from beyond the waterfall. However, he had two loops where he had tried that. The results had been very mixed. Part of the issue was timing: he'd had a head injury previous to telling them, plus he could not even corroborate it with his own memories of Lugnica. Even so, he did not believe telling anyone that particular detail was useful. It would be hard to explain and not be satisfying to her. So, he went on ahead.

"But right now isn't a great time, it would take far too long."

"Perhaps another time." They neared closer and closer Rem and Emilia. Frederica whispered to him, "You do look very handsome, Subaru-sama. Please be careful with the ladies tonight. The actual gala is not for tomorrow, so you'll want to maintain your energy."

"Sure. Thanks for the tip." He couldn't help but blush ... the way Frederica was looking at him ... it was very much a smile of 'knowing'.

"I am being serious, Subaru-sama. You will have countless suitors. Please keep your guard up."

He murmured back, "Sure, but there's..." he sighed, "If Emilia-tan hadn't gotten erased from your mind, you would have had no cause to say such a ridiculous thing."

Frederica shook her head, "This is where we must part, Subaru-sama. I will come collect you tonight and show you your room. Please stay on your feet until then."

"Yeah, sure."

He stopped. She left. Rem and Emilia came down the stairs, meeting him on top of a white landing, a dovetail of stairs pointing further down to a welcoming wine red floor overflowing with food and servants.

Emilia was enshrined in a silver dream, her eyes trained on the steps, watching to make sure those tall pumps did not send her flying. When she lifted her gaze, his heart became glaciated. He was immediately sick. So sick as to forget guilt and fear. 

Slush like his heart leading through little paths and puddles, like flowers all over the sidewalks, his shoes decaying, sweat soaking into his eyeballs and the streets becoming clogged with bodies yet somehow hers illuminated and preciously unoccupied. He had been hurrying through life to get to this moment, or maybe he had simply hurriedly squandered every moment he could have had with her instead.

"-baru?"

"Subaru?"

"Huh?"

"Subaru, are you okay?"

"Y...yeah."

Emilia looked too frightened for words. That starry blush was replaced with the glare of chandelier above. She was creased and matted, her beautiful worry chewing away at his gluttonous chest cavity. Teeth sinking into his heart, piling on, he realized he could vomit the lust out of him if he stopped breathing. He realized he could make this moment carry on if he just forgot to speak. 

"I'm sorry," he said, "I wasn't expecting this."

Rem spoke up, her voice an instructor's, "Emilia-san, offer Subaru-sama your hand. Subaru-sama, I would advise you to compliment Emilia-san on her appearance, before the moment is lost."

"This moment won't ever be lost," he held out his hand, "Like this could ever be taken away from me. Like anyone could ever forget you and how perfect you look right now, Emilia-tan."

Subaru wasn't sure how she would react to that kind of public heaping, but he could not control his mouth. In the past, he might have psyched himself up and acted ridiculous; but this was no act. Emilia's worried smile did not ridicule her zephyr-- The clouds get too much attention as it is. Emilia's beauty is not something which "simply passes by" and disperses.

In the ensuing awkward pause, Emilia held her own gracefully! She was built for taking this kind of compliment and deflecting it stunningly! Of course it seemed to hit her all the same, but it was both so novel and yet so like Subaru she maintained an innocence many would have lacked.

"I like how you look too, Subaru. It's cute."

"...cute's not exactly the right word for how a man should look, but I'll still blush and ask for a doggy bag, Emilia-tan!"

He gave her a thumb and a smile.

"A what?"

Rem stepped in, laying her hand atop Emilia's and his own. Hands cupped, Rem's precious fingers touching them both, she gave him a one-eyed smile.

"Emilia-san wanted to badly impress you, Subaru-sama."

"Rem."

He squeezed Emilia's hand, his other suddenly atop Rem's, creating an angelic sandwich. He wanted to move his fingers and touch the back of her hand like this, but didn't trust himself with even such a small thing.

"I'm the most disgusting and deplorable man right now."

He hadn't complimented her on her dress, or even bothered to scrape his eyes across her. Even his own greed did not extend that far just yet.

"But I am also the happiest I've ever been."

"E-Eh?" Emilia squeaked.

"I don't want either of you forget that. Or forgive me. I'm incredibly selfish. And I was behaving stupidly up until now. You didn't have to do this-"

"It's okay for you to be a little selfish, Subaru."

"If a party is going on, why wouldn't we get dressed for the occasion?"

"I..."

"Rem thinks Subaru is very selfish. But not in the way you expect. Stop saying 'I' so much. When someone returns your feelings, don't look away from them."

That Rem could say such a thing so straightly, in a space like this - Subaru knew it wasn't in her nature to be this bold, but to help him, she of course would go this far.

Just where was this going?

"Myyyyyyyyy, myyyyyy~ what a splendid scene? I do wish I had my portrait butler here tonight. Such a linking of hands would make a jubilant icon in a grand hall such as this, don't you think, Suuuuubaru-sama?"

Of course Roswaal would interrupt such a moment, though Subaru did not mind. He had already become drunk on feeling. He couldn't feel his feet. In-fact, so much as he was concerned, he was standing on a block of solid ice completely barefooted.

The trio turned to Roswaal. Rem pulled her hand away, but Emilia persisted in holding onto Subaru for just long enough that he met her eyes. She gave him something so fierce he never felt so powerful in all his short and meager life. He could neither call it a smile nor a smirk, but something childishly and chastizingly in-between.

Rem took the lead, "Roswaal-sama, I-"

"Hm? Yeeeees, you do look lovely tonight, Rem, though I would have liked to hear Subaru-sama's apt words on that as well~ Alas, our first visitor is here. And so, I juuuuust had to interrupt, you see?"

"Tch."

Emilia patted his arm, "It's okay Subaru."

"Emilia-tan, if you touch me that gently I think I might actually faint."

She giggled, "Stop being silly. That's hardly king-like."

"Of all the people buying into the myth, the last one I want to hear that from is you, Emilia-tan!"

"Of course I'll play along, until..." she trailed off, "We're talking about it tonight, so put it out of your mind until then. We can have fun in this little dream, right?"

Subaru swallowed, he hadn't been expecting Emilia to be his succubus, though she fit the job description. In hindsight, he should have armed himself for this.

He regarded Rem, "You look sublime, Rem. If there was more time-"

"Just tell me later," she said, "It can wait. This is important to Roswaal-sama."

"Yeeees, now, I believe you are on good terms with House Karsten's faction? This should be good practice for the other guests."

"C-Crusch-san is here?! Seriously? What the hell!" 

The last he saw her, she could hardly move. Her body had been covered in the curse of Capella's tainted blood.

\---

Rem walked ahead, flanking Roswaal down the stairs. Subaru held Emilia's hand, noting she was a little unsure of her step. He was glad she had an excuse to hold his hand like this and if he was honest, he wished there were more stairs to go down. The journey with her was short and ended too soon.

"I'm sorry I'm being a pain again," she laughed as she let go.

As she retracted, Subaru almost took her hand but knew he couldn't. 

"My feelings haven't changed since that time. No matter how useful or useless you..." 

For some reason he couldn't quite form the words. Emilia shook her head, blushing.

"Let's not right now."

"Yeah."

He watched servants set up tables and chairs, placing plates, napkins and utensils. He had to guess they were planning for two hundred or more guests.

Roswaal took them to the threshold, ornate harp-like -- no, they were butterfly wings -- doors of white folding open. All this splendor surrounding him made him uncomfortable; previously he'd just been a nobody. He could distinctly remember meeting each of the candidates after making a mockery of himself. It felt like he was wearing an expensive and hypocritical mask, now acting like he was their peer and rival.

Crusch and her retinue were waiting for him just inside the wooden room. There were no windows to the outside world, but magical braziers created a romantic aesthetic of crimson and azure.

Crusch was in a wheelchair, or at least an anachronistic approximation of one. He couldn't recall if this invention was partly his doing or not, but he could recall describing something like this to Ferris at some point. 

Crusch looked terrible, her face splattered in black stains. However, she had made small gains. Fighting down Capella's curse, he could detect trace amounts of that sick ichor missing since he had last seen her. Some of the mushrooming veins in her face had been swollen a toxic purple, but the swelling and coloration had subsided. Crusch, without her memories, was still a fighter. Her dark green hair was pulled off her face, those amber eyes holding a timeless strength. She was adorned in all white, making her figure seem more effeminate; long white gloves and stockings completely covered the cursed flesh underneath.

Of course, Ferris was poised to her left. Wilhelm to the right. Wilhelm matched Roswaal's level of dress, the pair of them conserving their presence behind black and white tuxedos, blending in to let others stand out (though of course Roswaal had to do something eccentric, his war paint exemplifying a butterfly motif). Ferris elected to wear something knightly, but Subaru had a feeling Ferris would have preferred to dress up for a party with Crusch. He was obviously worn down and frayed, the bows in his ears even mismatched.

The door shut.

"Subaru-sama."

Wilhelm was the first to bow his head. Subaru almost felt bad about it, seeing as Wilhelm was Crusch's knight. Such reverence should be reserved for her; but his history with Wilhelm was extensive and he could not help but choke down a little hardness in his voice. Back in Pristella things had gotten dicey.

Ferris and Crusch began their greeting. Emilia introduced herself briefly, but before she could launch into who exactly she was, she was interrupted.

Rem slid out from behind Roswaal's shadow, taking Subaru's side once again.

"So it's true."

Ferris lost all decorum, approaching Rem like she were a ghost.

"I couldn't believe it. I still ky-an't."

Rem barely breathed.

"Rem-san. My-ay I?"

The oni nodded. Ferris took her hand, holding it. He then felt her forehead.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, Subaru-sama."

Ferris held back the emotion in his voice, but it was clear he was struggling.

"I just. I'm in awe, is all." He turned to him, "How did you do it?"

"-hk."

Subaru winced. He maybe should have had a strategic meeting before agreeing to this. He wasn't sure how to answer at first, then sought Roswaal or Rem to bail him out, but they both had expecting looks for him. Even Rem wondered what he would say.

"A miracle is how I did it," Subaru raised his voice slowly.

"Well, that's how most would describe it. So far, no one has successfully cured the syndrome known as sleeping princess sickness. It's an affliction that transcends body and even soul."

"Subaru-sama," Crusch interrupted, "I'm sorry to start off this way, it's incredibly disrespectful."

Ferris immediately started to object and Subaru could sense where this would go. He didn't want any fighting.

"What the Archbishops of Gluttony did to everyone was terrible, so of course I sought out the Sage in order to find answers," Subaru knew he was a terrible liar, so he skirted the truth, "Can you fault me for keeping a few hard-won secrets from risking my neck like that?" 

Ferris looked like he would snarl, but Wilhelm already intercepted him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I can't tell you how I healed Rem anymore than I can tell you how a heart beats or why flowers bloom. They just do, really. It's not like there's no explanation, I just don't know the answer." He raised a hand at the despair and fury, "But Crusch-san's memories - giving her back what was lost - I can..." 

"...I can definitely do that."

Rem and Emilia: "Subaru?"

"Ah, I mean, obviously, healing Rem was a miracle, but she was a special case. Crusch-san's condition is far better, so it shouldn't be as taxing on me."

"If there's a price to pay, I will gladly pay it!"

"Like I was trying to say, Ferris, I don't know how, but I'm fairly sure only I can do it. The price is on me. You don't have to worry about it anyway, Crusch already-"

Rem stepped out and took his hand, "Subaru-sama."

Emilia fidgeted too, wringing her hands.

"What?"

"It was more than a little scary for everyone, seeing you like that. Would you have a little more consideration for yourself?"

"What are you saying? It's not like I can't not help Crusch-san."

"Even if you overlook how politically disadvantageous it is, that it could backfire and hurt you is possible."

Subaru quietly agreed, "There is always a risk with anything. But what are you proposing instead?"

"You're already waiting to heal Emilia-san. Shouldn't Crusch-sama come second to that?"

"Eh?" Emilia raised her voice, "I respect your concern, Rem! But I should go last. Helping others is more important than helping yourself."

"As far as Subaru-sama is concerned, you're somebody else."

"I would feel terrible, seeing as Crusch-sama has suffered as long as you had Rem. If we go by the length of suffering, I should come last."

"While it's true I'm in a hurry to help Emilia-tan..."

"It isn't like I don't think Crusch-sama shouldn't be healed. I owe her, too. I'm just trying to look out for you. Subaru, you're always throwing yourself into danger with reasons to excuse yourself."

Crusch had been patient this whole time.

"Natsuki-sama."

Although Crusch looked physically stronger than when he had last seen her, her voice was still incredibly weak.

"There is no panacea for me."

She shook her head.

"The curse afflicting me has a resolution. I just need to pile on this weakness unto others like you. Yet, I refute that."

Subaru swallowed.

"That I cannot remember whom I once was? If that too comes with a price I cannot pay," she looked at Ferris.

"B-But! Crusch-sama!"

Ferris pleaded with him now, instead, "Subaru, are you saying I really can't...there's nothing I can do for her again...? Then-"

Crusch strained herself too far. In a desperate act, she threw her hand out to grab Ferris's wrist. She looked to be in agony.

"Crusch-sama!"

She wrenched Ferris around by his wrist, pulling him away.

"L-Laugh at you old, getting drunk on you young--" Crusch rasped, "Like the passion of a nation, at war it moves in haste, provoked to defense or aggression; it's an unreasoning power, an instinct for self-declaration, like nations its faults are absorbed in its constituents -- Ferris, you can't let yourself be swallowed up like that."

Emilia surprised him by coming between Crusch and her knight, "Crusch-sama, please calm down. Don't hurt yourself." She had a soothing tone, "Ferris-kun was just looking out for you."

"I know. I am able to accept his feelings, but we must not be overwhelmed by the emotions of a single moment."

Emilia shook, "That's sooo wrong though!"

"Emilia-tan?"

"I'm concerned for Subaru's well-being too, but it's unacceptable to leave things like this."

Emilia managed to console Ferris by taking his hand and squeezing it.

"Please have a little more patience. We will make this all right again."

"Myyyyyyyyy," Roswaal sighed, "I was expecting an exchaaaaaaaange like this, but even I underestimated the quandary here."

"You were doing just fine being quiet, you know? We don't need you to inject any more complexity into this dialogue."

Roswaal laughed, "Please keep your adorable barking to a minimum, Subaru-samaaaaa. It would not be wise to undermine your benefactor among esteemed guests."

"Tch."

"Very gooooood." He looked at Crusch, "Crusch-sama, my sincere wishes for your health. You came all this way to pay respect and acknowledge Natsuki Subaru's accomplishments. But since you are declining his generosity, I must put things into perspective," he produced a map and rolled it out onto a polished table. Naturally, it was territorial map of Lugnica. "You are aware of the growing unrest in your camp."

"I'm not shy to the truth."

"Then you know it will not endure in your present state."

"It may still prevail."

"Natsuki Subaru continues in his accomplishments. It is a mere two years before the people will make their decision. Even if some may still have their doubts, you already will have your work cut out for you, even if Subaru-sama should heal you here and now."

"Nothing great comes easy."

"You have prepared enough platitudes for me, but you can barely even utter them in your present state."

"Tch. Ros-chi, what the hell-"

"Be quiet!" Ferris spoke up, "Please keep gyoing, Roswaal-sama."

"Ferris...?"

"Mmhmm. I see. Yes, of course." Roswaal, untucked a pen from his lapel and began to write. "Suppose we draft terms? In exchange for a full recovery, Crusch-sama will...forfeit."

"Forfeit?"

"Her right to the throne. Her participation in the selection."

Emilia and Rem gasped. Wilhelm was crushed. Ferris sank.

"Ros-chi! That's going too far!"

"Is it?"

"It's...not."

"Crusch-sama... no, please reconsider."

"Wilhelm-- I deeply respect you, but consider what Roswaal-sama has already laid out. Even if the chance of victory is non-zero, how could I lead like this?"

"If you did win the election," Emilia spoke, "It is said the dragon's blood could cure anything."

"So I would be forced to take the aid of a dragon I'm told I supposedly hate? Just to be myself again? What kind of a contradiction that would be."

"..."

"Crusch-san, don't listen to Ros-chi, he just twists you up inside and gets you to think his idea was yours all along. Forget about him."

"Natsuki-sama, while I believe it's worth fighting, haven't I made people suffer too much as it is? I will even be asking you to suffer for my sake. Even if that suffering is paid for..."

Crusch became too weak to speak.

"We don't need to make a decision right now, do we?" Emilia negotiated.

The Karsten matriarch was breathing hard, her eyes hollowed out.

"We shouldn't rush into this," Wilhelm said.

"The discussion can be tabled for tomorrow night, I suuuuuuppose. Subaru-kun will need a little time to discuss a myriad of things with me, it seems. Though you never know when an offer like this might disappear."

Subaru grit his teeth, but couldn't deny Roswaal's reasoning. Getting people to peacefully quit would prevent future clashes with Crusch. He had yet to ever ask what might happen in the coming years. He dreaded what might happen if conflict might build up too much between the factions. He didn't want to hurt the people precious to him. It was inconceivable.

"Crusch-sama shyould rest," Ferris said gently, wiping her brow.

"A room has been prepared for her. I will have my servants show you all the way."

And so camp Crusch departed solemnly. No one from camp Subaru called out to them, Subaru looking guiltiest of them all; at least until Emilia gave him a pat.

Roswaal pieced together a grin, "Well, that went better than expected."

"You asshole."

"Mmm."

"Is this what you're planning? To get everyone to quit?"

"Are upset about my ends? I was almost fearful you would find them suspiciously merciful."

"There's nothing merciful about taking away Crusch's-"

"Her pride? Her hubris? That woman will be a nuisance to my plans if she regains even a sliver of her former strength. She was favorite to win. First to be chosen. She should fall first to herald your coming, Subaru-kun."

"-hk."

"Crusch's designs on Lugnica are nothing but capricious and wasteful. If you truly care for this kingdom then you too will celebrate her peaceful and auspicious defeat."

"Roswaal," Emilia pleaded, "Please don't talk to Subaru like that. He's meant to relax here. Isn't that why we're having a party for him?"

"Yes, true, yes; and the both of you look exceedingly lovely. You have such impeccable taste, Subaru-kun."

"Keep your trash thoughts to yourself. Seriously, nobody needed you to say that. I already thoroughly complimented them."

Roswaal sighed dramatically, "I understand that you're tired. Conserve your energy by keeping among yourselves then, I will interrupt you when more guests arrive. This was just the first of many."

On cue, there was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

...and the doors burst open. In came a flurry of feet. An entourage of servants bowed.

"Roswaal-sama, please excuse the intrusion."

"It's quite all right." He grinned to Subaru, "My humble apologies, it seems another guest is here early... come, Nephew, won't you introduce yourself?"

"Yes, hello. I am so pleased to finally be acquainted with you, Natsuki Subaru."

He was thin and handsome, a strong jaw with amber-set eyes. His hair was swept up in a thick cleave of indigo canyon.

"My name is Lut Gardis Mathers. Truly, it's a pleasure to meet you, Subaru-kun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ferris's speech is hard to render in a readable way, just imagine he's adding a bunch of "kya" "mya" and "nya" sounds when he talks. I don't like overdoing it.


	8. Distance

Beatrice thumbed the railing as her short legs strained to reach each step. Her head canted downward, her mind was elsewhere, contemplating her mother's latest incarnation. Some might have expected her to react more strongly to her rebirth, but Beatrice was not a human; she processed her emotions differently. It had been so long since they had spoken, but she had no idea what to truly discuss with her. It wasn't as though things could go back as they used to. She supposed she ought to cherish what time she could spend with her again, even if she had suffered for centuries at Echidna's whim. Filial love itself, was perhaps enough to overlook that, but no matter how distant she kept from such a supposition, it still troubled her.

It was a problem with a large cost attached to it. It was a problem perhaps worth solving, but there were still greater problems on her mind that took higher priority for now.

These particular ancestral halls were dead and their silence told a familiar story. The Mathers servants were all elsewhere, occupied with setting up for the festivities, this part of the mansion forgotten. The guests that might have lived in this elaborate mansion were living lives sequestered from this space; with little actual interest in this part of the "home" (more a fortress or prison, perhaps), the spirit knew what she would inevitably find back here. While these twisted halls were spotless and dust-free, this part of the estate was sparsely decorated and far more drafty. Don't get it twisted though, Beatrice could never call a home like this "welcoming", not that she had ever known a home that even was. For a spirit like her, the concept of "home" differed from how humans thought.

Beatrice was a keeper of stories. She couldn't say she had heard every story, or even every kind of story, but she was well-versed in the written word. Despite the magic stories possessed, humans tended to stray from them. It was enough for some of them to "have" a story locked away; they never needed to actually acquaint themselves with the world within. For that reason alone, books were luxuries and symbols of power. 

At one point, Beatrice had held books in high esteem. Today, she could not maintain that same level of zeal. Even so, she still thought they had more value than humans gave them.

Every book told a story. Even so-called "non-fiction" manuals told a story between the lines; you couldn't articulate how to properly make a fine meal without also motivating the reader to make it in the first place. Tomes of forbidden knowledge held back their author's heart, but they still proudly betrayed the state of their mind and the world they knew. In many of the books Echidna herself had authored (via pseudonym), she had unknowingly revealed a critical misunderstanding of Time. It was a detail she herself should have been more honest about; it might've saved her some hardship. But the less introspection she put toward the nature of her mother's heart, the better.

Beatrice found the Mathers library inside this stately mansion just where she had expected. These archives were not nearly as forbidden as her own previously overseen library had been, but it was still a great place of power. People who had the will to entomb words in pages did so only when they believed they had something valuable to leave behind. It concerned her there was no lock or guardian, though she was loath to imagine anyone having such a job. She had no nostalgia for the four hundred years she spent in custodial captivity.

Old wood knotted and creased over, the fine smell of old ink, old parchment, old leather, old glue; a place where ladders reached high and dangerous spells were well within grasping. Beautiful books, growing in pure mind, but out of what heart began?

Her feelings on libraries had become as scattered as her memories of the last four centuries. Perhaps there were books in this collection she had not yet perused, but she had become incredibly incurious of them as of late. Despite the fact the world outside was predictable and repetitive, she found it easier on her old eyes to see a bright, clear sky; fruit in the trees; wind and leaves of grass; people coming and going. 

She had come here for a reason, however. She hadn't ditched Subaru simply for her own timely relief from his brand of chaos. Quite the contrary, she was preparing herself to become even more immersed in it. 

She was not blind to what was going on: Subaru possessed multiple Authorities. Having fought alongside Echidna in her heyday, Beatrice was intimately acquainted to what that looked like; nor was she keen to keep ignoring the foreboding signs of blossoming Sagacity in her contractor.

"Even though it should be impossible, given the irrefutable truth he turned her down, in-fact..."

The Dragon, The Warrior, and The Sage. She wasn't sure as to the exact origins, but they were prophetically linked to the defeat of Satella. The Dragon was a timeless and heavenly guardian of man. The Warrior was blessed by the gods themselves in preparation for the war against mankind's inevitable fate. The Sage however...

Beatrice stood on a stool, prying from a tall shelf a heavy leather book. It was not any ordinary book; it was a classic. A library couldn't be a library these days without a copy. It was authored before she was born by about one year, chronicling the sudden upheaval of the world and how the god's had abandoned them to die by the witch's shadowy hand.

She unseated its thick strap, lowering the enormous volume onto a furrowed wooden table. Her small and childishly pudgy fingers traced the pages. Dusty ink knocked up her nose, sending her into a sneezing fit. When she finished wiping her nose with a butterfly-emblazoned handkerchief, she found the mundane, forgettable passage she was sure she had once memorized correctly (but she had to be sure). Thankfully, this library had remained carefully organized.

"-so the heavens qualifieth to His Majesty that one ignoble and ascetic shall avow warlock or witch; whom be blessed by the stars but forgotten, then remain in good eyne and be hight a virtuous Sage among men."

Though direct references to the old (and probably forgotten) Heavenly Prophecy were rare, direct references to The Sage were even rarer. It was as though he or she had vanished from the world completely with Satella's passing. Some scholars had suspected The Sage was destined to sacrifice their own life to end the witch's, but it was more apt to say little speculation actually went on. Academic interest flourished elsewhere, where the wealthy nobles could exalt the myths of kings and knights.

The Dragon was a living relic from before her time to which some studies were still devoted. The Sage was an afterthought; low-born ordinary men were thought to have few treasures worth seeking out (merely pawns of the gods, at best). "Disappearing from history" was a fate that seemed oddly connected to the lots of Emilia or Rem; but for such an important person to vanish surely must have suggested something unremarkable had happened, right? Or was it just evidence of noble influence, hiding the exploits of a commoner from record for their own selfish gain.

She had her doubts. It was rarely so simple. Nothing that involved her mother was ever simple, too. What was entirely clear to Beatrice and Roswaal was that to have the qualification to become The Sage, one had to make a pact with a witch. There were more requirements, for sure, but becoming a Sage meant directly confronting sin. The previous Sage was likely contracted to Echidna. Which posed a small problem.

Echidna was the only "living" witch that she knew of; her mother's soul was sealed away by Volcanica, The Divine Dragon, but even dead Echidna still held sway over her graveyard one year ago. Based on her brief (and trying) conversations with Subaru, she knew the boy had encountered and then refused Echidna's hand in order to clasp her own. Though he might have been a candidate for sagehood in theory, he should have closed the door entirely with that lone refusal.

Paradoxically, without such a witchly bond, without becoming a host for sagehood, there was no way Subaru could possess multiple authorities. That he possessed the Invisible Hand itself was concerning enough to her, but now that she had witnessed him wield two authorities at once, she now knew she was missing something critical; her conviction overturned. Could Subaru have made a contract with another witch before he came to Lugnica? Were there other witches still alive in Lugunica? Perhaps he-

"Salutations, Beatrice."

"Salu...?" Beatrice turned, "...t..."

She was stunned. She didn't hear anyone come in. In the doorway was a wraith-like beauty, her immaculate body shrouded in white. Her bare feet did not disturb the faint ether of radiance that rolled off her as she walked closer. An aura only one as sensitive to magic and spirits as Beatrice could view.

"What a hideous face you are making, you should smile. Am I not radiant this afternoon?"

"Who are you, I suppose."

Beatrice fought her own instinct to smile by biting her cheeks. All of her instincts were screaming to flee. She could not force her sluggish body to move. This angelic woman held a great and terrible power over her from word alone. She was an unholy cephalophore, with a pale stone-like countenance and a sinful beauty held in her clasped hands. 

"Making such a sincere face, yet you don't know my name? I would enjoy digesting your state of mind, however, I would find it troublesome if you did something to disturb my machinations. I cannot have you get in the way, fair spirit. We must cut this untimely meeting rather short."

"St-"

"Spirit Beatrice could not possibly be here. She is in a distant place and exactly where she belongs."

And so she was gone. The book which Beatrice had taken off the shelves was now back in its place. All evidence of Beatrice's presence had been erased utterly. It was as if Beatrice's existence had been fated to be elsewhere today. And Pandora smiled, things going exactly as she expected they would.

...or not exactly.

\---

Lut was almost as skilled as his heartless uncle when it came to speaking his mind. Trying to get in Subaru's good graces, he spoke for an insufferable amount of time in praise of Subaru's accomplishments and how grateful he was to have this opportunity. 

Subaru imagined a world where he did become a king. In such a world, he would spend much of his life pacifying nobles like Lut; serving their peculiar tastes and giving them positions of power just esteemed enough as to pacify them, while at the same time giving them so little actual power that they wouldn't do something stupid like rebel against him over things like "abolishing child labor".

Subaru endured Lut, Roswaal's obnoxious nephew. There were a few vague physical similarities to the body-stealing creep flanking him, though that wasn't why Subaru immediately didn't like him. He could handle a "normal" stuck-up noble just fine. It was because--

"Who is that?"

It annoyed Subaru he said "that" instead of simply asking Emilia for her name.

"Hm? I'm...just Emilia."

"Emilia..." Lut breathed, "I apologize. What a divine name, for such a..."

Subaru didn't think she was "just" anyone, but was too paralyzed by a sudden, irrational sort of jealousy he had thought he had been cured of already.

"Emilia-san, may I be so forward and shamelessly frivolous as to call you such?" Lut gravitated right to her the moment he noticed her enchanting presence it seemed, "I am astonished Uncle did not tell me such a bless'd lady would be in his patronage's company." He kissed the back of her tepidly offered hand.

(Rather, she did not offer it, but did not resist when it was pulled limply from her side.) Just why did Emilia let him do that? Right now she wasn't anyone so important, so she could afford to nix the pleasantries!

Subaru cleared his throat, "That would be because he forgot about her."

Lut gave him such a severe look, "Forgot? Just how could anyone forget such majesty?"

"Hey, if there's anyone who can talk about Emilia-tan's merits, it's me. So I'd prefer if you kept those thoughts to yourself. I'm the only one who can say those sorts of things to her."

It seemed either that Lut would not have it or that he'd lost the ability to hear. He moved on from Subaru, somehow so fickle as to be coming here to get in his good graces, but then immediately becoming distracted by a lovely half-elf--

Lut offering a radiant smile of his angular, powdered face, "Emilia-san, I would be honored if you would accompany me tomorrow to the gala? I have no partner yet, but if I could be winged by a graceful smile such as yours... why, we would shine among all the stars in the night sky."

"A-ah?" Emilia giggled with heightened nervousness, "I'm sorry- L-Lut? I don't really know you..."

"I am truly experiencing love at first sight you see. Forgive me forwardness, but I promise to treat you with-"

Subaru stepped forward, cutting into their conversation.

"Emilia-tan said no. I think you got your answer."

"Subaru...?"

"Ah. Subaru-sama. Forgive me, but," he trailed off, "I made an improper first pass. I was merely trying to clarify my position you see? I'm sorry to make such a scene, I should have saved this for a private moment. I recognize you will have more guests coming soon. So perhaps I should leave you...I wish not to overstay my welcome."

The whole time Lut was speaking to Subaru, his jade green eyes were fixated on Emilia. Subaru was pretty sure a less experienced version of himself would be in the process of strangling Lut right about now.

So Subaru vaguely excused himself, not really concerned with any of that, "This is a distraction, yeah. It's a little too fast, too. Don't act like you're the first one to fall for Emilia-tan. So perhaps you should get going. Yeah. You should get going. We're busy." 

He almost said 'you know she's a half-elf?' but stopped just in time - realizing how cruel that sounded; he was not so jealous he would hurt her like that again. Actually, he was rather blessed she could not recall that time he called her Satella. The momentary recollection fooded him just long enough to make him shudder. It was now fresher in his mind since he had re-lived his past in the tower.

Roswaal sighed, "Lut, dear, must you embarrass me? Subaru-sama is an important person to this family."

"I understand." He apologized, "But I would like some clarification. Emilia-san is - what's her relationship with Subaru-sama? If you would not mind it, someday I would like to try proposing again. What I said before was true, even if I spoke rashly."

"..."

"Well?"

Roswaal laughed.

"...what is she to me?" Subaru swallowed, "You have a lot of nerve just asking that out of the blue. You don't even know me."

This kind of question was existential and always in the back of his mind; for it had only an answer Emilia could supply. An answer he feared worse than death. Rem, her presence no longer pregnantly silent, put a comforting hand on Subaru's back. Somehow, she knew he was distressed by such a candidly open question.

"Weeeell, it is not an entirely inappropriate question, Subaru-sama~" Roswaal teased, "Even an unknown member of your consort to you will gain some status and be someone a lesser noble wishes to woo."

"Lesser?" Lut aggrieved his uncle.

"They are friends first, Lut-sama," Rem's woven voice matched her assurance, stepping in to guard Emilia.

Emilia looked at the oni in surprise, wondering if Rem had spontaneously recalled their time together. Rem sounded that fierce.

"That much is obvious, I need not present any "evidence" for that. Can you not see how comfortable she is around Subaru-sama? Forgive my rudeness, but I am an astute observer of the truth. If you also want to survive with the Mathers family behind you, you should be more shrewd about such fine details, too."

It was obvious that Lut immediately hated Rem, just from a single scathing look, not taking kindly to her interference.

"But thank you for your supererogatory opinion...ah, I don't quite know your name."

"Who says 'supererogatory' anymore?" Emilia mumbled.

"It's Rem, Lut-sama."

He barely nodded, "Yes, well, then that is fine!" he looked significantly at Emilia, "Forgive my forwardness, friend of Subaru-sama. I will look forward to inviting you to dance at least once tomorrow, Emilia-san."

Subaru opened his mouth, but closed it. He didn't know what to say. He floundered in part from the speed Lut was moving, in part from not wanting to make decisions for Emilia...though part of him wished he would, otherwise.

"I think I will retire then, before I embarrass Uncle further. But I am grateful for our first meeting, Subaru camp," he gave Emilia yet another look of longing, this time a long panning gaze bordering on "gawking", then stormed out with his servants cherishing his retreat.

"...that guy was an asshole. But at least he had the sense to leave."

Subaru's words had no bite to them. He was bothered by it more than he'd like.

Rem giggled.

Emilia just frowned, looking lost in thought.

\---

When Lut left, Roswaal took a seat and had one of his servants pour him a tall red glass of wine. He began to sip it.

"Please do be more careful with your words, Subaru-sama," Roswaal wagged his eyebrows, "It would be in your best interests not to start a war with other nobles. Consider this event a good lesson for you."

Subaru glared at Roswaal, but eventually let up. He raked a hand through his feathered hair, internalizing his frustration. Roswaal clearly approved of this, for he smiled genuinely.

Emilia and Rem floated close by, but couldn't initiate any further conversation, the doors to the foyer burst open. Garfiel charged in, the small and dainty Petra scooting right behind him.

"Oy, Cap'n! My amazin' self was about to go 'zerkin! You not only did nof'n to greet me after that dangerous journey you went on 'gain, but you even left Petra like The 'Nauts Bailed Their God'dess o' the Wine Red Sea!"

He shook his head.

"I don't know what you're saying, Garf."

Rem giggled, "Subaru-sama, in Ginunhive, a famous group of pirates lost their legendary galleon because they boarded the wrong boat in a hurry to make off with a huge ransom."

"Oh."

Petra giggled too. She was like a little sprite, floating over to Subaru, she glomped his one arm, tugging on it with a cheeky grin.

"It's okay Subaru-sama! I know you're always so busy. It's not normally like you to just...ignore me."

"A-ah! I wasn't trying to ignore you Petra-chan! I was just- Look, it's his fault!"

Roswaal threw up his open palms and swayed his head.

"Maa~ maa~, Subaru-sama, I have noooooo idea why you're blaming me. I have never had any trouble with expressing my love."

"Your dirty clown, that's got nothing to do with this."

"Yeeeeees it does. Do you not think Rem and your half-elf are not thinking about it, also? About just how many eyes are on you, Subaru-sama."

"-hk!"

"-hk!"

"--hhhk!"

Petra looked among the three 'hk-ing' and decided to choke too, making a squeaky, "-hhhyk!"

Garfiel clapped a leathered, frayed hand on Subaru's shoulder, "Oy, I didn' mean t'stir up trouble with my amazin' words or nothin'. S'just, a lot happened while you were gone! With the Witch of Pride's remains n' e'erythin'. S'really important! The kinda stuff my cap'n should know about straight away." He stopped and looked at Emilia, "Oy, who's this?! Did you bring back another g-girl! C-Captain!"

Emilia stuck out a hand, "Hello Garfiel. I'm Emilia. Please take care of me."

"Oh? Ah. Sure!" he flicked between them and Rem, "W-wait a minute-- s'right! Rem! Ah, we barely exchanged words and you were already-"

"It's okay Garfiel-san," Rem had a warm smile, "I was a little impolite. It's been so long since we saw each other. You've really grown."

"Y...yeah. S...so have you."

"Garfiel, why the hell are you blushing right now."

"What? S'c-- crap! I forgot! This whole time she was-- you were dotin' on her!"

"Obviously I was doting on Rem!"

"I- I didn' mean to blush 'bout my amazin' cap'n's w-wife-t'be!"

"W-wife!" 

Petra was suffocating his arm.

"Subaru! You didn't tell me you proposed to Rem already! That's not fair!"

"Subaru proposed...?"

Rem shook her head, "No, please don't worry Petra-chan, Emilia-san! Subaru-sama hasn't proposed to me yet."

Emilia mouthed the word 'yet'.

"Why did you say 'yet', Rem-onee-sama!" Petra squared her face into a red blazing star, "S-Subaru's-- he's-- it's not written in the stars, yet! See? He totally hasn't made his mind up yet!"

Subaru laughed grimly, like one of those actors playing a "wounded and dying samurai with many regrets".

"Petra-chan, it would be really great if you didn't...bring this up right now, I really can't deal with this, with everything else going on and...L-Look, you know I can't return your feelings with such a conspicuous age-gap--"

"I'm going to be fifteen soon!"

"A-as if that rectifies anything! You know I don't mind collecting lolis but there's a limit to the amount of fan service that's acceptable. I won't complain if it's a five-star I'm getting, but it's not like I can treat you the same way I do an Altera or an Okita Alter!"

"E-eh?"

Garfiel bared his fangs, "Cap'n's ravin' about somethin' amazin' again! But yeah. I'm real sorry. Anyway, d'you got a moment? We really need to talk."

Subaru sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "Rem, Emilia, Petra...Roswaal, let's have a seat. I guess this is important."

"M'yeah!"

They gathered at the round table with Roswaal. Garfiel began to recount.

"So after you went racin' after the Sage, I decided we needed to make sure the witch's remains that the archbishop wanted weren't just g'na end up in her hands after all that darn work we did to stop 'er! That's when Lilliana and I-"

"Who?"

"Lilliana."

"Oh, right, that bard girl," Subaru nodded, "Continue."

"So we-"

\---

When Beatrice opened her eyes, she found many marvelous, unforgettable things. She sat up, the wobbly cushion under her giving way from a familiar weight. She rubbed her eyes, blinking frantically, then shook her head. She rubbed her temples like any four-timing geriatric would. What she was seeing made no sense.

Wire racks right out of a blacksmith's shop supported chromatic boxes. Miniature armored dolls with finely painted details posed before her. Everything was shiny and square. The only thing she immediately recognized was a bookshelf, but its contents were far too colorful to be for regular books.

Everything was coated with a thin layer of dust.

Her short feet touched the fuzzy floor. Her dress's tails fluttered behind her. She was straining her toes to reach for books. She was a little wary of picking up one of the cute dolls beside them, afraid she might break its fragile-seeming ornaments.

"That one rather looks like that Emilia girl, in-fact."

Beatrice considered her last whereabouts. She focused and squeezed as hard as her mind could, vaguely recalling the Pleiades Tower, but everything after taking Subaru's hand was vague. She had a very bad feeling about all this. Every moment since she had taken his hand had been very clear and vivid, she would not have forgotten how she arrived at this room unless someone had tampered with her memory.

"I can't feel Subaru."

Those words came to her mind and she spoke them to make them sound more urgent to herself. Even so, for a reason she could not explain, although she could not feel her contractor through their bond at the present moment, she didn't feel all that distant to him.

Beatrice pulled a strange book off the heavy metal rack. Because of her height, she failed to see the domino-effect of pulling one book out of the slanted stack. A dozen heavy, silky books smashed into the floor. While they weren't that heavy individually, their collapse jangled, shook and crashed the room.

"Someone rather careless cared for this room, I suppose." 

Beatrice made a sour face as she grunted. She piled the fallen books neatly then looked at the one she had retrieved. Naturally, it was in a language she could not read. She had expected that. It was seemingly a child's book at first, but upon closer inspection the material was far too advanced for children; but it had many colorful pictures too. Like the white-haired elfin figurine on the shelf, its cover sported a lithe pale-haired girl. From the pictures, Beatrice could tell this was some sort of story of heroism.

Setting the book aside, Beatrice sat on the floor. She started to investigate the lidded boxes on the shelf, pulling them one by one to reveal many peculiar things. She could not properly describe them, but the contents were surprisingly lightweight.

Sorting through the oddities, Beatrice kept her cool. Although she had very little mana in reserve, she didn't have any concerns at the moment. She merely had to solve this puzzle and return to Subaru. Maybe the Beatrice of old would have had some immediate panic, but this Beatrice was at ease, just pouring over the many interesting clues laid before her and mentally preparing herself to go through the door on the left. In time. She was patient and rational. That part of her had not changed. She would not get emotional. She was not afraid to step beyond the threshold. Nope. She'd gotten over that. She would definitely not hole up in this room for weeks and months to build up resolve. No way.

Perhaps she should have been more careful with the noise. Disturbing the room's contents and circulating the dust around, Beatrice began to sneeze. Perhaps this was why the door opened on its own and an unfamiliar woman came through with a terrified look on her face.

On her knees, Beatrice's blonde brow bunched up. Beatrice was facing the unknown woman as she disturbed Betty's investigative reading.

"What are you holding a broom like that for, I suppose?"

The broom fell with the woman's arm going limp. The brunette moved her sanpaku eyes across the scattered floor.

"I thought I heard a burglar," the woman lowered her voice, "Who are you? How did you get in here? I swear I stopped leaving the front door open the last time this happened." 

Beatrice didn't confront the strange thing the woman said, finding it too troublesome. 

"Could she be--? No, she's far too young to be another admirer of Kenichi's...though she is rather adorable..."

Beatrice didn't confront the next strange thing the woman said, finding it even more troublesome. 

Betty rose to her feet and arranged her dress, offering a slight bow. She wasn't sure why she did it, but it felt like the correct gesture for whatever reason.

"My name is Beatrice. I don't remember how I arrived here. Perhaps you could tell me where I am, I suppose? Or perhaps who you are, that might also work."

"Hello Beatrice. Me? I'm Naoko! And this is 3 Chome-4-1, Sai-"

There was something vaguely familiar about her smile. She couldn't exactly call it 'carefree', but it had a charming quirkiness to it that... ah.

"I'm sorry for making a mess, I suppose I shouldn't have gone through this room so recklessly. I was just trying to get my bearings, in-fact. I will put things back as they were."

Beatrice did as she said she would. Naoko watched her for a blink, calming down as she observed the small girl work on her knees.

"Let me help you."

"That is unnecessary I suppose, but thank you."

Beatrice took note of Naoko's movements. They were not necessarily "refined", but there was a certain noble grace and guided gentleness to them she could not place; she thought she might be in a castle or manor of some kind, but this woman was clearly not a queen or princess; her manilla apron and simple striped sleeves were too homely, yet her hands were soft looking for a woman of a lower caste. Beatrice orchestrated it so their fingers would brush as they put the final touches on the shelf, making ultimate right of Beatrice's dusty stumbling. The woman's hands were indeed soft. Like a noblewoman's, or even Subaru's. Perhaps it was her eyes that led Betty to that conclusion.

She was surprised when Naoko instinctually asked for her hand. And when she gave no verbal rejection, Naoko took it.

"You have very cute hands, Beatrice-chan."

"W...wah?"

"They're quite small! How old are you?"

"I am four hundred one years old, in-fact."

Naoko giggled, "You must have been raised well. A lady must not reveal her true age to just anyone...I was just making lunch, would you like some?"

Thinking about her mother, Beatrice agreed tentatively. So, they departed the room and took up the kitchen. Beatrice took a seat at the table, her eyes wandering the whole way.

She refrained from talking about the surreal nature of this home. Her eyes were drawn to the windows along the way, an alien world just lying beyond them. Not the adventurous sort, she enjoyed the current safety of her seat while Naoko oversaw a steaming pot on a strange stove. 

She had nothing to say, but Naoko would not let silence hang in the air for long.

"You have a very pretty dress, Beatrice-chan. What's the occasion?"

"This is what I normally wear, I suppose."

"That's very indulgent of you, but I suppose Halloween is getting more popular these days?"

"Mother made it especially for me, so I've never entertained the idea of wearing much else."

"And where is your mother now?"

"...I don't know, I suppose."

"You don't know? That's-"

"She was gone for a long time, then she just very recently appeared. I...haven't been trying to think too much on it, I suppose."

Naoko scooped rice into a tea bowl. Dumplings and salmon filets and peas joined it on a plate. Beatrice was surprised by the medley of rich scents. Even if food was not of much use to her, she could still appreciate it somewhat.

"Then how about your-"

"Do you think I can eat that much, in-fact?"

Naoko laughed, "It's fine if you can't, but you're a growing girl, aren't you? And I don't have anyone besides my husband to feed. And he doesn't even like peas." 

She shifted into a seat, putting her elbows on the table. Beatrice savored Naoko's cooking, eating toy-sized bites.

"Do you like it?"

"It's well-made, in-fact."

It reminded her of Subaru's cooking. He would contribute to the kitchen very often. He was perhaps not the most skilled chef, but some of his ideas had influenced the cuisine Ram and Frederica now prepared.

"Do you mind if...obviously I'm rather concerned about... I want to ask you Beatrice-chan, about whether you ran away from home?"

"Ran away?" 

Her butterfly-adorned eyes shone in the stark kitchen light.

"From home."

"Oh." She shook her head, "No, I don't believe so, I suppose." A shrug, wiping her cheeks with a strange napkin, "I just don't remember how I got here is all."

She didn't really have any place to "run to". Perhaps Subaru had gotten her so mad she had teleported herself somewhere distant? Or perhaps a tower's trap put her here. Or perhaps she was caught in a dream. Any of those explanations were lacking, but they were more likely than a desire to "run away".

"I'm sure your mother and-- well-- I don't want to presume, but-- they must be very worried about you."

"Mmmn. No, I don't have that sort of mother, in-fact."

She did wonder how Subaru would fret after her disappearance. She imagined he would react much in the same manner he did concerning Rem's virtual disappearance from the world. Maybe that was indulgent of her. She decided she didn't like it either way, since he was the sort of boy to make matters worse, tearing things up in search for her. She'd rather it not come to that. She was a self-sufficient girl who didn't need any more of his single-minded help!

"I- I know I can't speak for her, but all mothers...I mean, I would worry for you. Could you tell me where your address is? Perhaps your mom's phone number?"

"I don't know any of that, I suppose." Beatrice fondled the fork in her hand. "Last I remember, I awakened in that room. Perhaps you could tell me who it belongs to? Perhaps they brought me here."

"That would be my son's room. And there's no way he could have done that."

"Your son?" Beatrice grimaced, "There are dolls in there, in-fact." 

Not to mention, the walls were plastered in iconography of white-haired girls...

Naoko withered a ghost of a smile, "Don't ever call a boy's toy a doll, Beatrice-chan~ They'll get all defensive about it."

"Yes, well, that isn't Betty's problem. But then perhaps your son could still explain how I became placed in his room."

"Perhaps he could," Naoko looked down at her polluted reflection in the table, "If he were around."

"He's not around? Ah, there was a lot of dust, I suppose."

"Yes, it's been over a year and one month since Subaru last slept in there."

"S...Subaru."

"My son's been gone a while, but he'll be back some day. He w- He's, well, into manga, like many boys his age. Did you see anything you liked in his collection? I'm sure he wouldn't mind letting you borrow something."

Fish-mouthed, Beatrice swallowed. She hesitated. She had been careful not to say too much or too little. She didn't know enough to act or who exactly this woman was. But she also wasn't a fool.

"Did your son run away from you?"

Beatrice regretted her words the moment they left her mouth. She could see Naoko was struck by the accusation. The woman recovered by taking Beatrice's empty plate from her and washing it at the sink.

"Of course not. It wasn't like that. Even if it was, he wouldn't have run away without taking at least one of those figures with him and a second set of clothes and many other things."

Beatrice didn't know about that. Subaru hadn't ever been too interested in possessions. He'd even worn much of the same thing since they met.

Beatrice rubbed the edge of the table. She knew this had to be connected. She was reluctant to continue down this line of reasoning, but it made the most sense, because when she had brushed hands with Naoko, she had already known... there was more than a simple physical resemblance there.

"I suppose your family name is Natsuki, Lady Naoko?"

"Hmm? Didn't I say that already? And please, just call me Naoko."

"No, you didn't say," She swallowed, "I simply assumed, in-fact."

There was an awkward pause. Not turning to face her, Beatrice carefully formed her next words.

"So, continuing with that assumption, should I also assume you are the reason Subaru acts so irritatingly casual with me?"

\---

"--I had no idea the remains of a witch would be kept like that, or that they'd be in-tact after all these years."

And so Garfiel had finished his telling of his "epic" adventures in Pristella. It certainly made his exploits seem rather heroic.

"Yeah, well, s'long as there's no chance of the Witch's Cult using them for some n'farious purpose n' stuff, all's well that ends well."

"Yeah, I guess s'long as you reach the right ending, everything worked out," he muttered distractedly.

Rem and Emilia were quiet. Petra didn't have much to add. She was instead doing her best impression of a mature "adult", much of it modeled after the serious Frederica. Naturally, Subaru found it so adorable he wanted to praise her but ended up reining himself in; he didn't want a recurrence of what they'd been hassling him about.

Roswaal nodded along, "I would have loooooved to study the remains of the Witch of Pride, but it is safer indeeeeeed that they are no longer within anyone's reach."

The doors to the foyer opened and closed with a formal gait. A lithe servant approached Roswaal and whispered into his ear.

"Oh? More guests? It seems we have more people trickling in to see you, Subaru-sama."

Garfiel puffed his chest. He wasn't at all dressed for this event, just wearing a ruffian's vest. Petra looked proper, but was just another member of the staff. Envy glittered in her eyes at Rem's simple indulgence and Emilia's raiment.

"Garfiel-kun, perhaps you should get dressed and rejoin us? It would be a scandal for Lady Barielle to see you like that, don't you think?"

Subaru waved him off, "Garfiel can stay like he is, if he wants. If Priscilla's the next one to arrive, it's not going to be any issue. She's just the worst, but it's not like she hasn't met Garfiel before."

"I think you're underestimating the value of proper decorum, Subaaaaaaru-sama," Roswaal sang.

"Yeah, well, this is all basically one big catastrophe anyway. I'd rather people just see us for what we are."

"Populism is a novel method to power, Subaru-sama, but the opinions of the people of Lugunica are easy for our enemies to manipulate. You should be careful about that caaaaavalier attitude."

"Yeah, yeah. Just bring her in already. I can take her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter suffered a little, but I'm pushin' through it to keep things rollin' along. Sorry about that!  
> Also, WN restarted (finally), but there haven't been any huge divergences yet.


End file.
